Too Late
by Grissom1
Summary: Can Grissom show Sara his true feelings before it's too late. Set in my alternate universe.
1. Chapter 1

**Too Late**

"You want to have dinner with me?" asked Sara as she held her breath.

His reply was quick and decisive.

The word "no" echoed in the room.

It wasn't even a pleasant let down.

It was harsh and hurtful.

She persisted needing to see that glimpse of concern and slight hint of some hidden feeling she had felt when he held her hand to examine the deep gash after the explosion.

She saw nothing now as he stood there waiting impatiently for her to leave.

She blurted out the one thing he had feared most since he began losing his hearing but he did not go after her. Instead, he let her disappear down those halls like she had done so many times before when she had placed her heart out on a platter and he had refused.

It was different this time.

He had wanted to say yes.

He had wanted to explain why he had been so distant and for once let someone see his vulnerability but his pride would not allow this simple comfort.

He knew he should have told her something once the surgery was a success but he had seen a change in her.

She was now distant and for the first time he thought he was really too late.

He hated their situation. He no longer liked being her boss and wondered if he could really give up working with her in order to have her. He had grown so used to having her by his side despite their strained relationship. They had practically stopped talking except for the occasional conversation about cases or workloads. She was a professional through and through. She had even stopped lingering around his door at the end of each shift to say good night and it had bothered him.

He wanted to set things right between them.

He had no idea how or what he could do to fix the many years of rejection. He knew if he returned to his old ways he would just end up hurting her again. She had been hurt enough. His plan was put on hold when his creditability had been called into question on a case and despite the ramifications; he refused to leave an innocent man in prison based on evidence that had not been processed.

He stared at the fingerprint on the matchbook as he sat there on the stand and cursed inwardly.

He knew this was not going to go well.

He knew Ecklie would blame him and by all rights if there was going to be any blame it should fall on his shoulders. He had processed the matchbook and now, suddenly, as if by magic there was a fingerprint that appeared out of nowhere.

He knew he could not have missed it but yet he had no explanation, and so he threw himself into finding that answer while Ecklie assigned someone to do a formal investigation into his ability to properly supervise.

He didn't like to supervise.

He hated it.

He liked to teach.

However, he also liked the control he had over the grave yard shift and now that he was at risk of losing it, he realized how much he wanted to keep his position. It was the first time he had ever admitted that to himself. He watched as the attractive blonde made her rounds to each of his employees followed by his notes on his explanation as to why the fingerprint had miraculously appeared after all these months.

He expected to be cleared of any wrongdoing but then he also knew office politics, and sometimes these type of incidents were just the thing needed to get rid of someone who had rocked the boat one too many times. He hoped that did not apply to him as he sat there in Ecklie's office with Sofia Curtis.

He was eventually cleared of any wrongdoing but he was not prepared to have his team split up.

He blamed Ecklie.

It was his decision.

At least it appeared to be Ecklie's decision.

He sat there and steamed as Ecklie demoted Sofia placing her on his team while Catherine was promoted to swing shift. In one swift action, he lost three of his team members. It angered him. He was not used to sudden change. He wanted them back but knew he should be thankful he still kept his job. He looked at the assignments as he glanced around the table. He had felt a sudden sense of loyalty to Sofia for siding with him. He knew her demotion had been a blow to her and he felt responsible.

Of course, Sofia's decision had been the right decision.

He had committed no errors.

He had reviewed the evidence once the finger print appeared and filed his supplemental report. He had crossed his T's and dotted his I's but in the end had lost part of his team. At least he had his job and Sara. He also knew that Sofia had lost her position because of him and he wanted her to feel welcome in their unit. One look at Sara's face and he knew it would not be easy.

He quickly handed out assignments and looked at Sofia.

"Sofia, you take the lead on this case," he ordered.

Sara and Greg said nothing.

"Sara, you'll assist," he said.

Sara bristled but she said nothing.

She had heard about the woman.

Sofia was liked and disliked.

She had a flirtatious behavior that most men liked but women hated. She was beautiful, smart and had a sense of humor. She had all the traits Sara wished she possessed. She was a very confident young woman and despite the demotion, she held her head high. The others in the lab knew that it had only been a political move and had nothing to do with her capability. She had only been a supervisor for a short period of time having moved there from New Jersey.

She had tried unsuccessfully to turn the swing shift around. She had finally reached a point in which there had been a little improvement but then she was stripped of her position by Ecklie.

Sara quickly made her way to her vehicle and grabbed her kit. She slid into the vehicle with the woman.

"So tell me the scoop behind Gil Grissom," purred Sofia.

"Scoop?" questioned Sara.

"Yeah. Word has it that you knew him in San Francisco. What type of women does Grissom like?" she asked.

Sara's chest tightened.

She had felt the sudden attraction between Grissom and Sofia. There was definitely electricity between the two which was more than she could say for her own relationship with the man.

"I wouldn't know," replied Sara. "I've never seen him with a woman."

It was a lie.

Sofia's mouth curled into a smile. "By the way he's looked at me, I'm certain he's not the gay type and I'm pretty certain the attraction is mutual."

Sara's stomach knotted.

Sofia had just acknowledged the attraction and now Sara felt more and more threatened.

She knew it was going to be hard with Nick and Warrick gone, but she was not prepared for this.

"I heard something about a dominatrix," remarked Sofia.

Sara remained quiet.

"Oh, I get it. You're the loyal type. I like that," she responded.

Sara kept her eyes focused on the window.

"Don't have a thing for him yourself, do you?" asked Sofia.

_Yes, but he's turned me down over and over…_

_I hope he does the same thing to you…_

_Then at least it won't hurt as much…_

"He's my boss," she replied with a tight lipped smile.

"Between you and me, personnel has never pressed that issue ever since Ecklie dated his employee and then married her."

It was news to Sara.

Her stomach churned again.

Sara kept her distance during the investigation. She did what she was told and once the evidence was collected they returned to the lab. She quickly grabbed a cup of Greg's fresh coffee. She smiled after the first sip.

"Tell me that smile is for me," implored Greg as he came into the room.

"Always," teased Sara.

He returned the smile. "How was it?"

Sara started to reply but stopped the moment Sofia entered the room.

"What smells so good?" asked Sofia as she headed toward the coffee machine.

"My own personal stash," declared Greg.

"Share and we can be great buddies…even after work," purred Sofia.

Sara was surprised when Greg stepped aside and even assisted with handing Sofia a cup.

_I can share Greg…_

_I can be professional…_

_Is her hair bleached blonde…?_

_Of course…_

Sara continued drinking her coffee.

"How did it go?" asked Grissom as he stuck his head inside the break room.

"Let me fill you in," offered Sofia as she linked her hand around Grissom's arm and leaned in whispering softly to Grissom.

He chuckled as they walked down the hall.

Sara fumed inwardly.

"Looks like she's made a big hit with Grissom," said Greg.

"It seems she's a hit with everyone," replied Sara coolly.

Greg glanced at her suddenly. "Not me…I mean I'm just trying to welcome her to the team…nothing more."

Sara set the coffee cup down and headed for the door. "Better get to work."

"Hey Sara," called Greg quickly.

She turned and looked at him.

"You're still my favorite," he crooned with a slight grin.

"Bye Greggo," said Sara as she disappeared.

Sara glanced down the hall when she heard Grissom's voice. She was tempted to step out into the hallway just to chat as he passed. They had not done that much as of late. She knew it partly was her fault. She had been keeping her distance in hopes that he would notice.

He hadn't.

He hadn't even missed their conversations.

She was sure when she stopped coming by his office after shift, he would say something.

He hadn't.

He didn't care or hadn't noticed.

She wasn't sure which was worse at the moment. She swallowed her pride and came to stand in the doorway but regretted the action as soon as she saw Sofia by Grissom's side. He walked past her without a word. Sofia's eyes fluttered briefly to acknowledge her presence but then they were gone.

Sara turned quickly and retreated back inside tossing the report she had finished down on the table.

She told herself it was better this way.

He had finally let her know there would be no future between them.

There certainly had not even been a past.

Her arms folded about her body as she tried to calm the tightness in her chest.

She was startled when his voice boomed behind her.

She turned quickly and looked at Grissom.

"Report done?" he asked.

"What?" she asked.

"Taylor report," he replied.

"Yes," she proclaimed as she handed him the report.

"Good," he said as he disappeared once more.

_Thank you…you're welcome…good job…of course if I were Sofia…_

_Like she can get anywhere with someone who's emotionally unavailable…_

_He probably doesn't even know she's interested…._

_Was he wearing cologne?_

Sara unbuttoned her blouse letting it slip to the floor as she put on a clean blouse. She took her time changing clothes. She knew the guys were nowhere in sight and Grissom would be held up in his office like he was every day at the end of shift. She pulled back her hair into a ponytail as she stood there in her red laced bra exposed by the unbuttoned blouse.

"Sara…" he stopped abruptly and stared at her.

Her hands propped themselves on her hips and she exhaled deeply. "The Richards file is finished also. It's in your in basket up front."

Her eyes stared at his and it was then that she noticed his eyes were staring at her chest. She glanced down and felt mortified that she had been standing there with her blouse unbuttoned.

"Sorry," she stammered as she turned her back and quickly tried to make her fingers button the blouse in lightning speed.

She turned now and was surprised to find him in the same pose. She glanced down quickly.

"What?"

He licked his lips and tried to talk but found his voice quite juvenile sounding.

"I'm uhm sorry," he finally stuttered. "I needed to talk with you about the Taylor case."

"Okay," she said with arms folded in front of her now which made him feel even more juvenile for staring at her breasts.

He nodded toward his office and she fell into step with him.

He said nothing until they were inside his office.

She was startled when he closed his office door.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"Sara, your evidence contradicts what Sofia's report indicated," he said.

He could already tell she was putting up her defenses.

"Look, I know it must be hard for you and Greg to adjust to the changes in the unit but…"

"There's nothing wrong with my report," insisted Sara.

Grissom stared at her. "Sofia said the bullet that killed Mrs. Taylor was fired from the direction where the husband was standing."

"Look, I would like nothing better than to see the husband go to prison for murder since he used his wife as a punching bag but he could not have fired from that location."

"You're sure?" asked Grissom. "He tested positive for GSR."

"He may have tested positive for GSR but he did not kill his wife. The projection of the entry wound along with the eye witness account of the officer proves he could not have done it. The officer stated he saw the husband standing in front of the window with the gun pointed at him which prompted the officer to open fire. Griss, he did not shoot his wife."

"And the bullet?" asked Grissom.

"We thought it would be retrieved during the autopsy but Doc said it exited the body," reasoned Sara.

"Did you tell this to Sofia?" asked Grissom.

"It's in the report," she retorted.

He glanced through the report once again before handing it back to her.

"You have an issue to resolve," said Grissom.

She stared at him in disbelief.

"Griss, there is nothing to back up her report. I have…"

"Get the bullet," he ordered.

She bit her lower lip.

He was taking Sofia's side.

He was accusing her of being wrong.

It hurt.

It was one thing to reject her feelings for him but it was another to question her work.

She prided herself over her work as much as he did.

She snatched the report from his hands and flew out of the office before he could say another word.

She fumed as she walked down the hall.

She headed out the back just as Sofia stepped out of the locker room.

"Hey, Gil said there was a discrepancy in our reports," she said. "You should have let me review it before submitting it."

Sara said nothing as she headed down the hall.

She was surprised when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Hey Sara, I'm not the enemy. I'm just trying to fit in," empathized Sofia.

_You fit in better than I do…_

_I've been here for years and still Grissom treats me like…_

Note from author:

Welcome back. Sorry for the delay so let's get started.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Hours passed as Sara searched the inside of the house once again. She cursed as she came up empty handed.

"I know you're here," she professed out loud.

She stood and stretched her neck from side to side as she tried to work out the sore muscles. She had been there since leaving the lab and she was not about to leave without the bullet. It would not be the first time she had reported to work without sleep. She stared at the window and tried to recreate the crime scene in her head. She stepped over to the opposite window and lifted the window.

"If the window was open…" she smiled when she saw the small tear in the screen. She stepped across the room and opened the other window finding a similar tear in it as well.

"The bullet passed through the front window hitting Mrs. Taylor and then exiting out the back window," theorized Sara. She looked out the window at the large oak tree outside and smiled.

She dug into the trunk of the tree and smiled when she found the bullet.

"Thank you very much!" she sang out.

She was dirty and grimy but she did not care as she marched toward his office. He was there freshly slept, showered and smelling irresistible.

He turned and frowned. "What happened to you?"

She dropped the bagged bullet evidence onto his desk along with the report.

He grinned as she turned her back and slumped down into the chair.

"The bullet matches the gun of a police officer who was standing outside. I think he fired at Mr. Taylor, missing him but hitting Mrs. Taylor. The bullet passed through her body and then exited out the other window, striking the trunk of the tree."

"Have you shared his new information with Sofia?" asked Grissom.

"No, I just got the ballistic information back and thought I would leave that for you," she miffed.

"Go shower…and change clothes," he ordered.

_No thank you…_

_You were right and Sofia was wrong…_

_Of course that would mean…_

_Never mind…_

"Sara it's not about proving another CSI was wrong. It's about resolving all of the unanswered questions such as…"

"I get it," she muttered as she stood.

"Do you?" he asked sounding irritated.

"Yes, you questioned me rather than Sofia. You could have asked Sofia to prove her position. Mine was correct."

"With the bullet you proved who the shooter was."

He was right of course but it still angered her that he challenged her rather than Sofia.

She turned to leave but he called her back.

"Sara!"

Their eyes locked.

"Sofia is trying to adjust. You could be more supportive."

_More supportive?_

_She's already a hit with everyone especially you…_

Sara quickly disappeared.

Grissom opened the file and stared at the contents.

Sara remained silent as Sofia sauntered into the room and sat down beside Greg.

"I heard about the new evidence on the Taylor case," said Sofia. "I heard you found the bullet and matched it to an officer."

"Yes, I did."

"Good work," announced Sofia as she sipped on Greg's coffee.

The compliment was genuine but it came from the wrong person.

She wanted it from Grissom.

Weeks slipped by as Grissom continued to pair Sara with Sofia. One evening Sofia leaned against the counter and sighed out loud.

"Penny for your thoughts," said Grissom.

"I don't think Sara cares for me," she admitted. "She rarely says much."

"Sara is very private," he replied pouring a cup of coffee.

"Gil, I have to be honest, I don't like graveyard. I would like to work in homicide but you know there's no vacancy."

"You're still adjusting," he consoled. "Give it some time."

"I'm just being honest. The first vacancy that opens, I'm going to transfer."

He didn't want that. "I know it hasn't been easy. It could have been me. I appreciate what you did… for me."

"I told the truth," she answered.

"Sometimes, the truth can be strained in this department when politics are at stake."

They smiled at one another.

Sara stood in the doorway as she caught the exchange. She started to back out when she ran into Nick.

"Hey," he said with a smile.

"Hey," she replied.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Never better," she struggled.

"Well, today is going to be great," he declared.

He grinned as he came into the break room dragging Sara with him.

"So bugman, what's on the agenda for tonight?" asked Nick.

"I'm sure we can find something for you guys," smiled Grissom.

Sara grabbed an apple and skirted out of the room before she could be included in the conversation.

"Does Sara know yet?" asked Nick.

"I was going to make the announcement during assignments," explained Grissom.

Sara's head shot up when Nick sat down beside her.

"Miss me?" he asked.

Sara's expression made him chuckle.

"Long story," he whispered as Warrick joined them followed by Catherine.

Grissom appeared and sat down.

"Good to have everyone back," announced Grissom.

Sara and Greg exchanged glances.

It was Catherine who explained.

"I told Ecklie I would quit if I had to stay one more week on swing," she said. "He agreed to let us come back to graveyard."

"That means we're going to have to help cover swing until a supervisor can be located," said Grissom.

Sofia said nothing.

Sara watched as Sofia and Grissom exchanged glances.

"Ecklie will be looking for a replacement for the supervisory position of swing. I suggest if anyone is interested to submit an application," said Grissom.

"You think Ecklie will accept mine?" laughed Sofia.

"I'm not sure how you did it," muttered Catherine.

"Too many new recruits," said Sofia. "They need a lot of guidance."

"I referred to it as babysitting," complained Catherine.

Sara felt her heart flutter when she saw the exchange of looks between Sofia and Grissom.

She was relieved when he passed out the assignments. She quickly grabbed hers and left. She refused to look back when she heard Grissom calling after Sofia.

"Look, this isn't your fault that Ecklie did this. Listen, I heard someone may be leaving homicide," said Sofia. "I need a recommendation in order to transfer."

"Let's talk about that," said Grissom, "How about the diner for dinner?"

Sofia smiled. "You're not going to convince me to stay."

"I've been known to be very persuasive," said Grissom as they made their way down the hall.

Sara stood at the back door and tried not to notice the two talking in hushed tones.

_Get used to it Sara…_

_They're always together…_

_He's trying his best to keep her…_

Sara felt the hug from Nick as he pulled her out the door.

"We're eating at the diner in celebration this evening," he announced.

"Great. Nothing like old times and grease," joked Sara.

"I've missed you too," said Nick as he chuckled.

Sara sipped on the iced water as she sat there sandwiched between Nick and Greg. She glanced up and saw Sofia and Grissom sitting off in a corner. Their heads were mere inches from one another as they talked.

"Looks like Grissom has it bad for Sofia," whispered Nick. "They're inseparable."

"I think he feels guilty for Sofia losing her position," explained Warrick.

"I heard she's thinking about transferring to homicide," added Greg.

Sara smiled inwardly at the thought but then she realized that personnel would not object to their relationship if they were no longer in a boss-employee relationship.

She groaned.

"Are you alright?" asked Nick.

"I'm fine," quaked Sara.

Nick nudged her.

"Hey, isn't that Hank Pettigrew, the paramedic that's sweet on you?" asked Nick.

Greg's eyes shot over to the entrance.

Sara leaned forward.

Hank caught sight of her and waved.

"Wave back Sara," ordered Nick as he pulled at her hand.

"Nicky, I'm going to…" she stopped when she saw him approaching.

"Hey Sara," called Hank.

"Hey, Hank," replied Sara.

"Have you ordered yet?" Hank asked.

"Uhm no," she stammered.

"Want to join me?" Hank asked.

All eyes darted to Sara.

"It's sort of a special occasion," explained Sara. "Our unit just got back together."

"I heard about that," said Hank.

"Hey Hank, I'm Nick Stokes," said Nick as he extended his hand. "Why don't you join us?"

Hank glanced around the table.

Nick quickly scooted away from Sara and made room for Hank.

He quickly took the spot.

Sara gulped down the water.

The waitress appeared and took everyone's order.

Sara jumped when Hank took her hand turning it over to examine the gash.

"That's infected," he declared. "I have something for that in my bag. I'll fix you up after dinner."

Sara nodded as she started to pull her hand back but Hank held it in place caressing the injured hand.

Catherine noticed the endearment and grinned.

"Could be good to have a paramedic around," advised Catherine.

"Sara is a regular walking accident," said Warrick.

"I am not," she protested.

"You can call me anytime," offered Hank.

Nick and Warrick exchanged smiles.

"This is much nicer than the first time I asked you to eat at the diner with me," said Hank.

The others looked at one another.

"Nick and I were working a decomp case and I smelled pretty bad," explained Sara.

"You smelled like death," added Nick.

"Yeah, well you did too," admitted Sara.

"I wanted to have dinner so bad with her but then when I found her in the lab and took one whiff…"

The others started to laugh.

Sara recalled the memory and laughed herself.

"I bought out all of the lemons from two stores trying to get rid of the stench," said Sara.

"So that's the reason I couldn't find any," complained Nick. "I had to drive thirty miles to find a grocery store with lemons. My car smelled for a month."

"Well, I think we should get reimbursed for the lemons," whined Greg.

"The next decomp is yours," advised Sara.

"What's so funny?" asked Grissom as he stood there with Sofia.

He glanced over at Hank sitting there beside Sara and could not help but notice he was holding her hand.

Sara refused to look at him.

"Just talking about decomp cases," replied Warrick.

"Now that's a dinner subject," laughed Sofia. "But I think I'll pass. I've got to get back and fill out some paperwork."

Grissom glanced at Sofia and followed.

"So Hank, you've got to come around more often and join in on these stimulating conversations," said Nick.

"I'll do that," Hank said.

He did.

Note from author:

Yeah, it didn't take long for the angst meter to move up a few notches…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

He showed up at the lab several times in the next few weeks. Grissom watched as the young man slipped notes or flowers or waited in the lobby for Sara to appear from the field. He took her hand each time and caressed the injured hand.

"You know it's healing," she said one day.

"I kind of like holding your hand."

Sara smiled.

Grissom's eyes shot downward as if he had not seen the exchange.

The young man worried him.

Sofia waved at the two standing in the hall as she walked up to Grissom.

"I need to talk with you," Sofia said quietly.

"Okay," Grissom said over his glasses.

"Since when did you decide that I needed to stay here rather than homicide?" she asked.

"I think you're making a big mistake," he reasoned.

"It's my mistake," she retorted with arms folded.

"Sofia…"

She started to walk away when he grabbed her arm.

"Have dinner with me," he pleaded. "Let me explain."

"What's to explain?" she asked. "Jim doesn't want me in homicide so he's blocking my transfer. You know I never thought he would hold our past against me."

"He's not," urged Grissom quietly.

Sofia started down the hall but stopped.

"Have dinner," he implored again.

"Dinner," she agreed and he smiled as she turned and left.

Sara stared at the floor.

She told herself it should not hurt to see them together but it did.

It still panged her that Grissom had chosen Sofia over her.

"Sara?"

She looked up to see Hank standing there.

"I'm sorry. Did you say something?" she asked.

"You could offer me a cup of coffee," he said softly.

"Break room coffee can be dangerous," she cautioned.

"I like to live dangerously," he admitted with a grin.

"I bet you do," she replied.

She sat there across from him at the table as he pretended to like the coffee. It was not from Greg's stash and she was sure that it was bad although she had not tried it yet.

"You know you could make up for this really bad coffee by letting me take you to dinner," he offered.

The invitation was there again.

She didn't know why she didn't accept.

It wasn't just any ordinary invitation and they both knew it.

They had tried earnestly the dating scene but it had been difficult with their schedules. When there was time, it was a few hours and talk and dinner and then an occasional kiss. She knew he wanted more but she wasn't ready. She knew she should put aside old dreams and yearnings but despite the current situation, there was only one man Sara loved and it wasn't Hank Pettigrew. She could learn to love him. He was nice and gentle and kind but above everything, he noticed Sara.

His hands quickly picked up hers and caressed the gash.

"Your skin is so soft," he whispered.

She watched as his hand continued the gentle massage.

"Have dinner with me," Hank said.

She imagined it was Grissom asking her.

She knew that would never happen.

"Have dinner with me," he said again.

She licked her lips at the havoc his touch was causing on her body. If she let it, she could easily become aroused but it was not a certain blue eyed bearded man she had come to yearn for. She felt her lips saying no but she stopped when she looked out and saw Grissom standing there with Sofia. Sofia's hand rested on his arm and she whispered softly to him. Sara could not make out the conversation and she was thankful for she knew it would no doubt cause her to lose her ability to breathe.

"Let's have dinner," she heard.

It was not from Hank.

It was from Grissom and she watched as Sofia tossed her hair back and accepted the invitation. She felt something cold settle around her heart.

"Yes," replied Sara. "I'd love to have dinner with you."

Hank smiled. "Great!"

Sara stared at herself in the mirror. She seemed self conscious in the dark red dress she had chosen. It was daring and yet it looked good on her as it hugged her slim waist. She smoothed down the front and realized how thin silk truly was to the skin. She contemplated changing but the knock on the door changed her mind.

He whistled the moment he set eyes on her.

"Nice…very nice," he said with a grin. "This calls for a nice restaurant…I know just the one."

She felt his hand in hers as he led her inside the restaurant. She had heard about the place. It catered to those who liked classical music, fine china and linens. She had often envisioned Grissom bringing her to such a place but knew that would never happen. She wondered where he would take Sofia.

She forced herself to think about her date.

"You like it?" Hank asked.

"Yes," she said.

They followed the young lady through the dimly lit restaurant. She slowed as she looked ahead and saw Grissom sitting with Sofia.

_Please don't let us sit near them…_

_Please don't let them notice us…_

_Please don't let him see how hurt I am at his choice…_

They sat down at the table across from Grissom and Sofia. Sara kept her eyes from them as she pretended she had not noticed them.

She cringed when she realized she was facing Grissom.

Their eyes locked.

Sofia smiled.

Sofia leaned over and whispered softly. "They've been seeing a lot of each other. It looks as if it's getting serious."

Sofia watched for his reaction.

Grissom took a sip of the wine.

His eyes remained fixed on his glass. "One could say the same about us but you know that we're just friends."

"We are?" she asked jokingly. "I'm crushed."

He chuckled.

Sara emptied half of the wine in her glass.

"Rumor around the lab is that we're an item," said Sofia.

"Rumor in the lab is that you're going back to Jersey if you don't get the transfer," said Grissom.

"You should pay attention to some rumors," said Sofia.

"Which one?"

"The rumor about a certain brunette dating a paramedic, when she's really in love with someone else."

Grissom finished off his wine as the waiter reappeared and filled it.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," lied Grissom.

"Gil, open your eyes. Sara was angry towards me for weeks because she felt threatened…now she treats me like one of the others."

"She just had to get used to you," replied Grissom holding the wine glass in his hand.

"She thinks we're together. She's moving on. If I were you, I would be worried. You know you wait too long and it could be too late."

It was Sara's voice he heard inside his head.

She had said almost those same words once.

He gulped the rest of the wine as he glanced in Sara's direction.

He watched as the waiter refilled Sara's wine glass and she took a sip.

_Am I too late Sara?_

Grissom emptied his wine glass.

Sara told herself to look away but she couldn't seem to tear her brown eyes from the glaring blue ones across the room.

He seemed upset.

She felt Hank's hand on hers as he opened the menu.

She did the same.

Her eyes looked over the menu and met his once again.

They were dark and cold.

_He probably thinks I set this up…_

_Followed him…_

She excused herself as she hurried to the bathroom. She had not even bothered to tell Hank where she was going but she was determined to escape Grissom's stare. She leaned against the sink and breathed in deeply.

_Don't look at him…_

_Just focus on your date…_

_Have fun Sara…_

_It's a nice diversion from work…_

_You deserve a life Sara…_

She splashed some water on her face as she stared at her reflection. She squared her shoulders and headed back to the table. She sat down and noticed the menus were now gone.

"I took the liberty of ordering for us," said Hank.

She wondered if he remembered she was a vegetarian but she didn't care. She didn't think she would be able to eat a bite.

The wine appeared before she could protest. She noticed Grissom was on his second glass. She lifted the glass and drank deeply averting her eyes to his stares.

"How's the wine?" asked Hank.

"It's fine," she responded.

"Would you prefer something else?" asked Hank as he grinned.

She tried not to notice that Grissom's glass was now empty.

She finished off the wine and then smiled at Hank.

"Scotch on the rocks," she replied.

It appeared instantly.

She almost choked on the first sip when the food arrived.

"Steak?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied with a smile.

Grissom's mouth curled into a grin and she wanted nothing more than to smack it off his face.

"That's very nice of you but I'm really not that hungry," said Sara.

Sofia glanced at Grissom. She leaned in closely to Grissom. "You could have helped the poor guy. You know she's a vegetarian."

"A man should know his date," replied Grissom.

"Really?" purred Sofia. "Then you should know I want to dance after dinner."

Grissom gawked at her and Sofia's laugh floated over to the next table.

The scotch disappeared.

She tried to pay attention to the conversation provided by Hank but she seemed destined to strain her ears in hopes of catching a few snippets of conversation from the other table. The food slowly disappeared. Sara managed to eat the vegetables but left the steak. Hank did not seem to mind as he tried to keep the conversation flowing.

"You seem a million miles away," commented Hank.

"I'm sorry. I guess I am a bit tired," she lied.

"Too tired to dance?" he asked.

She felt the blood leave her face as Hank stood and extended his hand.

She was not prepared to dance.

"Hank…"

"Lean on me," he whispered. "You probably weigh as much as a feather."

She felt his arms encircle her body as he pulled her tight into his embrace. Her body was crushed to his and for a moment she thought to struggle but soon relaxed when she knew that other eyes would be watching. She closed her eyes and rested her cheek next to his.

It felt good to be held.

Grissom covered his wine glass when the waiter returned.

He knew he was past his limit but he wanted nothing more than to order vodka as he watched Sara in the young man's arms. He had never seen her look more beautiful than she did at that moment. He had never seen her in red before and he wished at that moment she had worn anything but that color. The dress complimented her pale complexion and it hugged her curves deliciously. Red was definitely Sara's color. He wondered if she were wearing the red bra he had been fortunate to see in the locker room. His stomach knotted at the thought of a certain young paramedic who might just find out if her undergarments matched the dress on display.

"They look good together," whispered Sofia.

It tore at Grissom's gut when he had to admit that they did make a striking couple on the dance floor. His eyes were not the only ones on Sara as he glanced around the room.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me to dance," teased Sofia. "What was it you said about knowing your date?"

Grissom surprised himself by his boldness. He stood taking Sofia's hand and soon they were dancing next to the other couple.

Sofia cursed when her beeper went off.

"Sorry. I have to take this call," called Sofia as she disappeared.

Grissom started to head back to the table when Hank spotted someone from work.

"Sara, I need to talk with this person," Hank whispered.

Her eyes flew open.

"Of course," she replied not sure with what just happened. She started for the table when Grissom stepped into her path.

They stared at one another.

"May I?" he asked.

Note from author:

Oh my… can you imagine the sparks that are about to fly…including the angst…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

She swallowed the lump in her throat.

He did not wait for her answer as he took her into his arms and glided her across the dance floor. She felt dizzy from the motion and she was certain the drinks did not help. His body melted into hers and soon she felt her breast against his chest. His hand cupped her back and his heat radiated throughout her body. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply of his scent. She had never been this close before. She leaned into his body and her body tingled when she felt his breath on her neck. A slight moan escaped her as she imagined lying in his arms for the rest of the evening.

His voice brought her out of the daydream.

"I see you got a diversion," he seethed.

"What?" she asked.

"This paramedic…you finally decided to get a diversion."

"A diversion?" she asked.

"That's what he is, isn't he?" asked Grissom.

"You told me to get a life, I did…like you," she shot back.

"Did I?" he asked as he let go of her abruptly and returned to his seat leaving her to stand there alone.

She ordered another drink before Hank returned to the table. He sat down and stared at the drink.

"Good thing I drove," he chuckled. "By my calculations, you should be legally drunk."

"By my calculations, this is my limit so I'm going to enjoy it," she countered.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "I mean ever since we've been dating I've felt like I've been competing against some unknown guy."

"Guy?" she asked as her hand gripped the glass.

"I don't mind," he said quickly. "I just hope I don't disappoint you."

"You don't," she stammered. "I'm sorry I make you feel that way."

Sara glanced over at the other table and noticed Sofia's head was deep in conversation with Grissom.

She emptied her glass.

Grissom glared at her.

She defiantly asked for another and tipped it in his direction as she took a drink but set it back down when she felt her stomach revolting against the amount of consumed liquor.

"We should go while you can still walk," grinned Hank.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I'm not," he declared. His hand glided to her back as they made their way out of the restaurant.

"I'll have valet bring around the car," he said as he disappeared. Sara stood there as she heard Sofia's voice from behind. She glanced back briefly and noticed Sofia was on the phone.

"Got to go. Gil wanted me to come to his place for awhile. I have the feeling it's going to be an all nighter," she said as she flipped the phone off.

Sara swallowed the lump in her throat.

_He even invites her to his place…_

_He has his diversion and I have…_

"Are you alright?" asked Grissom to Sara.

She glanced up and seemed startled by his sudden appearance.

"I'm fine. Have a good evening with Sofia, your diversion," fumed Sara as she hurried past him and got into the waiting vehicle.

Grissom's jaw twitched.

He did not like the amount of alcohol she had consumed.

He wanted nothing more than to drop off Sofia and go to her apartment demanding to know what possessed her to drink the way she had.

Of course, he'd had his fair share but now by his calculations, the alcohol was no longer in his system while Sara was well past the stage of drunkenness although she did not appear to be intoxicated.

He also knew there were things he needed to discuss with Sofia that could not wait.

Sara leaned back into the car seat and listened to the soft music as his hand caressed her thigh. Any other time, she would have slapped the hand away but at the moment it was the only thing she felt.

It was good to feel.

She told herself to let herself feel his touch.

It was more than Grissom had offered.

He had danced with her only to go home with Sofia.

_They've been sleeping together…_

_He'll never love me…_

_He'll never take me home like this…_

_Brush his lips against mine…_

He was quite the gentleman as he took her keys and unlocked the door for her. They stepped inside and he locked the door.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her lightly on the lips. He was surprised when she deepened the kiss. It was usually Hank that initiated anything as intimate.

"Maybe I should go," he whispered.

"Not yet," she said as she held onto him.

She pulled her body up close to his needing to feel something warm and gentle as she felt the need to slide down into the floor in a flood of tears.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

She wasn't.

She had not been with anyone in years and yet now here stood a young man who had wined and dined her and she wondered what was wrong with her that she could not make herself feel anything for him.

She closed her eyes and forced back the tears.

_Let go Sara…_

_You can never have Grissom…_

She slowly shook her head.

She knew he was disappointed.

She watched as he left.

She slipped down to the floor and cried.

She didn't know why she couldn't bring herself to sleep with him.

She swiped at her eyes as she grabbed her car keys and fled the empty apartment. She stopped in the middle of the parking lot and knew she could not drive. She quickly called for a cab and stood there in the cool air letting it sober her.

She had no idea what she was doing but she needed to see him.

She paid the taxi driver and stood there now on his door step.

_Now or never Sara…_

She knocked on the door and waited for a response.

Several knocks later, the door slowly eased open and Sofia stood there in front her.

Sara's chest pounded loudly.

Sara could tell by the looks of Sofia's clothing, she had dressed in haste.

"Sara?" asked Sofia.

"I'm sorry…this can wait," she cried out as she took off down the steps.

"Sara wait!" called Sofia.

Sara disappeared down the street. She ran until she could not run anymore and then she slipped into a small coffee shop. She looked down at the red dress and knew she was overdressed. She slipped her phone out and dialed his phone number.

"Hank?" she managed to get out.

"Sara? Sara, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Hank asked.

"No I'm not," she cried. "I need you."

"Want me to come over?" he asked.

"I'm uhm not at home," she sniffled trying not to break down in the middle of a café.

"Tell me where you are," he ordered.

She rattled off the name and closed the phone.

Within minutes, he was sitting across from her.

"Red dress looks good anywhere," he said softly. "Come on, I'll take you home."

He was standing there once again in her apartment. He pulled her close and kissed her gently.

"Tell me what's wrong?" he whispered.

"Stay," she whispered as she guided him into the bedroom.

"Sara, are you sure about this?" he asked.

"No," she choked. "I just need this."

He crushed her body against his as he kissed her over and over.

Her head shot up from the bed and moaned from the sheer force of the effort. She groaned but became startled when her limbs came across another pair of limbs. She jumped up from the bed but then grabbed for coverage when she realized she was naked. Hank rolled over and patted the bed.

"I was going to let you sleep for another hour before waking you," he said. "I need to go but I wanted to say goodbye."

Sara stared at his naked body lying on her bed.

Visions of the previous hour slowly came back.

She slumped down on the edge of the bed.

"Sara, are you alright?" he asked.

"Uhm yes," she lied. "I just need to stop the banging in my head."

He grinned. "I think you need a few more hours of sleep but I'm afraid it will have to wait. You have to be at work soon."

She groaned and he laughed.

"Tell me you were sober when we came back," he said.

She was.

She had asked him to stay.

She had closed her eyes tight and pretended it was Grissom who held her as Hank made love to her.

She covered her mouth as she ran to the bathroom.

"I have a cure for that," he called out.

She reappeared an hour later freshly showered.

He sat there half clothed.

He pulled her into his arms as he sat there on her bed.

"God, you're beautiful Sara," he whispered. "Promise me you'll only wear that dress for me."

She intended to burn it the moment she felt like she was among the living again.

"I can't stay," he said. "I need to get back."

She didn't want him to stay.

She wanted him to leave.

It was an odd feeling.

She felt embarrassed for using him.

She felt the nausea returning.

He stood but pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

"I'll call you," he offered. "Maybe we can get to the diner during dinner break tomorrow?"

"Sure," she lied.

As soon as the door closed, she felt herself running back to the bathroom.

Greg stared at her as she finished off another cup of coffee.

"What happened to you?" asked Greg.

Sara said nothing as she held onto the coffee cup.

Grissom stepped into the break room and poured himself a cup of coffee.

He ignored her presence as he headed for the door.

"We have assignments," he called.

Sara tried to ignore the pounding in her head as she sat down between Nick and Greg in the conference room.

Sofia appeared taking her place beside Grissom.

Sara refused to react to the assignment.

"Any questions?" he asked.

Sara said nothing as she stood and headed for the door.

"Sara gets to be solo?" asked Greg.

Grissom did not reply as he headed out the door.

Sara changed into her overhauls as she headed out the door.

"Hey Sara," called Greg. "What kind of case…"

"Decomp," groaned Sara.

"Sorry," he crooned. "I was next. You want me to remind Grissom?"

She shook her head as she headed out the door.

Brass sat in his vehicle and watched as Sara examined the body of the young woman who had been left in the trunk of a car. She tried to keep from breathing as she looked at the contents in the trunk. She finished the job and quickly stepped away from the car rushing out into the parking lot.

She breathed in deeply but she felt the bile rise and she vomited.

Brass grimaced.

He remembered the feel of dry heaves.

He stepped out of his vehicle and waited until she was better.

He walked over to her and stood several feet away.

"I have a drink and some aspirin," he offered as he set the contents down on the pavement and stepped away.

"Thanks," she replied as she opened the aspirin bottle and downed a few while she finished off the water.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"No but then I won't be as long as I smell like death," she muttered.

"Grissom swears by lemons," he said.

"It helps," she admitted. "It's purchasing the lemons while smelling like this that is so difficult."

He chuckled. "I heard you had a date with Hank Pettigrew."

She eyed him. "Who told you?"

"I spoke with Sofia last night," he answered.

"At the restaurant or…" she stopped not wanting to know.

"I heard you were quite beautiful in the red dress," he said.

"I doubt Sofia mentioned the red dress," said Sara.

"No she didn't," he agreed.

She did not wish to know if it was Grissom.

"I better get back," she said.

"I'll drop off the lemons," he announced. "It's the least I can do."

She smiled. "That would be nice."

She grinned when she found a huge bag of lemons sitting by her locker. She spent the next hour washing over and over in the lemons. She was not convinced she had gotten rid of the stench but she wanted nothing more than to go home. She stepped into the locker room and was relieved to find it empty. She leaned against the cool metal and closed her eyes.

"Stench free?" asked Grissom.

She jumped causing her head to connect with the locker door and she cursed out loud as she held her head.

She felt warm hands suddenly on her body and she jerked away.

"Let me see," he said in a stern voice.

She froze as his hand rubbed the already bruised area.

"You didn't break the skin but there's going to be quite a bruise," he said.

"I bruise easily," she replied as she leaned back breaking the contact.

"Apparently so," he miffed as he disappeared.

She returned to the shower room and looked into the mirror.

A greenish blue bruise was already noticeable. Her eyes widened at the sight of the discoloration just below her collar.

_Oh God, I have a hickey…_

_He must have seen the hickey…_

_So what?_

_He sleeps with Sofia…_

_I sleep with Hank…_

Note from author:

I just love angst. Don't worry...a reprieve is on its way so hurry with the reviews....


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

Brass was waiting in his office when he returned.

He said nothing as Grissom slumped down in his seat.

"Get any sleep last night?" asked Brass.

"No," muttered Grissom as he stared absently at the wall.

"You should have called her," said Brass.

"And said what?" asked Grissom sadly.

"She showed up at your house and Sofia answered your door," said Brass. "I'm sure Sara thought the worst. I wanted to tell her myself that Sofia was there with me…not you but I felt it would be better coming from you."

"She made her choice," said Grissom barely above a whisper.

"If she made her choice then why did she show up on your door step? She wasn't given a choice. Look, everyone here in the building think you and Sofia are an item. Hell, I thought you two were an item until last night," said Brass.

"You've forgiven Sofia?" asked Grissom.

"If you'll forgive us about the guest room. We left it in a mess," said Brass.

"You didn't tell me why…"

"I'll share if you will," offered Brass.

"Personnel would never allow it," reasoned Grissom.

"Bullshit," sneered Brass. "You know that's a bunch of crock."

"Okay what happened between you and Sofia back in Jersey?" asked Grissom.

"Wouldn't you like to know," replied Brass getting up.

He turned and looked at Grissom. "I was waiting for the divorce to be final. I mean it had been over for some time. I was tired of the fighting and the name calling and the accusations. Sofia was put in my supervision. She was young and…I had no idea what she saw in a man my age but she did and at the time I just needed something so when she offered, I didn't hesitate."

Brass sat back down. "You know the very next day, Melinda shows up at my apartment with the pregnancy statement. I had never seen her so upset and scared. I mean we had tried for years to have a child and couldn't and then all of a sudden, there we are as the last few days of marital bliss was ticking away before the big D goes into effect and she's there on my doorstep telling me she's pregnant."

He leaned back and sighed. "I called my attorney, halted the divorce and stayed in my marriage. I wasn't sure whether the baby was mine or not but I couldn't walk out…not knowing for sure. Not a day went by that I didn't regret not explaining this to Sofia."

Grissom stared at Brass.

"I told her nothing. I pretended it never happened. She later found out I was back with my wife and we never spoke about it again."

They were both quiet.

"And you thought you were a bastard at times to Sara. I wrote the book," said Brass as he got up. "Don't make the mistake I did. If you wait too long, it may be too late."

Her body ached for sleep but she refused to give in. She had been able to avoid Hank by mentioning the decomp case. She was almost thankful Grissom had given it to her but then she knew he probably wanted to remind her who was in control. She pulled the robe around her as she slumped down on the couch and swiped at her eyes. She had done nothing but cry since she stripped the bed throwing everything in the washer and washing it over and over. She was sure there was no evidence to be found in the apartment except for the guilt she felt.

He banged on her door and he flinched when he saw her standing there in her robe.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" asked Grissom.

They both knew the answer as she stood there with red rimmed eyes.

Sara looked confused as she stared at him.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

She stepped aside and he quickly entered before she changed her mind.

"How is the bruise?" he asked as his hand gently reached out and touched it lightly.

"You didn't come all the way here just to ask me about my bruise," she said as she gritted her teeth trying hard not to tear into him.

"No, I didn't," he replied. "You came to the house…"

"That was a mistake," she stammered. "I had too much to drink and…"

"Am I too late?" he asked suddenly.

She stared at him.

"What did you say?" she asked not trusting her hearing.

"Am I too late?" he asked as his hand caressed her cheek.

Her chest began to pound and she was sure she was having a heart attack.

"Now? You come now!" she screamed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come," he said as he started for the door but she blocked it.

"If you've come just to…" she stopped as she tried to slow her heart rate.

"Sara? Are you alright?" he asked stepping forward.

"If you've come just to…please Grissom…no more games…please don't do this and then turn away…I can't…why are you here?" she grieved, swiping the tears from her cheeks and trying to sound strong but needing the door for support.

"Because I don't want to be too late," he admitted. "Am I too late?" he whispered as his hands cupped her face.

"No," she said sadly. "You're not too late."

He slowly stepped forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. He did not need to do anything more as she clung to him. Her lips found his again and this time he was plunging deeply until they were both left breathless. His hand caressed her back as the other slid down her side and she let a moan escape into his mouth sending them both into a frenzy. They struggled to find their way to the bedroom not wanting to release one another at first.

She grabbed his hand as she quickly led him to the bedroom. Sara threw back the covers thankful she had refreshed the bed with clean sheets. She grabbed his shirt and it fell to the floor as his hands busied with removing her clothing. She gasped when she felt his body on hers and soon he was inside her and she wrapped her legs around his waist and felt him moving slowly inside her. She opened her eyes and stared intently into his as he bent down and kissed her, plunging deeper and deeper until they were both on the brink. He hovered above her briefly as she arched her back to meet his final thrust and then he sank deeply inside her as he joined in the climax.

She gasped for air as she lay there beside him.

He propped up his head with his hand and stared down at her.

"I'm glad I wasn't too late," he whispered.

She burst into tears at that moment.

"Sara?"

"You could never be too late," she sobbed into his shoulder.

He felt helpless as she cried.

He bent down and wiped her cheeks with the palm of his hand and kissed her lightly.

"So sorry Sara…so sorry I've hurt you," he consoled. "I won't ever do it again."

He slowly made love to her again and again.

He grinned when she curled her body into his and slept.

She woke with a start when the alarm sounded.

She looked around the room and found it empty.

_It was a dream…_

She winced when she stretched.

_Not a dream…_

She felt hurt when she found herself alone. She sat up in bed and noticed the note on the other side. She grabbed it quickly.

_Sara,_

_I was called in on a case. I hated to leave you...couldn't bear to wake you so you could come also. _

_Next time…_

_Gil._

She smiled as she felt the tears drop one by one.

"It was a dream," she whispered. "A dream come true."

She showered and hurried to the lab. She frowned when she noticed he was still out in the field. She checked the board and told herself she could possibly still help if she drove out to the sight. She stepped out into the parking lot and was startled when warm arms grabbed her. She turned and came face to face with Hank.

"Hey," Hank whispered as he leaned in for a kiss but she gently pushed him away.

"I'm sorry. I know we shouldn't be doing this here but I've missed you," he said.

She stared at him and he stepped back.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"We need to talk," she said.

"That doesn't sound good," he replied.

He stared at her for several minutes.

"You've chosen this other guy over me," he said bluntly.

She nodded slowly.

"Sara, he didn't make you happy," he reasoned.

"I don't love you…I can't," she admitted.

"You could try," he said sounding hurt and angry.

"I've tried Hank. Believe me, I've tried," she agonized.

"Your timing sucks! You finally let me and…then you break it off…" he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away from the entry of the building. He let go of her arm when they were off to themselves.

"You were a mess after…look Sara, I think you've got cold feet when it comes to a commitment…believe me I know a thing or two about that…give it some time," he insisted.

She shook her head and he cursed out loud.

Sara stepped back and found her back pressed to the brick building.

Hank was silent for a moment before he suddenly stepped forward and she found herself pressed to the wall without a means of escape. She could feel the heat radiating from his body.

"Is there something that I did?" he whispered in her ear.

"No," she said. "I'm sorry Hank. I'm really sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

"You did," he said angrily. "You have no idea what you've done."

"What do you mean?" she asked not understanding.

His hand grabbed her wrist forcefully when she tried to step to the side and he slammed it against the brick building causing Sara to cry out in pain. His fingernails dug into her skin and she felt her hand ache. Her hand had hit at the corner of the building. She writhed from the pain but he tightened his hold making the bricks cut into her skin. She felt her skin as it was torn by the bricks.

"Hank you're hurting me," she cried out.

He looked horrified for a moment but then strong arms were pulling him away and he staggered back coming face to face with Nick.

His hand was jerked from Sara's wrist and she bit her lower lip concealing the pain.

"What the hell is going on?" yelled Nick.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why…Sara, are you alright?" Hank asked suddenly as he tried to take her hand but she stumbled back against the building cradling her arm.

"It's fine."

Nick glanced over and saw the blood trickling down Sara's hand and he grabbed Hank by the collar but Sara quickly stepped between them.

"Don't Nick. It's not what you think," pleaded Sara.

"Sara, let me take a look at your hand," offered Hank but Nick blocked him.

"Please leave Hank," ordered Sara. "I'm fine."

Hank stared at her for a moment but turned and left.

Nick whirled around quickly and looked at Sara.

"You're not okay," he said through clenched teeth.

"He didn't mean it," she insisted.

"Has he done this before?" asked Nick.

"No. I uhm broke things off with him…I hurt him Nicky," she blurted out, trying not to cry.

"Well, the only person I see hurt at the moment is you," he snarled as he gently looked at her arm. "Let's get you inside and take a look at those cuts."

As they stepped inside Nick suddenly stopped as he reached down and examined Sara's wrist.

"Sara, this could be broken," murmured Nick. "Maybe we should go to the emergency room and…"

She gently pulled away.

"Let's have Doc take a look at this. I know he's already here since I was going to meet him about some autopsy results."

"That's not necessary really," she said.

"E.R or Doc. Which is it?" he asked as he stood there with arms crossed.

Nick and Sara stepped into the morgue to the sound of hard rock blaring through Doc's stereo. He turned and smiled as he turned it off.

"Sorry. It's a great way to keep awake," he joked.

"Doc, could you take a look at Sara's wrist and hand?" asked Nick.

"Sure," he said as he motioned for her to sit down in the chair.

He lifted the wrist and glanced at Sara. "How did this happen?"

"Accident," she explained.

Doc glanced at Nick. "Sara, I've seen too many abuse cases to know that someone grabbed your wrist and twisted it. There's discoloration from the bruising…this happened recently."

Doc noticed the cuts made by Hank's fingernails as well as the cuts on the back of her hand. One cut was deep and continued to bleed.

"This wasn't an accident," declared Doc.

"It was an argument that got out of hand," insisted Sara.

"It was abuse," advised Doc. "The guy who did this grabbed your wrist and intentionally twisted it as he slammed her hand against something…a wall?"

"He's good," replied Sara as she winced from the pain.

"I wanted to kick his…" Nick stopped when Sara glared at him.

"Sara, this could be broken. Let me do an X ray and see."

She nodded slowly. She knew it was better than going to the emergency room. Minutes later, Doc pulled up the X ray and looked at it. He glanced over at Sara.

"Your wrist has been broken before," he said.

"Yeah…it has," she admitted. She glanced down at the wrist. "It's broken again. Isn't it?"

"Well, once you've had a breakage in that area, you're more susceptible to another breakage. Yes, it's broken…in two places."

"Bastard," yelled Nick. "You should have let me slug him. You need to press charges against that…"

"Nick don't," she insisted.

"Sara, you're going to need a cast," said Doc. "I can't do that here."

"Thanks Doc. At least, I know," she murmured as she cradled the arm.

Doc bandaged the cuts and then gently reexamined the wrist. "You should get this done soon. It's beginning to swell."

"Too bad it wasn't my right," she quipped. "I could have gotten out of a few reports."

"I'll drive you…" began Nick.

"You came in to work," she objected. "I can drive. I hear they have multicolored casts now. White was always dull. Maybe a bright pink or neon orange?"

"I get to sign it first," declared Nick.

She smiled as she slipped out of the chair and disappeared out of the room.

Doc looked at Nick. "I hope she's no longer with this guy?"

"That's what the argument was about. Sara was dumping him and Hank got pissed."

"The paramedic?" asked Doc.

"Yeah. Listen Doc. You think we could postpone this…"

"Go with her," instructed Doc. "And make sure she doesn't get the neon orange."

"Hey, Griss is out in the field but should be back soon. Could you tell him we might be late?"

Doc nodded as Nick ran off to catch up with Sara.

Grissom stepped into the lab with Greg by his side.

"Well, that was an interesting case," chuckled Greg.

"Well, it's definitely different," mused Grissom.

"Well, when I die I don't want to be caught dead in a dress and high heels."

"I don't think the vic wanted to either but he should have thought about that when he tried to run across an intersection with three inch high heels."

"Glad I never went out for any of that pledging stuff when I was in college," said Greg.

Grissom glanced at Greg.

"Okay, so I did a few things," admitted Greg. "Goldfish were harmless."

Grissom chuckled.

He glanced at the clock and smiled.

He knew Sara would be there by now.

"Greg, you get the honor of logging in the evidence," said Grissom.

Grissom stopped off at the front desk and grabbed his messages. He stopped when he saw a message from Doc.

He tapped on the old man's shoulder and he quickly leaned over and turned down his music.

"That was quick," said Doc.

"What was quick?" asked Grissom.

"I just left the message," replied Doc.

"I just got back," said Grissom.

"Nick and Sara may be late," explained Doc.

"Nick and Sara?"

"Nick is taking Sara to the emergency room…"

"What happened?" Grissom asked quickly.

"Sara's wrist is broken," answered Doc.

"How?" he asked.

Doc said nothing.

"Was she hurt here at the lab?" asked Grissom.

Doc sighed. "I shouldn't tell you this but they didn't tell me to keep it under wraps so I'm not. Sara broke it off with her boyfriend so he broke her wrist."

Grissom stood there expressionless.

"Hank broke Sara's wrist?"

"She said he didn't mean it but Gil, he meant to hurt her. He did a good job of it also. Twisted her wrist…"

He turned but Grissom was already out the door.

Note from author:

Happy Birthday Carol! I've promised Carol some extra chapters this weekend so please be kind and get in those reviews quickly.

Take care


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

"Now, maybe he'll do something," muttered Doc as he returned to work.

Grissom stepped into the emergency room and was relieved to see them sitting in the corner.

He breathed in deeply as he quickly walked over and stood there in front of them.

"Doc must have given you the message," said Nick.

Sara glanced quickly at Nick and then Grissom.

By his expression, she knew he had been told about the incident.

"Nick, you're needed back at the lab," said Grissom.

Nick looked at Sara.

"I can do this on my own. I don't need you to hold my hand," she insisted with a smile.

"Promise me you won't get the neon orange?" teased Nick.

"I promise," she said.

Nick pulled Grissom aside.

"Did Doc tell you how it happened?" asked Nick.

"Yes, he did which is the reason I want to talk with Sara," replied Grissom.

"I've tried to get her to press charges but she refuses," whispered Nick. "She said it was an accident."

"Maybe Brass can have a talk with Hank…explain a few things," offered Grissom.

Nick smiled. "I'll call him."

"Thanks Nick," said Grissom.

Grissom waited until Nick was out of sight before he sat down across from Sara and looked at her.

"I wish I could have stayed," he whispered.

"Me too," she replied.

He gently picked up the injured wrist and examined it.

He fumed inwardly as he noticed the textbook bruising along with the small cuts where Hank's fingernails dug into Sara's skin.

His hands caressed the area gently as he noticed the bandages on her fingers.

"Just a few cuts," she said as she gently pulled away.

"Sara…"

"He showed up at the lab. I thought it was best that I end it with him…because of us," she said. "He didn't mean to do this. It was an accident."

"That was no accident," Grissom seethed. "And you know it."

"I uhm hurt him," she said. "I didn't plan on hurting him but I couldn't pretend…not after we…you're not having second thoughts about us?" she asked quickly.

He moved over to sit beside her as he pulled her into his arms. "No."

She sighed out loud. "Good. I was afraid…I mean you've…Sofia…" she stopped when she heard her name being called.

They both stood.

"You don't have to stay. You should get back to the lab," she said. "I'm fine."

"And have to wait to see what color you choose for your cast? I'm staying. By the way, what's wrong with neon orange?" he asked.

She grinned. "Doc doesn't like it."

"I think it's bright and pretty," he said.

He watched as the technician put on the finishing touches to the cast. She leaned back ignoring the pain as Grissom held her other hand.

"Done," announced the technician. "It glows in the dark also."

Sara grinned.

They walked out of the hospital and Grissom glanced down at his watch.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "We're late."

He knew he had to go into the office.

"No working tonight," he ordered.

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"You're in pain and once you take the pain medication, you're going to be sleeping," he reasoned.

"I have to go in," she countered.

"Sara, we can handle anything that…"

"If I don't go in then it's going to appear worse than what it really is," she explained. "I'm coming."

He knew she was determined.

She stood there with arms folded and he recognized her stubborn stance.

He did not like the idea although he also did not like the thought that Hank might try to make a visit at her apartment.

"On one condition," he said. "You're not going out in the field. If the pain persists then you take the medication…and go home."

She ignored the stares as she stepped into the lab and picked up her messages. Greg stood in the hall and stared at the cast.

"I never knew you were a fan of the color orange," said Greg. "You know that glows in the dark."

"Yeah, I can't wait to try it out," joked Sara.

"Want to go find a dark closet? Just you and me?" he teased.

"In your dreams Greg," she whispered as she walked by but stopped and leaned over, "Find me in an hour or so…I know just the closet."

Greg swallowed hard. "You're such a tease."

Sara chuckled as she walked away.

Nick put his coffee cup down and stared at her as she walked into the break room and attempted to get a cup of coffee.

"Got the last cup," he said proudly.

"So nice of you," she miffed as she turned and he shook his head.

"You got neon orange. What happened to keeping your promise?" he asked.

"It glows in the dark," she explained.

"Really?" he asked. "Let's see."

"She already has a date with me and the utility closet," informed Greg.

"I didn't say which closet," she replied.

"You think I don't daydream?" he asked.

Nick and Sara laughed.

"Seriously, I want to see it glow," said Nick.

"It will have to wait. I'm on a mission for coffee," she announced.

"You're in luck. I was just about to make a fresh pot of my special stash," declared Greg.

Sara grinned. "You get to see the glowing cast first."

"You're so cheap," teased Nick. "I would have gone out and gotten Starbucks."

"Greg's is better," declared Sara.

Greg looked smug.

"Well, I get to sign it first," said Nick.

"Grissom signed it at the hospital," announced Sara.

Nick frowned.

She handed him a pen and he drew a picture followed by his signature.

Her smile faded when Sofia stepped into the break room.

"Tell me there is coffee," she moaned. She turned and looked at Sara. "What happened to you?"

"Just an accident," she said as Greg handed her a cup of coffee and she headed for the door.

"Greg, you're coming with me," ordered Sofia.

Greg groaned.

"I've got news for you. It's going to be a long night," advised Sofia. "Gil is waiting for us."

Sara glanced over at Sofia at the mention of Grissom.

"I've got to help Warrick," said Nick.

"What can I do?" she asked.

"I've got some evidence waiting to be reviewed," offered Nick. "You're welcome to take a look."

Sara smiled. "I'm on it."

"I have a report that's due also," called Nick.

"Forget it," grinned Sara.

"Just thought I would try," replied Nick.

She watched the others leave for the field.

Grissom hesitated at the door before walking out with Sofia.

Sara felt a bit of jealousy as she noticed Sofia chatting with Grissom as if nothing had happened.

_He hasn't told her…_

_He's probably waiting for the right moment…_

_What if he prefers her over me?_

_Stop it Sara._

_He wants you…_

_Not her…_

She glanced at the clock as she continued to process Nick's evidence.

She just needed to write down her findings and then she would be done.

Her arm had begun to throb and she noticed the swelling had gotten worse.

_Should have propped it up…_

_Let the swelling go down before attempting to use it…_

Sara leaned back in the seat and winced.

"Shouldn't you be home?" asked Brass.

She turned and quickly returned to work.

"I'm almost done," she said.

"Looks like you're done," he said.

He picked up her arm and examined the cast. "Nice color."

"Thanks," she said with a slight grin as she continued with her notes.

"Swelling is not going to go away unless you prop up that arm," he warned.

"I just need to finish these notes," she replied.

"Has he hit you before?" Brass asked.

She dropped her pen.

"They told you," mumbled Sara.

"I had a talk with Hank. He denies…"

"You had a talk with Hank?" she yelled.

"You think we're going to let some punk break…"

"It was an accident," she insisted.

"Bullshit," seethed Brass.

"What did you do?' she asked.

"I didn't hit him. I wanted to but I didn't. I did warn him to stay away from you."

"Jim, you shouldn't have…"

She winced when she hit her arm as she jumped up from her seat.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

"Hank did not mean to hurt me. This was my fault. I did this," she said.

"It's just you and me here. Sara, stop defending what your father did to you and your mother. He was abusive. So was Hank."

For a moment, she regretted divulging her past to Brass.

"I'm not," she said quietly. "I know what my father was. Hank is not like that. He didn't mean to hurt me and he was sorry as soon as he did it. My father was never sorry for hurting me."

Brass stepped forward. "You know that abusive spouses apologize after they calm down. It still doesn't excuse what Hank did."

"You had no right to talk with him!" she bellowed as she grabbed the evidence and began putting it away.

"I'm not going to stand around and let someone hurt you," he said.

"You're not my father," she preached.

He flinched. "No, I'm not but I care about you."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm not in an abusive situation…really. I broke it off with Hank anyway…which is the reason…let's just forget it."

"Go home," he said as he started to leave.

He turned and looked at her. "Grissom won't be home for a long time. Want me to drive you home?"

She looked at him strange.

"You think I don't know about the two of you?" he asked with a grin.

Sara said nothing.

He chuckled. "See you later kiddo."

Sara slumped down on the couch as she tossed her keys onto the table.

She had managed to wrap the cast so she could take a long bath.

She swallowed the pain medication and grabbed the blanket lying on the back of the couch.

She was asleep within minutes.

She jumped up when she heard voices coming from down the hallway as she glanced at the clock and groaned.

Yawning, she pulled herself up and grabbed her phone when she noticed she had missed a call.

It was from Hank.

She looked at the clock and wondered why she had not heard from Grissom.

_Maybe he's talking with Sofia…_

_Trying to end things…_

_She did not envy Sofia at the moment…_

There was a tap at her door and she stood on wobbly legs.

She hated pain medication.

She checked and hesitated when she saw that it was Hank.

He tapped once more.

"Sara…please open the door," he begged.

Sara slid the door open as the chain remained in place.

He looked down at the cast and flinched.

"So it's true," he groaned as he stared at Sara's arm.

"You shouldn't be here," said Sara.

"I just wanted to apologize," he explained. "Sara, I never meant…God I am so sorry."

His pained expression made her unhook the chain and open the door fully.

"Forget it. I'm sorry I hurt you," she replied.

"Hurt me? Sara I broke your wrist!" he cried.

"It's been broke before," she admitted.

He started to reach out to touch it but stopped himself.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked.

She shook his head.

"I'll reimburse you for any medical expenses…I can't believe I did this," he said running his hands through his hair.

"Hank, let it go. It was an accident," she reasoned.

"I didn't believe Brass when he came and…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know he was going to do that," she fumed.

"I deserved it. He threatened to…God, I can't believe I did that," he said. "Where is the break?"

She covered her arm.

"It looks swollen," he said. "Could I see it?"

She stepped aside and let him enter. She sat down on the couch and he took the seat across from the couch. He gently took her arm in his hand as he caressed her fingers.

"I'm sorry honey. You should prop it up…it will help with the swelling," he instructed. "Sara, with swelling like this….it broke in more than one place, didn't it?"

"Yes."

He cursed. His knees slipped to the floor as he knelt there in front of her. "I don't know what to say?" he choked. "I'm so very sorry."

"Hank, it's going to heal. Let it go," she said.

"Can I…hold you?" he asked.

She gently shook her head.

"I promise I won't hurt you," he vowed.

"Hank…we can't do this," she said.

"One last time, Sara. One last time and then I'll…"

His head dropped into her lap as his arms wrapped around her.

"I just wanted you to love me, Sara. I thought if I was patient, you would learn to love me…want me. When you called and I came to you, it scared me how much control this other person has over you…you were so hurt and…" he took a deep breath. "Tell me you didn't sleep with me because of the alcohol…tell me I didn't…"

Her hand stroked his hair.

His chest heaved and her stomach lurched.

Hank loved her.

He didn't hide his feelings nor did he seem to care that he now knelt at her feet begging for forgiveness.

"No. I wasn't drunk…you didn't take advantage of me…I took advantage of you…of the situation. I'm so sorry, Hank. I know how it feels to love someone but they can't return that love. Know that I tried. I really tried but I couldn't," she choked.

"Do you love him?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," she admitted.

"Does he love you?" he asked.

She didn't know.

He didn't push.

"If you ever need anything, call me," he said as he caressed her arm one last time.

He stood quickly and swiped his eyes on his sleeve.

She pretended not to notice.

She reached out and hugged him slightly but he pulled her tight against him. "Be happy Sara. Okay?"

She nodded as she hid her tears.

He quickly left as she sat there on the couch.

She didn't know why she cried.

She didn't love him.

She loved Grissom.

Perhaps it was the guilt she felt for using him.

She had used him to rid herself of the loss of Grissom.

She had even pretended it was Grissom who was making love to her.

She had not even given Hank a chance.

She told herself Grissom loved her.

He had to love her.

He had finally come to her.

She was startled when there was banging on her door.

She jumped up and opened the door to come face to face with Grissom.

Note from author:

I'm out of pocket for the next several hours so I am releasing another chapter. Please be on your honor and leave a review for each chapter.

Take care


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

Grissom sighed when he saw her standing there.

"I saw Hank leaving," he said heaving.

"You're out of breath."

"I took the stairs," he explained. "The elevator was stuck."

He stood there and saw that she had been crying.

"He was just apologizing," she explained.

He glanced around as if processing a crime scene.

"You thought he might have hurt me again," she stated.

"It would be a lie if I said I didn't," admitted Grissom.

"He wouldn't hurt me," she insisted.

Insecurity took hold of each of them.

She wasn't sure how to react to Grissom's odd behavior. He saw her as a victim. It made her uncomfortable.

He wasn't sure how to react to Sara's behavior. She saw Hank as guiltless. It made him uncomfortable.

He did not understand her need to defend a man who had physically and emotionally hurt her.

They stood there awkwardly until she motioned for him to sit and he took the couch, sitting where she had sat just a few minutes ago as Hank knelt at her feet.

She now sat in Hank's spot.

She wasn't sure why she needed the places to be reversed.

She only knew she longed to have Grissom profess his love.

It did not come.

Grissom leaned back on the couch.

"You look tired," she managed to get out as she cradled her injured arm.

"I am tired," he said. "We had a triple homicide. Sofia and I must have walked several miles following blood splatters…finally found the last victim in an alley."

Sara pretended not to care that Grissom had just spent the last several hours with Sofia.

_They were working a case…._

_Nothing more…_

She wondered when the jealousy and insecurity would leave.

"Greg was disappointed he didn't get back to try out the cast in the utility closet," teased Grissom.

"I'll reschedule," she replied.

She looked at him. "You should sleep."

"Gotten any sleep?" he asked.

"Ten hours," she announced. "Pain medication works wonders for insomnia."

He examined the injured arm. "This is swollen."

"I need to prop it up," she admitted.

"Sara, stay home," he said.

"And miss all the fun at work?" she teased.

It did not come out as playful but rather mournful.

Grissom leaned forward and she waited for the lecture.

It was sure to come.

He started to speak but stopped.

"Griss, what is it?" she asked.

"I'm worried about you," he said. "I don't think you comprehend the seriousness of Hank's actions."

"Wait. I know domestic abuse when I see it…perhaps even go overboard reacting to it but this was not abuse. He got angry…he never meant to hurt me."

Her arms folded in front of her and he knew she would have no part in anything he had to say.

He persisted.

"He took his anger out on you. He broke your wrist in two different places…Sara, that is abuse."

"If I hadn't been standing near the edge of the building…my wrist hit the edge…it had been weakened before….I broke it as a child," she protested.

"If Hank had not grabbed her wrist, shoved you against the building, causing your wrist to hit the edge…Sara, if this was a case…"

"I know Hank," she said. "That makes the difference!"

Grissom reached over and took her injured arm.

"These marks…these cuts…he used quite a bit of force to do this," cautioned Grissom. "Sometimes, we don't see the worst in someone because…"

"It was not abuse!" she declared quickly getting up.

A million questions flitted through his brain. He wanted to know if she still had feelings for Hank. He wanted to know the reason for the tears. He wanted to know why she still felt the need to protect Hank despite the cruelty he had inflicted.

"Let's not do this," she pleaded. "Hank is out of my life…because of you."

He couldn't bring himself to believe that.

He closed his eyes as his exhaustion caught up with him.

"I should go," he breathed. "I'm past exhaustion."

"You could sleep here," she offered.

"I have something I have to do," he replied.

His rejection caused a sense of uneasiness.

"Then I'll see you at work tonight," she said trying not to sound so disappointed.

They stood.

The awkwardness returned.

He startled her when he leaned in and kissed her.

It wasn't a soft peck on the lips but rather his hands cupped her face as his tongue demanded entrance. She moaned when his tongue darted in to meet hers and for a moment the throbbing wrist disappeared.

"We need to talk," he whispered as he gently pushed her back.

"I had something else in mind," she quivered.

"After shift…let's talk," he implored.

"Should I be worried?" she asked as she felt an odd sensation in the pit of her stomach.

"No," he said.

His answer still did not seem to ease the tension she felt.

She pulled her body against his.

He groaned.

"Sara…," he whispered. "I want nothing more than…"

He kissed her once more and then hurried out the door before he changed his mind.

She leaned against the door and groaned.

_Cold shower Sara…_

He worried when she did not show up early for work. He glanced at his watch once again and was tempted to call her but forced himself to focus on the reports.

He grabbed the assignments and headed toward the conference room when he spotted her rushing in the door.

He sighed.

She slowed once she saw him.

He met her halfway.

"I'm sorry," she breathed.

"You're not late," he retorted.

"But you were worried," she said.

"Yes, I was," he admitted.

She grinned despite his sense of uneasiness.

"I had to go back to the hospital."

She held up the new cast.

"What happened to the old one?" he asked.

"Too tight," she explained. "It was cutting off the circulation…causing the arm to swell and throb."

She held up the arm. "Much better!"

"I'm glad," he said. "Do I get to be the first one to sign this one?"

"Hank signed it," she said.

He stared at her.

"I ran into him at the hospital," she explained. "He's still mortified about what he did."

"He should be!" seethed Grissom. His voice carried down the hall.

His anger caught her by surprise.

She knew better than to try to pursue the subject with others in listening range.

They stepped into the conference room.

"Hey, that's a different cast," claimed Greg.

"Didn't like my drawing?" asked Nick.

"I didn't even get to sign the first one," said Warrick.

Catherine looked concerned. "I didn't even know about the cast until…"

"Could we get to work?" asked Grissom.

They took their places.

Sara sat between Nick and Warrick. Greg leaned over and drew a smiley face on the cast.

Sara grinned.

"Bubble bath ruin the first one?" whispered Nick.

"Too tight," replied Sara.

Sofia stepped into the room and sat down beside Grissom.

Sara pretended not to notice when she leaned in and whispered something to Grissom. His hand rested slightly on her arm before she pulled away as she sat back in her chair.

Sara said nothing as she was paired with Nick.

She felt her pulse quicken when he paired himself with Sofia.

"Any questions?" he asked.

_Why can't I work with you?_

_Why are you with her again?_

Sara stood and waited for Nick to look over the assignment. She glanced over and saw Sofia walk out of the room with Grissom's hand pressing against Sofia's back.

She breathed in deeply.

_It's nothing Sara…_

_Don't read anything into it…_

She was relieved when they finished up early. She emptied the bottled water and wiped her brow.

"How's the arm?" asked Nick.

"It's good," said Sara.

"I never thought Hank was the type that…"

"He's not," puffed Sara.

"Stay away from…"

"He's not going to hurt me," she declared. "He came by the apartment and…"

"Are you nuts?" he asked.

"No, I'm not," she stated. "It was an accident. Nick, drop it, please."

He said nothing more but packed up the evidence bags and loaded them in the Denali.

She finished the report and headed toward Grissom's office.

Her hand rested on the door that was ajar. She froze when she saw Sofia in Grissom's arms.

"You shouldn't feel threatened," said Grissom.

"I am. Look, I don't mind sharing. Believe me I've done my share in my lifetime but…"

"Stay at the townhouse," he whispered.

"Okay, if you feel you can talk with her. Get her to accept me…I mean I'm not going anywhere," said Sofia.

"I wouldn't expect you to," assured Grissom. "Can I talk you into cooking something for dinner?"

"I think I have a few sheets to wash," she said. "We left quite a mess. Of course, we were interrupted when Sara showed up on your doorstep."

Sara stepped away from the door. She clenched the report in her hands as she struggled to breathe. She hurried to the front desk and slammed the report into his basket.

"That must have been some case," chuckled Judy. "Hey, what happened to your…"

Sara clocked out and quickly left.

She slammed the vehicle into reverse as she fumed.

_If he thinks I'm going to share…_

_No wonder he was attracted to Lady Heather…_

She ignored her phone when it rang.

It stopped but then started again.

She glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Grissom.

"You left without coming by," he said.

"I left the report at the front desk," she quipped.

"Sara? Are you alright?"

"Just great," she seethed.

"Is it too late to get something to eat?" he asked.

"Yes, it is. It's too late for a lot of things," she yelled as she closed the phone and threw it into the passenger seat.

Grissom sat down at his desk.

_What did I do?_

The warm bath did nothing to calm her nerves as she paced the apartment. She kicked off her shoes and replaced them with running shoes. She opened the door and came face to face with Grissom.

"Going somewhere?" he asked.

"I'm going for a run," she said.

"Can it wait?" he asked. "I'm too tired to chase after you."

She said nothing but stood there.

He knew she was mad and hoped he could come to the bottom of the problem before he passed out from exhaustion.

"I thought we were going to talk," he said.

"Fine. Let's talk," she shot back motioning him inside.

He waited until the door closed to begin.

"Want to tell me why you're so angry?" he asked.

"Want to tell me what it is you have to talk with me about?" she asked.

He sighed out loud. "Mind if we sit? I'm pretty tired."

They sat down.

"Sara, what happened between you and Hank…"

Sara groaned. "Accident. It's over. It's never going to happen again."

"You should have pressed charges."

"You're trying to make him into a monster and he's not," she declared. "Give me some credit for dating a decent guy while you refused to even give me the time of day!"

"I couldn't," he confessed. "This is still not easy, Sara."

"Only because you want to make it difficult," she countered.

"Let's not fight about the past. I can't change that. I don't want Hank around you."

"Hank is sorry for what he did. He would never…"

"I've asked Jim to run a background check to see…"

"What?" she yelled as she stood there in front of him.

"He could have done this before. Sara, you don't know…"

"This is getting blown completely out of…"

"Hank is not the person you think he is," warned Grissom.

"You don't know Hank…"

"I know he likes seafood. I know he frequents a certain restaurant outside of Vegas. I ran into him a few times with…another woman."

Sara stood there with her arms folded.

"It was probably someone he works with. I went out lots of times with Nick and Greg."

"Sara, I don't like having this conversation but I think we need to clear the air about the last few months."

"So you want to accuse Hank of cheating on me so I won't see him anymore? I broke it off Grissom."

"I just want you to be careful. We see the end results all the time in domestic…"

"Don't. Okay just don't say anything further. I tried for years to get you to accept this between us but you just pushed me away. When I saw that you had moved on, I did too. Hank is a nice decent guy. We dated for months. He never hurt me. Just when I thought I was finally starting a new life with someone, you show up on my doorstep. Do you have any idea how long I waited for you to do that? I chose you the moment you asked me if it was too late. I realized it would never be too late. I slept with you. I chose you Grissom. I broke it off with Hank. He had a right to be angry. He was hurt. Do you know what it feels like to be hurt?" she yelled. "It was an accident. I will not have you attacking him…"

"I'm not attacking him. We can't move forward…I need to know if you have any feelings for…Hank," he said quietly.

She looked at him strange. "I slept with you. I never would have…" she stopped.

She had slept with Hank when she had feelings for Grissom.

"What about Sofia?" she asked in defense.

He leaned back into the couch. "Sofia is a friend and nothing more."

Sara scoffed.

"I'm glad we're clearing the air," he said. "Sofia is in love with Jim."

Sara felt the color drain from her cheeks.

Note from author:

I'm afraid Sara is about to realize how deep her mistake was....


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

"Jim and Sofia knew one another years ago in Jersey. Jim was her supervisor. His marriage was coming to an end….it was just days before the divorce was final. He slept with Sofia. His wife showed up telling him she was pregnant."

"Jim told me he stopped the divorce because of the pregnancy," whispered Sara.

"His wife found out about Sofia. She paid a visit to Sofia and threatened to expose them. Jim stood to lose his job. It would also not go well during the custody battle he anticipated if the divorce became final. Sofia agreed to switch to another unit and Jim stayed in the marriage until the fighting escalated," explained Grissom. "He didn't like how it was affecting Ellie."

Grissom sighed.

"Jim has been trying to get up the nerve to see if Sofia still cared for him…she does. It seems the two would never come out and admit their feelings."

He glanced at her with a slight grin.

"When she was going to transfer to homicide, I knew it would put them back in the same position again."

"Boss and employee," breathed Sara.

"Yes. Jim confided in me about his feelings for Sofia. She did the same. I finally invited them both to the house…after I sort of got him jealous…he wanted to kick my ass," said Grissom. "They've been sneaking around seeing one another…staying at my house."

"Why the secrecy?" asked Sara.

"Ellie. She's been staying with Jim. Jim and Sofia had their own doubts about whether they could work things out," said Grissom. "They've been meeting at my house to avoid Ellie."

He leaned forward. "Sara, the day you showed up on my doorstep, I must admit I was passed out drunk. I couldn't get the sight of you and Hank out of my head."

"You never slept with Sofia?" asked Sara.

"No."

She thought she would be sick.

"Sara?"

"I uhm dated Hank because I thought you were with Sofia."

"I know. Sofia and Brass kept warning me I needed to do something before it got too serious. One look at you in the red dress told me I was running out of time. Was I too late?"

She wanted to stop breathing.

She had thought the worse and had done the unspeakable.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said softly as he reached out and wiped away the wetness on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I thought…"

"Sara, you don't owe me an apology," he said. "I would appreciate a cup of coffee."

She quickly got up and hurried to the kitchen. He watched as she hid her face from him. She swiped at her cheeks and returned within minutes with a cup.

"Greg gave me some of his stash," she said.

He drank the coffee as she sat there staring at the floor.

"You're quiet," he said.

"It's just…you and Sofia…"

"I wanted Jim to think that Sofia was interested…he did. He finally cornered me and asked me if I was sleeping with her," he said as he finished the coffee.

"You look tired," he said.

"I am," she whispered.

"I should go," he said. "Shift will start in a couple of hours."

He stood but she remained there seated in the chair.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

He looked down at her cradling the arm.

"Get some sleep. Stay home," he stressed. "Just for a night."

"I uhm might do that," she said quietly.

Her reply worried him.

She stood now and followed him to the door.

He had hoped she would have invited him to stay but he knew she was still sorting out everything he had told her.

He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.

There was a sense of sadness about her that brought out his own insecurity.

"You okay?" he asked.

Her hands cupped his face and she kissed him deeply this time.

"Yeah, I am," she lied.

"Call me later," he said. "I won't expect you in tonight."

She said nothing as he headed out the door.

He turned one last time but she had already shut the door.

_Maybe she doesn't want to admit she has feelings for Hank…_

_Maybe we should take this slow…_

He didn't know if he should feel relieved when she showed up for work. They saw little of each other as she threw herself into her files. They were about to head home when the call came in that a car had slammed into a coffee shop leaving several fatalities.

She froze when she saw Hank working at the scene. She took one look at his wrist and knew that he had been one of the victims in the shop.

She quickly came up to him.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah," he sighed as he continued to help the injured. She stepped aside and noticed Grissom staring at her.

She turned her back and began assessing the crime scene.

Grissom pulled her aside.

"You and Catherine can handle this," Grissom instructed.

"You're leaving?" she asked.

"I have to. I have gas," he replied.

She tilted her head and looked confused.

He grinned slightly. "Gas leak across town."

He glanced over at Hank and then left.

Sara watched as the medic began to wrap Hank's wrist but she dismissed the medic and took over.

Hank glanced around. "You shouldn't do that," he said softly. "Not after what I did."

"Accident…like this," she said looking around.

"Yeah, well this accident just killed several lives," he said. "I mean one minute I'm drinking coffee and then the next bodies are flying through the air and people are screaming."

He glanced at her and pulled his arm away. "I'm fine. Thanks for caring, Sara."

She nodded slowly as he walked away.

She worked with Catherine as they tried to determine why the elderly woman drove her car into the coffee shop.

Sara stared at the seating chart.

She did not recognize the name.

She knew Catherine already suspected something but she said nothing.

She had no idea why she needed to see the woman. She was there on official business. She was also there to see if the woman knew about her.

She stared at the photo on the table while the woman attempted to provide some information on the health insurance coverage for the elderly woman who had been driving. The photo was recent.

She glanced at Sara.

"That's my fiancé," she said with a smile.

It was Hank.

Sara swallowed hard.

_Grissom was right…_

By the end of the day, Sara wanted nothing more than to grab a drink.

Hank had been cheating on her.

She was surprised to find him waiting for her when she returned to the lab.

As soon as Hank walked toward her, Nick was suddenly there.

"Can I talk with you?" asked Hank.

Sara glanced at Nick as he shook his head but she ignored the warning, stepping outside into the parking lot.

Nick cursed.

"I heard you met…"

"Yes, I did," she said with arms folded.

"I don't know what to say," said Hank.

"Then don't say anything," she snapped as she started to walk away.

He grabbed her arm but quickly let go.

"I want to explain," he began.

"No need," glared Sara.

"Sara, you deserve an explanation. It was what I was trying to give Melissa today when that car came crashing through the coffee shop."

Hank leaned against the building.

"I'd been dating Melissa on and off for several years. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to settle down. I loved her but…Melissa can't have children. I couldn't decide if I wanted to give up that dream…it affected our relationship. We had fights about it…I finally proposed but then you suddenly came into my life and I wasn't so sure anymore. Melissa and I had a fight and I decided to postpone any plans for the wedding. She wanted to make things work so we went on that trip."

"You said you were visiting relatives," scolded Sara.

"It was one of many lies. The trip didn't help. I came back here and all I could think about was you. When I was with you, I always felt that there was someone you cared about. You never said anything and I…I didn't want to know. I just knew I was falling in love with you but you…you never gave me any indication that you might have the same feelings until…I was about to give up and then you gave in. The next day I broke it off with Melissa. I told her I was finished with the relationship."

"But then I broke it off with you," added Sara.

"I guess I deserved what I got. I hid it from both of you. I love Melissa but I love you more."

"Don't," warned Sara.

"Sara, I'm not excusing what I did. I was engaged and sleeping with Melissa while I was trying to get you to love me."

"You don't know what love is," declared Sara.

"You're probably right. I do know that I never hurt so much than when you ended it with me. I think I know what love feels like now," he said sadly. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I can't even forgive myself."

"You didn't waste any time getting back with Melissa," replied Sara.

"I wanted her to know the truth. I was going to tell her about my infidelity but then the car came crashing through the building and all I could think about was protecting her. I love her Sara. I didn't know how much until I almost lost her. It's funny how death can make things so crystal clear. I'm still going to tell her. I owe her the truth. You know she said the reason why she didn't want to push me into a relationship was because she couldn't have children and she knew how important that was to me."

"If you love someone then that shouldn't matter. There are other options," said Sara.

Hank glanced up when the back door opened and Grissom stood there.

"I should go," Hank said. "I'm sorry."

"Hey Hank," called Sara.

"Yeah?"

"Please don't come around here anymore. If we run into one another…let's not."

He turned and left.

Sara leaned against the building as she closed her eyes.

Suddenly she could feel Grissom standing in front of her.

"You okay?" he asked.

"You were right," she admitted. "He's been engaged for months while he's been dating me."

"I'm sorry," he consoled.

"Not as much as I am," she snorted.

She shook her head. "I do feel like a fool."

"You're my fool," he whispered.

She nodded as she slowly began to cry.

The tears unnerved him.

It was the second time she had cried over Hank.

His insecurity surfaced once again causing him to keep his distance.

"Go home," he said softly.

"After I finish my report."

He nodded as he headed back in.

She brought the file to Grissom's office and was surprised when she found Nick there.

She placed the report on Grissom's desk.

His eyes glanced up at her.

She knew he was still angry for agreeing to talk with Hank.

"Nick…"

"I don't want to ever have to say 'I told you so'…understand?" he asked as he glared at her.

"Perfectly," she stated. "Thanks Nicky…for caring."

He stared at her report as she turned.

"Heading home finally?" called Nick.

"Yeah, I am," said Sara.

"Griss left about an hour ago," he relayed.

She tried not to react.

"I don't think he's been sleeping very well," explained Nick.

Sara nodded slowly as she headed home.

Sara had just settled into bed when her phone rang.

It was Grissom.

"You should be asleep," she scolded softly.

"So should you," he countered.

"Just getting into bed now," she replied.

There was a silence.

"You're worried that someone is going to find out about us," she reasoned.

"It'd be a lie if I said I wasn't," he admitted.

"I'll transfer," she offered.

"Do you want to?" he asked.

"I want this to work," she breathed. "I don't want you to risk…"

"Sara, I want us to go slow," he began.

She felt the tightness in her chest.

"Sara?"

"You're uhm not sure about us," she stressed.

"I want to do this right," he explained.

_He's backing out…_

_Trying to find a way…_

"I get it," she sighed.

"What do you get?" he asked.

"I get it that you had a moment of weakness and now you have regrets. You don't want to be with me. You…"

"That's not true!" he stormed. "Sara, I'm not used to this."

"Is it so hard?" she begged. "Is so hard for you to want to be with me?"

"This isn't coming out that way I planned," he sighed.

"How did you want it to sound? Did you want me to say that I've changed my mind? Do you want me to break it off so you don't have to?" she fumed.

"Do you feel like that? Have **you** changed your mind?" he asked.

She knew her heart was on the line.

If she said no and he broke it off, she knew he would surely break her heart.

The silence was impalpable.

His chest heaved and he was about to hang up when he heard a soft sob.

"I've never been so sure in my life," she admitted. "I've been waiting…"

"Have dinner with me?" he interrupted.

She tried to compose herself. "What?"

"You once asked and I said no. I wanted to say yes Sara. I'm asking you this time. Have dinner with me," he begged.

"Couldn't you just come over," she pleaded.

"I want to take you to movies, to dinner, to find out what you like or dislike," he explained.

"You already know those things and I don't need movies or dinners."

"You spent several months getting to know Hank. I want to do that," he crooned.

"And yet I didn't really know him," she sighed as she gulped back the tears.

"I'm selfish," he said softly. "I don't want to share any part of you. I want to be sure that you're really finished with Hank."

"I am!"

"Then why the tears? Why the hurt? " he asked feeling his own disheveled feelings.

_Because I slept with Hank…_

_It was just sex…_

_I wanted you and settled for Hank…_

"I don't have feelings for Hank," she sputtered as she rolled over on her stomach and clutched the extra pillow.

"Good," he replied. "I won't share. I'm very needy and I like my privacy but you should know all of that already…right?"

She didn't know.

Okay, she knew about the privacy part.

She was a private person also.

He didn't seem like the needy type.

He certainly didn't need anything she had to offer over the years.

"Griss?"

"Yes?"

"You could come over," she offered softly.

"If I came over, neither of us would get any sleep and I don't want to repeat what happened a few days ago."

"So you do regret that we…"

"No Sara. I regret that everything else has happened. I want to start fresh. Leave everything behind us. You understand?"

"Yes," she lied.

"Sleep well. I'll see you a few hours…for our first date."

She clung to the phone even though he was no longer on the line.

She used the pillow to stifle the frustration.

Note from author:

Continue with the reviews...I am enjoying reading each and every one.

Take care!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Their first date consisted of an out of the way restaurant followed by a walk.

Both seemed a little off as they sat there in the restaurant together.

They were not used to being alone.

The conversation seemed to drag.

They fared better on the walk.

The conversation picked up as they made their way along the path.

She glanced around and noticed there was no one else around.

"We uhm seem to be alone," she said.

He glanced around and smiled.

"Not many like this path because it's not well lit," he admitted.

"Should we…" she stopped when his hand slipped into hers.

She figured it was worth the risk if he intended to hold her hand.

"I'm going to apply for the swing supervisor job," she announced.

"Good."

"Does Sofia want the position also?" she asked.

"She seems content…with Jim," he said with a smile.

Sara returned the smile.

She started to take the lead down the path when his hand pulled her back.

She turned and found her back pressed against a tree.

Within two steps, his body was pressed against hers. His kiss was forceful and delicious. He tried to pull away but she pulled his body back against hers.

"Thank you for dinner," she whispered. "And the walk."

"I guess you now know how old fashioned I am," he said.

"Old fashioned?" she asked.

"I kind of like courtship," he said with a slight grin.

"What does it involve?" she asked.

He leaned in, taking her lips once again.

"I uhm like this courtship thing also," she said.

"Good," he said. "Because it's just begun."

He kept up the courtship.

They tried to sneak in as much as possible but enjoyed working doubles together.

She waited for him to initiate anything but he kept his distance.

Of course, there were the heavy bouts of kissing followed by fondling followed by cold showers.

She sighed as he left her leaning against the wall breathless.

"Griss, don't leave," she begged. "We've been doing this for weeks now."

"I'll see you at work," he said as his hand rested on the door handle.

"Fine," she said soundly rejected.

"Sara…"

"I understand," she sniffled.

"Do you?" he asked.

"You want me to say it? Fine. You don't feel the same as I do."

"How do you feel?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and he could feel her frustration.

"I love you Grissom. I've loved you before the dinners and movies and walks and…"

He was there instantly as he took her in his arms and kissed her taking her breath away.

"I've been waiting for you to say that," he whispered.

She felt her feet being lifted from the floor as he carried her to the bedroom. His body soon covered hers as he unclothed her. Soon they were lying flesh to flesh. She arched her body toward his and he entered her slowly.

"Say it again," he whispered.

"I love you," she panted as she urged him to go deeper.

He plunged and she moaned into his neck as he kissed her.

She woke with a start and jumped when she felt his body next to hers.

She rolled over and saw that he was watching her.

"Hey," he said softly.

"How long have you've been awake?" she asked.

"An hour or so," he replied.

She kissed him on the shoulder blade and he found himself wanting her again.

He rolled over on top of her.

"I have the night off," he announced.

"I don't," she pointed out.

"You could call in…sick," he schemed.

She grinned. "That wouldn't be fair."

He glanced at the clock. "I think we have time before you…"

She was already kissing him as he made love to her.

She logged in the evidence once she returned to the lab and finished her report.

She looked up to see Nick standing at the front desk.

He smiled when their eyes met.

"You've been busy tonight," he commented.

"Just finished," she announced.

"Want to get something to eat at the diner?" he asked.

"Yeah, that would be nice," she replied.

They sat there with the others as they waited for the food.

Sara leaned back and closed her eyes.

"Someone is tired," said Warrick.

"The food better hurry up and get here…" Sara stopped as she felt the first wave of nausea hit her.

"You okay?" asked Greg. "Cause you're turning green."

She scrambled from the seat and rushed to the bathroom.

She heaved again and again until she was convinced she would soon see the lining of her stomach.

She returned shortly and sat down but soon found herself feeling the same nausea return.

"Nick, if you've given me that damn stomach virus," warned Sara as she closed her eyes and tried to hold back the nausea.

"I told you that was my coffee cup sitting on the table," he warned.

"Sorry guys," she pleaded as she got up and left.

She curled up in the bed as she hugged the pillow against her stomach.

She wanted to throw the alarm clock into the floor when it continued to sound off. Her hand slammed on the button and rolled over in hopes of catching a few more minutes of sleep but suddenly she was rushing to the bathroom.

She sat there on the edge of the bathtub as she tried to calm her stomach.

She gasped from the dry heaves.

This was not good.

Alarm bells went off in her head as she counted back in her head.

She shook her head back and forth as she sunk down into the bathroom floor.

_Don't panic Sara…_

_You've been late before…_

_Hell you've been late plenty of times…_

_But never sick and tired and so very tired…_

_Shit…_

She stared at the plain white stick and felt herself slowly fall apart.

She told herself it was a false positive.

She had used the patch.

She wasn't prepared for this.

She glanced at the clock.

She dressed in record time and hurried out the door nibbling on some crackers as she drove quickly to the doctor's office. She asked for the doctor by name and waited in the corner. A head popped out and motioned for her. Sara stepped into a room.

"Peggy, thanks for seeing me on short notice," said Sara.

"This is a surprise…taken the test and it's positive?" she asked.

"Yes it is," replied Sara.

"Okay. Let's run a few tests and take down some information," said Peggy.

Sara sat there as Peggy rattled off information about the first trimester.

"This can't be happening," shrugged Sara. "I was on the patch."

"You're pregnant."

"But…"

"Sara, the patch can only last…"

Sara was no longer listening as she felt another wave of nausea hit.

"Sara, I know you but I have to ask. Do you want to have this baby? It's still early and I can schedule you an appointment at the clinic," offered Peggy.

"No."

She sat there holding the prescriptions in her hand.

"I guess I'll be seeing you a lot more often," said Peggy as she patted Sara's knee.

"Peggy, tell me the nausea will go away," moaned Sara as she leaned over and aimed for the trash can.

"Yes, it will," chuckled Peggy. "But then the fun really begins then."

He watched her as she seemed out of sorts. She had made three trips to the break room for coffee but had returned empty handed. He was curious about her behavior and tried not to hover but her actions were driving him to the brink of impatience.

"Is there a problem?" asked Grissom.

"Problem?" asked Sara.

"You keep going to the break room but not getting anything."

"Oh. Old habits. I'm trying to give up coffee."

Greg chuckled from behind and nudged Nick. "Oh there's a scary thought. Can you imagine Sara without coffee?"

"Not if I want to live," quipped Nick.

"I'm so not listening," whined Sara.

"Yes, you are," chided Greg. "Just smell the aroma."

One whiff sent her running for the bathroom.

"What did I do?" asked Greg.

"I think she's sick again," said Nick.

"I think she's been working too many doubles," added Warrick who joined the others.

Sara stepped back out and returned to her case.

"The guys said you were sick last night," Grissom said quietly.

"Nick shared his stomach virus," replied Sara.

"You want to leave?" he asked.

"I'm good," she said.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked.

"I'm good…miss coffee…but I'm good," she pouted. Her beeper went off and she headed off in search of the lab results from Hodges.

She stopped when she felt him following.

"Do you mind?" she asked.

He said nothing as she turned and continued on her way. She looked at the piece of paper and smiled. She handed Grissom the results and he smiled. "Another case closure."

Sara's smile faded.

She gulped in air.

She covered her mouth as she leaned over the first trash can and vomited. She felt a cool paper towel being placed on her forehead followed by a cup of water.

She leaned forward but felt another wave.

"Still sick?" he asked.

She nodded as she rushed off to the bathroom.

She groaned as the nausea finally subsided. She reached into her pocket and took some medicine as she waited for it to take effect.

Catherine stuck her head inside.

"You alive?" she asked.

"Still have a pulse so don't call for David or Doc just yet," she groaned.

"Stomach virus is going around. Lindsey came home with it a couple of days ago," advised Catherine.

"Just swell," moaned Sara.

"Good news is Grissom wants you to go home…something about infecting the unit and no trash can is safe around you."

"So kind of him," muttered Sara.

Sara stepped out of the bathroom and Nick glanced at her.

"You've got the stomach virus," he announced. "I'm sorry. When I had it, I spent most of the time bowing down to the porcelain God."

"Thanks Nick," griped Sara. "I look forward to it."

"Sara, go home," demanded Grissom.

She would if she had the energy.

He watched as she headed down the hall.

Sara stepped outside and leaned against the building.

She turned when she heard the door open and Grissom stepped outside.

"I'll take you home," he offered.

"Not necessary," she said. "Besides, you don't want to catch this."

_Please Grissom don't push this…_

_I need time to think…_

"Are you sure?" he asked.

She mustered up enough energy to relinquish her hold on the wall.

"I'll see you soon," he said.

"Griss?"

"Change your mind?"

"I love you," she whispered.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked.

"I threw up in your trash can," she confessed.

"I'm honored," he snickered.

"I also threw up in Hodges, Greg's and…the trash can in the break room."

"Did you ever make it to the bathroom?" he teased.

"Of course…straight to the porcelain God," she called as she drove away.

She left the window down and let the air blow into her face.

It seemed to help.

She crumbled into bed as soon as she got home.

_What am I going to do?_

_I don't know if it belongs to Hank or Grissom…_

Note from author:

Yeah....major angst.... by the way there are 24 chapters....


	10. Chapter 10

**Note from author:**

Last chapter for the night folks! Leave a review...

**Chapter Ten:**

Grissom knocked several times and then called her when she did not answer.

She rolled over and grumbled when she saw what time it was.

She wrapped the housecoat around her and made her way to the door.

He cringed when he saw her.

"You don't look well," he said.

"Thanks," she said as Grissom stepped inside.

"I brought you some soup," he offered.

The aroma should have smelled appetizing but it only made her cover her mouth.

"I'll put it in the fridge in case you change your mind," he said.

She let him take her into his arms for a moment.

"We uhm need to talk," she quivered.

He stepped back for a moment and looked at her.

"This sounds serious," he said.

"It is," she admitted gulping through bouts of nausea.

"Can it wait…until you're better?" he asked. "Sara, you're white as a sheet."

"No," she whispered. "It can't wait."

He sat down on the couch as she took the seat across from him.

"I uhm been using the patch," she began. "It uhm…I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

He stared at her.

"You're sure?"

"Two pregnancy tests…one here and one with my doctor," she said.

He sat back. "Morning sickness rather than stomach virus?"

"I wish it was the stomach virus and then at least I'd know it would be gone in another day or so," she groaned.

He nodded.

She did not know how to take his silence.

"Gil?"

"I'm processing this," he replied.

"Look, I thought you should know. I'm not asking you…" she gulped in air as she clutched the chair.

"Bad?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Did your doctor give you anything for the nausea?" he asked.

She walked over to the counter and produced the prenatal vitamins along with the nausea medication.

"Due date?" he asked.

She handed him the pregnancy statement.

"Seven weeks," he read.

"Yes."

"We'll need to take some precautions at work," he planned.

"I uhm spoke with Ecklie since I hadn't heard anything about my application," she began. "I asked for the swing shift position. I told him I was willing to switch to swing in order to get familiar with the other workers and assume some supervisory responsibilities. If he liked my work then he could promote me. If he didn't, I would remain on swing."

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Yes, I am," she said.

He tried to pull her over to the couch but she stopped him.

"I uhm need to tell you something," she said. She took a deep breath. "I slept with Hank."

She could tell that her revelation hurt him.

"Sara, that's behind us," he said.

"No it's not. That day I came to your house and Sofia answered the door, I thought you and she were…I couldn't let myself get involved with Hank until I knew for certain that you and Sofia were together." She gripped the chair as she leaned forward. I thought there was no hope…I thought that you were sleeping with Sofia."

She looked at him.

"I uhm slept with Hank that day when I came back to my apartment and then you showed up and we…"

He felt like he had been kicked in the gut.

He exhaled sharply.

"This could be Hank's child…not mine," he stated.

"I'm not sure…I don't know," she began as she tried to control the nausea.

He said nothing as he sat there.

"Griss, say something," she pleaded.

"I don't know what to say," he stammered. "I uhm need to think about this."

She nodded.

He stood and within seconds he was gone.

She sat there as she felt as if the air had been knocked out of her.

She gulped as the pain intensified until she was crying uncontrollably.

He cursed over and over as he drove around aimlessly. He was shocked at first when she told him about the baby but then she had already removed herself from the unit, softening the blow, preparing to protect him while he could do nothing but try to force his brain to accept the possibility that she was pregnant with his child.

_My child…_

He could not imagine her carrying another man's child much less Hank's. He did not like the young man and did not like the idea of having him in their life.

_What if it's Hank's?_

_How will she react?_

_Maybe she'll feel obligated to go back to Hank?_

_Maybe she really loves him…_

He hated the situation.

He hated the fact that she had given herself to Hank.

_She sleeps with Hank and then me…_

_How could she sleep with Hank unless she had feelings for him?_

_She may have chosen me but she had feelings for Hank and what happens when she has his child?_

_Will those feelings for me change?_

_How do I compete with a child?_

He went into the lab and locked himself into his office.

Ecklie tapped at the door and he opened it.

"Heard you were here earlier than normal," said Ecklie. "I wanted to talk with you about Sara."

"She told me she applied for the supervisor position," replied Grissom.

"Do you think she's ready?" asked Ecklie.

"I think she's very qualified and her record speaks for itself," he said.

"I still have my doubts," he said sitting there and eyeing Grissom.

"She offered to transfer to swing and help out so she could prove herself," said Grissom.

"There's no guarantee I'm going to give her the position and if I do appoint someone else, she will have to stay on swing," he warned.

"She understands this," said Grissom.

"Good then she can start tomorrow," announced Ecklie.

Ecklie stood and looked at Grissom. "You don't look pleased."

"I'm losing a good worker," said Grissom.

"Somehow I think you'll gain more than you'll lose," replied Ecklie with a smile.

"I see no gain in losing her," he admitted softly.

Ecklie turned and left.

Grissom leaned back and closed his eyes.

It would be Sara's last night on graveyard.

She struggled to keep something down as she swallowed the medication with a glass of water. She stepped into the lab just before shift began. She passed the guys and they looked at her solemnly.

Her heart began to race and she wondered if he had told anyone about the pregnancy. She quickly made her way to the conference room and sat down just as the others were being seated.

"You could have told us," whined Greg.

"Told you?" she asked glancing at Grissom and then Greg.

"Come on Sara. When were you going to tell us you were moving to swing? Tomorrow?" asked Nick.

Sara's eyes widened.

"Ecklie approved the transfer effective tomorrow," explained Grissom. "You'll need to get your case files in order and turn them in by the end of shift."

She said nothing as she sat there and tried to take everything in. She thought that no decision would be made for at least a week or more.

Grissom proceeded to hand out assignments and once he was done, he picked up his notebook and left without another word.

"I think he's upset that you're leaving," explained Warrick.

_He's upset for what I did…_

_He doesn't want a child…_

_He never said he wanted a child…_

_He probably thinks it's Hank's…_

_It could be Hank's…_

"So, do we get to take you out or anything?" asked Nick.

"I still have the virus," she said. "It's probably best that I hold up in my office for most of the shift."

"Good luck," said Catherine. "You're going to need it."

Sara placed the case files into a stack. She had reviewed each one and made her notes. She held three case files due to court appearances. She stared at her desk. She had sat there for five years. This would be her last night. She knew she would be moving to a new desk on the other side of the building. She would miss everyone. She would miss Grissom.

She picked up the case files and took them to his office.

She noticed the light was off and the door was shut.

She tapped lightly but there was no answer.

She stepped inside and placed the case files in his chair and then shut the door.

Sara walked through the building in search of him.

"Judy, have you seen Grissom?" asked Sara.

"He left early," she said.

"Oh," replied Sara.

She grabbed the box with her things in it and walked out of the building. She shoved the contents into the backseat of her car. She knew it would be easier if she did not go back to the unit tomorrow but stayed clear for awhile.

She was exhausted by the time she arrived at the apartment. She struggled to stay awake as she ate something. She refused to let her emotions give way as she grabbed her old sweat shirt and bottoms and then curled up in the bed once she completed her shower.

_Do I call him?_

_Do I tell Hank?_

_He wants a child…_

_He'll want to be a part of the child's life…_

_I'll have to share…_

_He may want custody…_

_He may marry Melissa and they may want custody…_

She felt a sense of panic overwhelm her.

_Hank could try to take this baby…_

_If he's married and I'm not…_

_Don't panic Sara…_

_You need to focus on your career…_

_A supervisor position is better…_

_You can better plan your hours…_

_I'll need childcare…_

_How do I find that on swing shift…_

She sat up as she struggled to breathe…

_Breathe in deeply…_

_Don't panic…_

_Just breathe…_

She slept little as she sat by the phone and hoped that he would call.

He didn't.

His silence was like shards of glass and she felt beaten and battered as she stepped back into the lab and into her new shift. Ecklie escorted her to a new vacant desk. It was much smaller than her previous desk. He handed her a list of reports that was expected to be completed each week along with her own caseload.

"I expect you to run your cases through me each week. Keep me afloat of what is going on," he ordered. "The new recruits need guidance. They'll come to you with questions."

She said nothing as she listened intently.

"Is there any questions?" he asked.

"Uhm no. Ecklie, thank you for letting me transfer," she said.

He fumbled over his next words.

Her gratitude had thrown him off guard.

He disappeared as she threw the reports down on the desk and began going through the stack of case files on the adjoining desk. She stretched from side to side as she tried to work out the kink in her neck. She had spent the last five hours reviewing the cases for the shift as well as fielding questions from the workers. There had been few new cases and she was thankful since she was still struggling to get a handle on the back log of case files and reports. She grabbed for the bag of carrots in her lunch box and grumbled when she came up empty handed.

She was starving.

She managed to find a few crackers left over from the morning snack and finished them off.

By the time she finished with the cases, it was well past the end of the shift. She had managed to finish two reports in addition to the review of the case files. She seemed pleased with her first day. She grabbed her jacket and lunch bag along with a handful of paperwork and headed home.

She chose a drive through dinner in order to find time to finish the reports. She was too tired to cook these days and knew she would most likely just pass out as soon as she arrived home.

She was surprised to find him waiting on her doorstep.

He smiled at her and she wanted nothing more than to just drop everything onto the floor and fling herself into his arms.

"Hey kiddo," Brass said softly.

"Hey Jim," she breathed.

"I thought I would come by with dinner so you could tell me about your first day," he said.

"I picked up something," she said holding it up.

"I have Chinese," he offered.

"I can save this," she grinned.

"Good thinking," he said.

They sat at her table as she munched on the food.

"So tell me, how bad it is," he said.

"I don't think anyone has been keeping up with the reports since Sofia was demoted. I spent all day reviewing the case files…we're really behind. I did get two reports done…I brought some home…but Jim, I think I'm too tired to work on them," she said as she let the fork drop onto her plate.

"No one expects you to be current in a day," said Brass.

"I uhm not sure I can do this," she groaned as she leaned back and sighed.

"If anyone can do it, it's you," soothed Brass.

"I'm not as confident as you. The new recruits are coming every hour with questions and then there's the undersheriff who wants to know about cases I've never heard about…don't even think about searching the data base because they're not listed yet," she griped.

"How are you?" he asked sounding concerned.

"I'm…I uhm…I don't know," she finally got out.

"Gil told me about the baby," he confessed.

Sara felt her face redden.

"Did he tell you uhm everything?" she asked.

"He told me you weren't sure who the father is…he or Hank. My money is on Grissom."

She rested her head in her hands. "I've made such a mess of things."

"You can't just blame yourself for this. It takes two to make a mess," he said.

"Or three," she sniffled. "I never should have…" She stopped as she cursed under her breath.

"Don't go down that road," he warned. "Besides, I think there were five involved in this mess. Sofia and I didn't help matters."

She was quiet.

"You shouldn't overdo it," he chided.

"I'm trying. I need to show Ecklie I can do this job while trying to handle a caseload and then deal with the pregnancy and all the havoc it's doing to my system."

"Have you told Hank?"

She shook her head.

"I don't know what to do," she shared. "Part of me says to wait until the baby is born and then have a paternity test done but then I'm afraid Hank may use that against me and file for custody."

"You don't think he would…"

"At least he wants a child," barked Sara sounding bitter.

"Gil wants a child also," countered Brass.

"I didn't hear him say it," shot back Sara. "I haven't heard from him since he just walked out of here."

She pushed the plate away.

"He doesn't know what to feel right now," said Brass.

"What to feel?" she yelled. "Don't defend him."

"I'm not. I can see he's digging a pretty deep pit," said Brass. "Just don't stuff and roast him when he tries to come back and grovel."

She sat there quietly.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked.

She felt the anger increasing over the situation.

_Grissom never even asked that…_

_Just got up and left…_

_Left me with the pregnancy, the new job, the raging hormones, the nausea…_

She shook her head.

He helped her clean up the mess and then headed for the door.

"Get some sleep," he said.

She nodded.

"You're scared, aren't you?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she managed to get out.

"Bullshit," he said softly as he held her.

"I'm glad about you and Sofia," she whispered.

"I bet you are," he said with a wink. "Sara, give him some time."

She wanted to scream about Grissom.

_I'm pregnant and alone and he needs time to adjust?_

_When do I get time to adjust?_

_I'm scared of being alone…_

_I'm also afraid of what Hank is going to do…_

She rubbed her broken wrist.

"That giving you any problems?" he asked.

"Just did a lot today. I'll be glad when the cast is off," she admitted.

"Just remember how you got it and be careful with Hank," warned Brass.

"Some things hurt far worse that a broken bone," she whispered to herself as Brass walked down the hall.

Note from author:

Yeah, I know. You want more chapters...so do I but not until in the morning. Leave those reviews.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:**

She cursed when she dropped the case files in the floor.

The wrist had been throbbing most of the day.

She bent down to pick them up and found another set of hands helping her.

She glanced up and saw Grissom.

"I can get these," she said.

He said nothing as he continued to help.

She placed the files in Ecklie's basket.

They both stood there awkwardly.

"Sara, I need to talk with you about that report you left in my basket," called Ecklie.

"I've got some time now," she offered.

"Good. Let's go in my office and talk," he said.

She glanced back and Grissom was already gone.

The remainder of the week turned into a blur followed by another one. She struggled to maintain some type of routine but the double shifts threw any schedule into chaos. She focused on the job forcing her to leave thoughts of the baby out of the equation at the moment since there were too many questions that just caused her to go into panic mode the moment she attempted to solve any of the issues.

She finished off her snack as she worked into the next shift. Her body ached for sleep as she grabbed her things and headed home. She had been too tired to even stop for something as she stepped inside the apartment.

She immediately fell to the couch in exhaustion as she pulled the throw over her body and slept. She fumbled for the phone when she heard it.

"Sidle," she yawned.

"It's Grissom."

She sat up slowly.

"Ecklie wants you to review a case to see if it matches the same M.O. on another case swing had a month ago."

She tried to get her brain to function but she could not seem to focus.

"Sara?"

"You uhm want me to come into the office?" she asked.

"I need you at a crime scene," he explained.

She groaned.

He heard it.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes," she said.

"Take an hour," he offered.

She showered quickly changing into fresh clothes. She glanced at her watch and knew she did not have time to grab anything from the kitchen.

She stepped out of her vehicle and crossed the yellow tape just under thirty minutes.

He said nothing when she knelt down and examined the body. She looked around the crime scene.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"It matches," she announced. She picked up some fibers underneath the body of the victim and placed it in an envelope.

She turned and began surveying the room.

He took the time to look at her.

She seemed tired but continued with her assessment of the scene.

"Have you checked the back?" she asked. "To see how he got inside?"

"Not yet," professed Grissom.

"I'll take the back," she said as she headed down the hall.

He finished with the bedroom and stepped into the bedroom.

"Find anything?" he asked.

"He climbed through the window," she pointed out. "There's some smudges…I got a partial."

She yawned.

"We can finish," he said.

"This is technically our case now," she reminded him. "I'll finish."

"Sara, it's not necessary," he countered.

"Protocol states…"

"We can handle it," he said.

"My case...my job...my responsibility," she replied.

She picked up her kit and headed into another room.

He cursed inwardly.

She did not stop until the house was cleared.

She stacked the evidence into the Denali and leaned against the back of the vehicle.

Brass handed her a pack of crackers and a drink.

"Thanks Jim," she said.

"You look exhausted," he said.

"I am," she admitted. "I just need to take this evidence back and then I'm going home."

She logged in the evidence and sat down at her desk.

The partial nagged at her.

She glanced at the file on her desk as she propped up her head and tried to force herself to finish the report. Her head slipped down and rested on the desk. It felt good. She closed her eyes giving herself permission to rest. She had just pulled another double. Three in one week was plenty.

She shoved the hand away as it gently nudged her.

"Sara, go home," prompted Grissom.

She jumped up immediately sending the case file to the floor.

He picked up the contents and glanced at them.

"This is the not the Reynold's case," he said.

She yawned. "No, it's not. It's the Taylor case."

"The Taylor case is closed," said Grissom.

"I just wanted to check something," she explained as she yawned again.

"What?" he asked as he sat down in a chair.

"Unusual fibers found on the body that was dumped three months ago," she said. "There was a partial print found. I wanted to check it against…" she yawned again.

"You can check it tomorrow," he said pulling her up. "Go home."

She didn't object as she made her way out into the parking lot and stretched letting the cool air wake her.

She threw the paperwork into the car and drove away.

Grissom stood there and watched as she left.

"Did Sara finally leave?" asked Brass as he stepped out of the lab.

"Yes," replied Grissom.

"Look, when are you going to get off your ass and do something?" sneered Brass.

"It's not that easy," he said quietly.

"You think it's easy for her? She moved to swing to protect your ass. She's taken on much more work than she can handle. You and I both know Ecklie is not going to cut her any slack. The kid is sick most of the time and yet she's worked three doubles this week."

He wasn't aware of the other doubles.

He sat in front of her apartment as he called.

The phone rang several times before she answered it.

"Sidle," she said panting.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Griss?"

"You're out of breath," he said.

"I'm fine," she managed to get out as she tried to slow her breathing.

"Have you eaten?" he asked.

"What?"

"Have you eaten?" he asked once again as he stepped out of his car and headed toward her apartment door.

"I'm sorry. I was asleep," she admitted. "It takes me a minute to wake these days."

"I thought we could get something to eat," he said standing in front of her door.

"I'm too tired," she panted.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"What?"

"Sara, open the door," he said softly.

She opened the door while she still tried to focus.

He closed the door behind him and locked it.

"I'm sorry I woke you," he stammered.

She sat down on the couch.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"I was worried. You've looked exhausted lately," he said.

"I am," she said angrily.

"Can I fix you anything?" he asked.

"No," she said sounding hurt by his long overdue visit.

He sat down across from her.

"I don't know what to do about this," he confessed.

Her head fell into her hands.

"Sara?"

"Grissom, I'm too tired to talk about this," she groaned.

"I was never good about timing," he admitted.

She laughed at his statement but the laughter soon turned to tears.

"I'm sorry Sara. I didn't mean to upset you," he said quietly.

"Could you go?" she asked. "I uhm really need to sleep."

He stood quickly. "Take care of yourself."

She laughed once more as the tears continued to fall.

"Sorry, hormones," she lied.

He hated to see her like this.

He wasn't sure what to do.

He unlocked the door. "We need to talk…sometime."

"About what?" she yelled. "I'm pregnant and not sure if it's yours or Hank's. What is there to talk about? You're leaving spoke volumes last time."

"I'm sorry… this was a bad idea," he said as he started to open the door.

"Bad idea?" she screamed. "You walk out of here, don't even bother to call me for weeks and then suddenly show up and…" she slumped back down on the couch.

He stepped back.

She breathed in deeply.

He sat back down in the chair and faced her.

It angered her that he was still there.

"Sara, you can't keep up this pace," he demanded. "You need to tell Ecklie you're pregnant."

"I need some time," she mumbled. "I need to get caught up."

"If you don't tell him…I will," he warned.

"No, you won't!" she seethed.

"Don't force me," he threatened. "That could be my child."

She struggled to get up but he held her down.

"You haven't even said you wanted this baby!"

"I do," he admitted quietly.

She sat there trying to calm down.

"Have you uhm told Hank?" he asked.

"No."

"You told me," he said softly.

"I told you because I cared what you thought. Now, I know."

"What do you know?" he asked.

"I know that you're just like Hank," she quivered.

He didn't like being compared to Hank.

"How am I like Hank?" he asked between clenched teeth.

"You don't know the first thing about love," she huffed. "We've talked. See yourself out."

She stood now and he watched as she went back to bed.

It made him angry.

He wanted to march in there and tell her he was nothing like Hank.

Instead, he slammed the door on his way out.

Sara cringed at the sound of the door.

"Don't even think about crying Sara Sidle," she screamed out loud. "He's not worth it."

She cried anyway.

She felt a bit of uneasiness when she approached her desk the next day and Ecklie stood there peering over some case files.

He glanced up and smiled. "You seem to keep worse hours than Grissom," he announced as he placed the files back down.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"I wanted to talk with you about that inventory report," he said.

She laid the papers down on her desk and pulled out the report.

He grinned. "Thanks."

She handed him the rest of the reports.

"You finished them?" he asked.

"Yes, I did," she said. "The back reports are now completed along with the current one for this week. I think the reports are now up to date. I've updated the system so the undersheriff should not be calling as much wondering what happened to the cases that were assigned to the unit. I'm still going through a few more cases of Jeffrey's. He's gotten behind but I've talked with him about a new system that should help him stay current. I don't think Anderson is going to cut it. He still can't seem to keep his field kit fully stocked. I think Roberts is doing a good job. He's even helping the others now when I'm…"

Whoa, slow down," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I thought you were here for an update."

"I was…and the inventory report," he said. "I'm impressed."

She sat down in the chair.

"When does the cast come off?" he asked as he pulled up a chair.

"In a couple of weeks," she replied.

"Good," he said.

There was a moment of silence that made both of them uneasy.

"Sara, I noticed the assignments you've been handing out…"

"I've been trying to be fair," she began.

"You have. I've also noticed a pattern," he said.

"A pattern?" she asked.

"Look, I know that this office has no secrets…not with the grapevine as active as it is," he said.

Sara felt her stomach muscles knot.

"It's no secret that when I worked first shift, my wife was a CSI. We tried to get her transferred to another unit but there were no vacancies…" his voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. "I had to be careful with assignments…just for a few months until she was out of her first trimester and then of course reduce her caseload."

He stopped and looked at her.

"I'm almost ten weeks pregnant," she breathed.

She pulled out the pregnancy statement from the stack of papers she had brought and handed it to him.

"Look, I'm not taking advantage of the situation…"

"No, you're not," he said. "You've done more than even Sofia did."

"I uhm hope this won't affect your decision when personnel decides on the supervisor position."

"You should have told me immediately," he answered.

"I'm sorry but I've been trying to adjust still and I…" she was at a loss for words at the moment.

"You need to loosen the reigns a bit and let the others pull the doubles," he replied. "Three in one week is too much."

"I hadn't intended to work that many but…"

"Run the overtime through me," he ordered. "If there is a case that is too high profile for the new recruits, we'll pull from another shift."

She nodded slowly.

"Sara, you're doing a good job…just…take care of yourself," he said.

He was sincere. It was more than Grissom had been and she felt a surge of anger return.

"Do you mind if I ask, how many children do you and your wife…"

"Elizabeth miscarried," he said. "We're still trying."

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

They discussed hospitals and doctors. The conversation seemed surreal. Sara would have never dreamed of having such a conversation with anyone except Grissom much less Ecklie.

"You mind if I take your doctor's name down?" he asked.

"No. She's very good. I actually met her during my first year here in Vegas. I used her as an expert witness," explained Sara. "Conrad, she does deal with infertility issues. She took me as a client just as a favor because of my schedule here at work. We've been good friends for years."

"I'll have Elizabeth give her a call," he stated.

He stood now and started to walk away. "Tell me when there is a problem with the caseloads…and your condition."

She nodded.

"I'll let you decide when you want to tell the others," said Ecklie.

"Thanks," she breathed.

"Sara? I'm not such a bad ass as everyone thinks…but it helps keep people in line," he said with a grin.

"You've been very fair to me…I'm sorry I didn't come to you. It's just…"

"You didn't trust me after what I tried to do to Grissom," said Ecklie. "Since we're clearing the air here, I wasn't out to take Grissom down…just knock him down a few pegs. I have to admit it always bothered me that…I mean he never acted on his feelings…placed his job above everything else. You know what I mean?" he asked never taking his eyes off her but Sara did not show any emotion.

Ecklie sighed and continued. "I couldn't do that. I chose Elizabeth over my career. I have no regrets. I would do it again. I had to grovel and make promises…some I didn't like in order to keep my job but I did. I often wondered if the stress of our situation was part of the reason for her miscarriage…I guess I'll never know."

"You demoted Sofia," said Sara quietly.

"She wasn't right for the job," said Ecklie. "She didn't want it bad enough or she would have been here at all hours straightening out this mess…like I've seen with you."

She let out a sigh of relief.

She had dreaded telling Ecklie and yet they seemed comfortable talking about her pregnancy.

For for the first time in weeks, Sara felt a bit of pressure ease in her life and it was becuase of Ecklie.

A tear slipped down her cheek and she angrily swiped it away.

_I guess I was never worth the risk..._

Note from author:

I so want to kick Grissom...into high gear...so leave a review so we can move on.

Take care


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

The week did not seem as hectic. She looked up from her desk one day and found the guys standing there in front of her.

"Remember us?" asked Nick.

"Hey guys," she grinned as she leaned back in her chair.

"Nice desk," smirked Greg. "I think I have a coffee table at home that's bigger."

"It's not so bad…out of the way of the traffic," replied Sara.

"How come you're not using the supervisor office?" asked Warrick.

"I'm not sure I even know where that is," admitted Sara. "Really, it's not so bad."

"Right," joked Greg as he picked up a few items from her desk. "I think these belong to graveyard."

"I'm just borrowing them until I get some of my own," she said defensively.

"You should have borrowed your desk," chuckled Nick.

"Did you guys just come here to make fun of my new digs or you have a purpose?" asked Sara.

"Dinner on us," announced Nick.

"Actually it's on Warrick," corrected Greg. "He's the only one who seems to know how to save money."

"Food would be great. I'm starving," she said.

"Well, that's an improvement," said Nick.

They stopped when Ecklie walked up.

"Sara…" he stopped when he saw the others standing there.

"We were getting ready to go to dinner," she said.

"Good," he said. "Come by later and we'll go over these reports."

"Thanks Conrad," she called.

The guys watched as Ecklie disappeared.

"Conrad?" whispered Greg. "Since when did you get on first name basis with Ecklie?"

"He's not so bad," said Sara. "He's been fair."

"He wasn't so fair to Sofia," reminded Nick.

"I can only speak from my own personal experience," replied Sara. "So Warrick, how much money do you have? I'm starving."

Warrick chuckled. "I've got your back or should I say your stomach."

Sara chuckled as she took off with the guys.

They watched as she finished off the veggie burger and fries.

"What?" she asked as she sipped on the shake.

"I've never seen you eat so much," said Nick.

"Yeah, I usually get most of your fries," whined Greg.

"So things are really okay with you and Ecklie?" asked Nick.

"Yeah. It was awkward for a week or so but things are good," she announced.

Nick and Greg groaned.

"Pay up," chuckled Warrick.

"You'll have to wait until payday," they groaned.

"You had a bet?" asked Sara.

"They said you and Ecklie would be at each other's throat by now and you'd be coming back to graveyard," said Warrick.

"Sorry but I had a one way ticket. If I don't get the position, I'm still there in swing," she said. "There's no going back."

Greg did not seem pleased at the news.

"Listen guys, I'm glad you did this cause there's something I need to tell you," she said.

"Here it comes," said Greg. "What are you doing this time? Leaving the department?"

She frowned.

"Yeah, you gave us less than twenty four hour notice with the last bit of news and Grissom had to tell us," grumbled Nick.

"So what's up cookie?" asked Warrick.

Sara licked her lips. "This is going to come out soon so…I'm pregnant."

The table was silent except for the ice settling in Nick's glass.

"That explains a lot," grinned Nick.

"It does?" she asked.

"You devoured that burger," he said. "My sister ate everything in sight for nine months."

"Congratulations," said Warrick as he hugged her.

Nick and Greg did the same.

"I know this must be a shock," she admitted.

"Yes, it is," said Greg.

The other two guys glared at Greg.

"How far along?" asked Nick.

"Twelve next week," she said.

"Mind if we ask who…" Greg stopped.

"Yes I do and no I'm not telling you," she said. "It's just me."

Nick cursed as he thought about Hank.

"Well, I don't care," grinned Nick. "If you need anything, just give me a call."

"Thanks Nick," said Sara.

Warrick and Greg chimed in also.

The conversation came to a halt.

"How is the unit?" she asked. "I've only seen Brass once and now you guys."

Her statement seemed to disappoint Warrick.

He had hoped that Sara's departure had been to protect Grissom.

He wasn't so sure now.

"Brass and Sofia are an item," reported Greg.

"Yeah, I know," she replied.

"You mean you knew about the two of them?" asked Nick.

"Yes. They've been seeing each other for months," said Sara.

"Grissom is a bear these days," said Greg.

Nick kicked him.

Sara did not reply.

"He's been really busy since he got back," said Nick.

"Got back?" she asked.

"He took some time off," said Nick.

_Good for him…_

_I'm buried at the lab and pregnant and…_

_Stop it Sara…_

"Good for him," she announced. "I would kill for a day or two off."

"Don't overdo it," warned Nick.

"It's actually gotten better," said Sara. "Conrad has been really supportive about the pregnancy."

"He knew before we did?" asked Greg.

"He's known for weeks," she admitted.

Heads shot up when Brass and Grissom walked in.

Nick waved before he realized Sara might not want to share the news.

"Sorry Sara," he whispered as he saw them approach.

"It's fine. They know," she said as she stood to leave. "This has been good guys. I should get back so I can get with Ecklie on those reports."

"Don't be a stranger," called Warrick.

"Want us to sneak up your old desk?" asked Greg.

"No thanks," she said with a smile as she spoke briefly with Brass and then shoved her sunglasses on before heading out.

"We treated Sara to dinner," said Greg.

"You mean Warrick," corrected Nick.

"Hard to imagine Sara pregnant," said Warrick.

Grissom dropped the spoon onto his plate.

"Sara said you guys already knew," said Nick.

"We do," said Grissom.

"Well, I could just kick Hank's ass," sneered Nick. "Sara deserves better."

"Yes, she does," sneered Brass staring at Grissom.

Grissom gulped down the coffee letting it burn his throat.

"At least everyone knows now," said Brass. "We were wondering when she was going to tell you guys."

"There's Ecklie still," said Grissom.

"Sara told him weeks ago," replied Greg. "And they're on first name basis."

Brass chuckled. "You and Nick lost the best to Warrick I take it."

"I'm just glad things seem to be going alright," said Nick. "Pregnancy is stressful enough much less having to deal with a new shift, new recruits and that mess. Catherine was about to pull her hair out with all of the interruptions."

"I heard the recruits are doing much better," said Warrick. "That was some dysfunctional group. Sofia said that was part of the problem. There were too many new recruits. She had to practically hold their hand."

"Sara is a good teacher," said Greg. "She never lost her patience with me."

"That's saying a lot," chuckled Nick.

Greg made a face.

"Sara's ultrasound will be coming up. We can have a baby pool," said Greg.

"Pregnant women can get vicious. You better be careful," warned Nick. "My sisters were very moody and…you think Sara will have a boy or a girl?"

"A boy," said Warrick.

"That's my guess," said Greg.

"A girl," said Nick.

"You think so?" asked Greg.

"I hope so for Sara's sake," said Nick.

"Why do you say that?" asked Grissom quietly.

"Because it's easier for a single mom to raise a daughter than a son on her own and Sara says she's on her own," said Nick.

Grissom set the coffee cup down with a clang.

Sara tapped on Ecklie's door and he motioned for her to come in.

She sat down and waited for him to finish the phone call before speaking.

"I brought a copy of last month's report…"

"Sara, I didn't really want to talk with you about the report," he said.

"Okay," she said.

"Elizabeth met with Dr. Martin," he announced.

"So how did it go?" she asked.

"We're going to try a new procedure," he stated. "Dr. Martin seems optimistic."

"That's great," she said.

"I guess we can go over those reports since you're here," he replied. "I take it you've started to tell everyone."

"First trimester is almost over," she said. "I thought it was best."

"Doing okay?" he asked.

"Tired…want to eat everything in sight but yeah I'm adjusting," she said.

"You've got that glow about you," he remarked. "It's probably best you tell everyone before the grapevine puts its own spin on things."

Sara laughed.

"Conrad, I want to thank you for your support. Despite the chaos, I am enjoying working in swing."

"I'm glad. I must admit I thought you were a loose cannon," he said.

"You haven't been around me when my hormones take off," she warned. "You may revise that thinking."

They both laughed.

It happened by mistake.

It was an innocent conversation that was said too loud.

"I'm just glad Sara is staying clear of Hank," said Nick. "If he so much as puts one hand on her then…"

"I'm glad she has the cast off," said Warrick. "But I'm with you. That bastard better not cause her any grief."

"You really think Hank is the father?" asked Greg.

"Sara doesn't sleep around," said Nick. "She's better off without him even if she is pregnant."

Hank stepped around the corner of the building and came face to face with the others.

"Sara is pregnant?" asked Hank.

Nick cursed.

He and Warrick cornered Hank.

"You're going to stay away from her. Got it?" yelled Nick.

"I wouldn't hurt her," said Hank.

"Yeah, like the wrist?" seethed Greg.

"Look Nick, I swear it was an accident. I would never hurt her intentionally," he said. "I've stayed away. I heard she is working for swing shift now. How is she? Is she alright? If she's pregnant, I have a right to know."

"You have no rights," glared Nick.

"Man if you really care for Sara then you'll leave her alone," said Warrick.

Hank ran his fingers through his hair.

"I do care," he mumbled. "You have no idea. Is she okay Nick?"

"She's fine," replied Nick.

"I just want to know if she's okay…see if she needs anything…does she?" he asked quickly.

"She doesn't need anything from you," said Greg.

"She has the cast off. I was wondering how she was doing…Is she okay?" he asked. "I mean…" he stopped. He knew they would not volunteer any information.

He stepped aside and left.

"I think we just made a huge mistake," grumbled Warrick.

"He's going to hound Sara," said Greg.

"I'll talk with Brass and see if he can do anything," said Nick. "I better tell Sara."

She looked perplexed as she stood there in the hallway. She had received two written messages from Nick as well as a phone message. She glanced up when she felt a hand on her elbow.

"We need to talk," whispered Nick.

"That sounds bad," said Sara.

"Yeah, well you're probably going to kick our ass after we tell you what we did," said Nick.

Nick guided Sara into the break room.

Grissom watched from across the room.

"Okay Nicky. You're scaring me," she admitted as she reached for an apple.

"Hank overheard us talking about the baby," he blurted out.

Sara fell back in the chair.

She took a deep breath.

"Sara, he's asking all kind of questions," growled Nick. "It's going to be a matter of time before he starts…"

"Hey Sara," popped in Judy. "You've got several messages from a guy named Hank."

Sara groaned.

"I'm so sorry," begged Nick.

"It was bound to happen," said Sara. "Look Nick. It's probably for the best."

"If he bothers you…"

"I'm fine," she lied.

"Watch yourself," warned Nick.

She set the apple back grabbing the messages and took off.

Grissom stepped into the break room.

Nick cursed out loud.

"Is there a problem?" asked Grissom.

"I think we just made a huge problem for Sara," fumed Nick.

"How's that?" asked Grissom.

"Hank Pettigrew. He overheard us talking about the pregnancy and now he knows. He's calling Sara," said Nick. "I don't trust the man. I don't blame Sara for not telling the man she's pregnant. He could go off and …have you seen Brass? I should talk with him," said Nick.

"He's with Doc," said Grissom.

Nick left.

Grissom leaned against the counter.

_What the hell am I doing?_

Note from author:

Thanks to all of you that leave a review. I do appreciate it especially with the amount of time I spend doing this.

Take care


	13. Chapter 13

Note from author:

One more chapter just because I was low and the reviews were good...

Take care

**Chapter Thirteen:**

She picked up the phone and groaned when she heard his voice.

"Could we talk?" Hank asked.

"There's nothing to talk about," she replied.

"Sara, please. Just give me five minutes," he pleaded. "I can come to your office."

"When do you want…"

"I'm at the front desk," he stated. "I'll be right up."

She was surprised he was there so quickly.

He sat down in the chair and looked at her.

"You look good," he exclaimed.

"Thanks," she said.

"How are you?' he asked.

"Good," she claimed. "You have nine more questions and then I cut you off at ten."

He looked shocked.

"Just joking," she said trying to ease the tension.

He smiled slightly. "I know you're pregnant."

"Yes, I am," she admitted.

"It's mine," he announced.

Their eyes locked.

_Lie Sara…_

_Don't tell him the truth…_

_It would be easier with Hank not around…_

"I'm not sure," she finally said.

"But it could be, right?" he asked eagerly.

"Yes," she said quietly.

It was the reaction she had wanted from Grissom.

It was coming from Hank.

He smiled and then suddenly came around the desk to hug her before she had time to react.

She felt a lump in her throat.

He really wanted to have a child.

"We uhm shouldn't be doing this," she gasped as she broke the contact.

"I'm sorry. I'm just happy about the news," he grinned.

She sat back down and he did the same.

She was relieved the desk separated them.

"How far along are you?" he asked. "Wait, I should know that."

"Fourteen weeks," she announced.

"Everything is okay?" he asked.

"Yes. Morning sickness was a bitch but I survived," she admitted.

"I wished I had known. I would have…I'm not sure what I could have done…maybe purchased several boxes of garbage bags, crackers and I hear ginger ale is good," he said.

"It is," she replied.

He smiled again.

Her stomach knotted.

He was being nice.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked.

"No."

"Do you need anything?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"There has to be something I can do," he argued. "Look I know you work long hours. I can bring dinner or cook or help around the apartment."

He was being too nice.

She thought she would cry.

"I'm good," she repeated.

He seemed disappointed.

"I can help pay expenses," he offered.

"No. Besides, it may not be yours," she reminded him quietly.

"I don't care. Sara, if you need anything, all you have to do is ask," he exclaimed.

She felt the first tear and cursed at the damn hormones.

"I'm good," she announced once again. "There is one thing you could do."

"Anything," he said.

"I don't want you to do this again. No more contact. When the baby is born, I'll contact you…for a paternity test," she said.

"You want me to just ignore the fact that you could be carrying my child," he hissed.

He tried to hide his anger but she felt it.

"Are you with that guy?" he asked.

"No."

He seemed relieved.

"Then there's a chance that we could..."

She shook her head quickly.

"We're never going to be together," she warned.

She was being honest but at that moment she wished she had lied.

"You're not going to keep me from this baby!" he declared running his hand through his hair.

"If the baby is yours, I won't object to visits."

He seemed to calm down.

"I never thought I would have a child of my own," he explained as he leaned forward.

"Hank, there's no guarantee…"

"Melissa and I are still trying to work things out," he admitted. "We're going to counseling. We've been discussing adoption."

Sara nodded.

"Melissa would be accepting of the baby, I'm sure of it. Once visitation is ordered through the court…"

"Visitation?" she interrupted.

Sara bristled.

She had not thought that far in advance.

"I intend to be a part of my child's life," he announced. "I intend to see my child as much as possible."

Sara felt herself panicking.

"Too soon to plan," she said quickly.

"I'm sorry. I'm just thinking about what's best for the baby," he explained.

She tried to calm herself as he sat there and stared at her.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"Thank you," he said. "You could have gotten an abortion. I know this must have been a shock but I'm glad it happened. Look, I know you don't have any family and I'm sure you didn't plan this but Melissa and I…we've wanted a child."

"I want this child," she said quickly.

"My family could help. There are family members who would be willing to keep the baby while you work. Swing is going to be difficult to find childcare. Melissa could keep…"

"I'm not ready to talk about this," she said feeling on edge.

"You should be thinking about the baby's future," he urged. "I could offer so much if you'd let me."

"I don't need anything," she declared.

"Just going to do it on your own?" he asked bitterly.

"Hank, don't make me regret that you know," she cautioned.

She stood hoping that he would get the cue to leave.

She walked around the desk and he quickly pulled her into his arms.

"Sara…we could work this out…be together," he whispered.

"Don't," she pleaded.

He pulled her tighter.

"Hank let go of me," she demanded.

"You're not even taking the baby's needs into consideration," he seethed.

"Yes, I am!" she said trying to pull away from him.

"You have a new job and you're pregnant…what are you going to do if there're complications? These hours can't be good for the baby."

"I'm fine," she responded.

She wasn't.

He had brought up issues she had already considered.

She had no answers and suddenly she felt very insecure.

She stepped back folding her arms in front of her.

He stepped toward her and soon she found herself against the wall.

It was the first time she feared him.

He was angry and hurt.

It reminded her of the day he broke her wrist.

His hand rested against the wall blocking her from escaping.

She knew she could yell.

With one yell, the others would come.

His other hand rested on her abdomen.

"Don't touch me…like that," she stammered.

"Have you felt the baby?" he asked.

She shook her head.

His head came to rest near hers.

"I've missed you," he whispered.

"Please don't do this," she implored.

"How can I not?" he asked. "God, Sara I've missed you so much and then I find out you're pregnant."

"Hank, it might not be yours," she repeated.

_Please don't let it be his…_

His hand caressed her abdomen.

She tried to move away but he pulled her into his arms.

It pained her that Hank was persistent with his desire to be a part of her life while Grissom had practically ran.

"Stop!" she quivered.

It shocked him.

"I'm uhm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Hands suddenly grabbed Hank.

"Let go of her!" yelled Warrick.

Hank released Sara and she scrambled behind her desk.

"Are you okay?" asked Warrick.

She nodded.

"I'm sorry, Sara," Hank begged.

"Just leave," she ordered.

"I'll escort you to the door," fumed Warrick.

"I'm leaving," said Hank. "There's no need."

Warrick watched as Hank headed down the hall.

"You okay?" Warrick asked.

She nodded again.

"I'm going to make sure he's gone," said Warrick.

She sat down at her desk and began to cry.

It began with one tear then another and another and soon the tears were uncontrollable.

"Sara…" Jeffrey, the new recruit, stopped dead in his tracks. "I'll come back."

Jeffrey rushed down the hall running into Ecklie.

"Jeffrey did you talk with Sara about that case?" he asked.

"Uhm no," Jeffrey stuttered. "It was not a good time."

"Is there someone with her?" asked Ecklie.

"No," he said. "But I don't think…"

Ecklie walked to the back and stopped suddenly when he heard her crying.

"Jeffrey, I'll check with Sara myself," said Ecklie. "I'll get with you later."

Jeffrey fled.

Ecklie waited a moment and then stepped around the corner.

He said nothing as he sat down while she wiped her face with her sleeve and tried to compose herself.

"Meltdown?" he asked.

"Is it that obvious?" she asked.

"Jeffrey is probably going to stay clear of you for awhile," replied Ecklie. "He probably thinks you were crying over his failure as a CSI."

"He's not a failure…just deficient in about every area," she muttered.

They both chuckled.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry. I feel so embarrassed for this," she cringed.

"My uhm wife had one just about every day," he said. "After we lost the baby, I wanted her to cry. She was just kind of numb for a long time."

"I'm sorry Conrad," she replied softly.

"Hey, there is some good news. We're in the last stages of the invitro process," he announced. "We won't know if it worked for awhile," he cautioned.

"Keep positive," she urged.

He nodded. "You okay?"

"I'm good. Hungry now but good," she sniffled.

"There's some fruit in the break room down stairs," he reported.

"There was," she said as she pulled out an apple from her desk.

"Look, I know I'm your boss but I hope you feel comfortable confiding in me…about anything," he said feeling out of place suddenly.

"This won't happen again," she blurted out.

"It won't bother me if it does," he consoled. "Do you uhm have any support…a boyfriend…"

"No," she said quickly.

He was surprised by her quick response.

"I kind of thought you and…" he didn't finish as he stood. "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

She nodded as he left.

_no boyfriend...no Grissom...just Hank..._

Note from author:

I really appreciate the reviews...they have been very kind and makes up for the sleepless nights in front of this computer...thank you...


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

He showed up at the end of shift.

She looked up and he smiled.

"Dinner kiddo on me," Brass announced.

"Nick called you. Didn't he?"

"No, Warrick did," corrected Brass.

"Figures," she grumbled. "I'm not up for dinner at the diner."

"Want to pick up something?" he asked. "A couple of veggie burgers?"

"I won't turn down a free meal," she confessed as she grabbed her things.

Brass followed her home and they took the stairs when the elevator was out of order.

"How often does that happen?" he asked.

"When I'm too tired to take the stairs," she complained. "Twice a week."

He chuckled.

She stopped suddenly when she saw the plant sitting in front of her door.

She unlocked the door as Brass brought it inside.

He grinned when he noticed the plant was from Grissom.

She said nothing as she fixed some drinks while Brass put the food onto plates.

"How's Sofia?" asked Sara.

"You mean how we're doing?" he asked.

"Okay, how's it going?" asked Sara.

"I can be an ass sometimes," he admitted. "Like I blew her off for dinner so she's having dinner with another man."

Sara stopped suddenly, "And you're okay with that?"

"It's with Grissom. She might as well be with the pope," he declared. "Grissom only cares for one person…you."

"Let's not talk about him," she replied.

"He sent you that plant," he countered.

"So."

"Sara…"

"You want to know how it went with Hank," she said.

"Straight to the point. Why can't all women be like that," he teased.

"Well he knows," she announced.

"And?"

She set the burger down.

"He was happy that he might be the father. He really wants a child. He uhm…" She leaned back in the chair. "He wants to be a part of the baby's life."

"How do you feel about that?" he asked.

"He reacted the way I wished Grissom had," She breathed in deeply. "I couldn't wait for him to leave."

"Warrick said things got a little out of hand," said Brass eyeing her.

"He started making plans. He talked about visitation." She looked at Brass. "Jim it scared the hell out of me. He wants visitation…probably custody."

"Sara, Hank is not going to take your child from you," he crooned holding her hand.

"He could. We both know how crazy our hours can get. Catherine's ex made her life a living hell until he died," she lamented. "He has family. Judges frown on single parents with no support group."

"You have a support group," reminded Brass. "You have us."

"Everyone I know works on graveyard or swing," she countered.

"Try not to worry," he said.

"I didn't until now," she admitted.

"We'll help," he urged.

She said nothing as she sat there no longer interested in the food.

"You know what hurt the most?" she whispered.

"What?"

"Feeling worthless," she wept. "My father used to tell me that I would turn out like this. It's funny how no matter how hard you try to prove someone wrong, it turns out they were right."

"You're not worthless!" Brass scolded. "I would be proud to have you as a daughter."

"I'm sure the court is going to frown on an unwed mother who has to have a paternity test in order to know who the father is."

"Sara…"

"I thought once I got past the morning sickness things would get better," she said barely above a whisper. "Every day it gets harder and harder."

He watched as she sat there toying with her food.

"I'm not very hungry," she said standing. "I've got a few things I need to do before I can sleep."

He didn't push.

He helped clear the table and left.

Brass banged on the townhouse door.

Sofia answered the door.

"Stop doing that!" Brass yelled at her.

"What did I do?" she asked.

Grissom sat in the chair with a drink in his hand.

"You and I are the reason Sara got involved with Hank," yelled Brass going to the kitchen and helping himself to a drink.

"I never should have opened the door that day," admitted Sofia.

"I started for the door but then decided to let you open it," reminded Brass. He looked at Grissom. "You were too damn drunk to even care who was there on your doorstep."

"You think I don't know that?" Grissom asked.

"What the hell are you doing Grissom?" yelled Brass.

"I uhm sent her a plant," he said.

Sofia turned her head so Grissom would not see her smirk.

"Hank knows. Hank is already making demands and she's worried he may try to get custody," sneered Brass.

Grissom's head shot up. "The court wouldn't give custody to a man over a woman."

"Where were you when Catherine's husband was making her life miserable? We both know what kind of person he was. The court frowns on graveyard single parents. Hank has an extended family…Sara doesn't. He's already pointed this out."

"How's Sara taking all of this? Stress can't be good for the baby," worried Sofia.

"She's scared as hell," yelled Brass. "She thinks she's living up to her father's expectation…worthless."

They watched as Grissom left.

"You were pretty rough on him," accused Sofia.

"Good! We made this mess!" yelled Brass.

"I like it when you're angry," purred Sofia.

He sighed. "I'm worried about Sara."

"I'm worried about Grissom," added Sofia. "He thinks Sara has feelings for Hank. He's afraid the baby will only bring them closer and he'll lose her for good."

"The only way he's going to lose Sara is if he doesn't get off his ass and do something," he warned.

Grissom had no idea what he should say. He had spent the last couple of hours driving around, waiting until he got the nerve to visit her.

He glanced at his watch and hoped she was awake since her shift would be starting soon.

He knocked on the door and waited.

He could hear her voice on the other side.

"No," she said sternly. "You said you wouldn't do this. No."

"I don't care. I'm not giving you this baby!" she yelled. "Hank…look I don't want to fight about this…please stop calling."

Grissom banged on the door.

She thrust the door open.

She turned her back from Grissom. "I don't care Hank. What?" She sat down on the couch suddenly.

"No!" She yelled. "You can't force me to do that! Then get an attorney!" She bellowed.

She breathed in deeply.

"No," she declared one more time as she hung up.

"Sara?"

She tried to catch her breath.

He quickly sat down across from her.

"Breathe in deeply," he said. "Lean back, close your eyes and take deep breaths."

She couldn't as she felt the panic rise.

"Sara, you're going to hyperventilate," he warned.

She felt herself being pushed down on the couch. His hand glided across her forehead and gently stroked her cheek. He said nothing until her breathing slowed.

"How long have you had panic attacks?" he asked.

"I don't," she panted.

"You just did," he pointed out.

"Is there a reason you're here?" she asked.

"I heard about Hank's visit," he said.

She bit down on her lower lip until she tasted copper.

"Looks like you both know now," she announced.

"I'm sorry for the way I've acted," he pleaded.

She said nothing.

"Sara…"

"You're too late," she lied.

"Always the timing," he said sadly.

"You've apologized," she said sitting up. "You can leave now."

He gently pushed her back down and placed the throw over her.

"Just lie still," he said. "I take it Hank is making demands."

"You have no idea," she muttered.

He stared at her.

"You okay?" he asked.

"This is my child! I'm not giving my baby to anyone. They are not going to get joint custody. They are…"

She stopped when she felt the pressure again.

"No talking," he said softly. "Panic attacks can wreak havoc on your system. It can feel like a heart attack."

"No kidding," she mumbled.

He glanced down at her. "Thought you didn't have them?"

She said nothing.

She cursed when her phone rang.

She glanced at the caller ID.

It was Hank.

She turned it off and closed her eyes.

He sat there quietly.

She finally opened her eyes. "You can go."

"I'd like to stay."

"I'm fine," she lied.

"You need anything?" he asked.

"No."

"Would you tell me if you did?" he asked.

"Yes. I need something now. I need for you to go," she spit out.

"Did you like the plant?" he asked quietly.

"You've given me a plant before," she miffed.

"Not like this," he acknowledged.

"Like what?"

He didn't answer.

She fumed.

"Sara?"

"What?"

"The ultrasound," he began.

"You too?"

"Hank asked to come?" he asked.

"He all but demanded it," she shuddered. "I said no."

He could tell she was scared.

"I won't let him take the baby from you," he said quickly.

She closed her eyes not wanting him to see the doubt in her eyes.

"You don't believe me. Do you?" he asked.

"It's not your problem," she said.

"Yes, it is," he corrected.

"Look, I'll let you know as soon as I know who the father is," she announced. "We have five and half more months of fun."

"I'm sorry you're going through this," he said softly.

"Me too," she said wearily.

"I can help," he offered.

"No."

"Sara, you need help," he pointed out.

"No, I don't," she declared.

"You don't mean it's too late," he said.

"Yes, I do."

He felt as if he were having a panic attack.

"No second chances," he said. "What happens if the baby is mine? Do we fight over visitation and custody and…"

He stopped when she came up off the couch and struggled to breath.

"I'm sorry Sara. I didn't mean to upset you," he urged.

"What…happens…if…it's ….Hank's?" she asked.

He sat there and said nothing.

He already felt the baby was Hank's.

He didn't think it was his.

"Just… what…I thought," she mourned. "Please… go… Grissom."

"I don't know Sara," he admitted. "I think my heart would break if it wasn't mine."

"Then that would make two of us because mine broke the day you walked out when I told you I was pregnant."

"I'm sorry Sara. I didn't know how to handle these feelings. I still don't," he confessed.

"I'm sorry but I don't have time to consider your feelings. This baby will be here in five months. I have to focus on the pregnancy, the job, the new recruits and now Hank with Melissa."

"You don't have to do this alone," he reminded her.

"I've been alone ever since you left. Hank may have gotten out of hand but at least he was happy that he might be the father to this baby. He wants this baby. He wanted me back even though the baby may turn out to be yours….I don't have time to handle these feelings. I have to get ready for work!"

Her hands clenched into a fist as she made her way off the couch.

"You know the way out!" she yelled.

"You said Hank got out of hand. What did you mean?" he asked.

She did not answer as she headed toward the bedroom shutting the door.

She was surprised when she returned an hour later from showering that he still sat there.

"Grissom, I'm too tired to fight with you also," she pleaded.

"Take a night off," he suggested. "You could use the rest."

"I can't," she replied. "We're in the middle of a big case and the new recruits can't be left solo just yet."

"Ecklie could pull from graveyard," he said. "One of the guys wouldn't mind helping out for awhile…I could…"

"No."

"Are you turning down the guys or me?"

"I'm not going to start relying on the guys to help us out. I may need the help later…when I'm further along."

They stared at one another.

"You're not alone," he repeated. "We can help you. I can…"

"I appreciate the offer but…"

"You won't accept any help from me," he said.

"I'm not accepting any help from you or Hank," she clarified.

"Do you uhm still have feelings for Hank?" he asked.

She glared at him.

"You shouldn't have to ask that," she wept.

"Sara…"

"Please go Grissom. Just please go," she said as she swiped at her eyes. "I'm so tired of all of this."

He was gone immediately.

Note from author:

Well, you didn't think she would let him off easy for being such a ......you fill in the blank.

Take care


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

She cursed when she came into the lab and found a bouquet of flowers from Hank.

She gave them to Judy.

It did not help when she found a fruit basket sitting on her desk from Grissom.

She gave it to the unit after she kept an apple or two.

"Giving away food?" asked Ecklie.

"Got plenty. Want some?" asked Sara.

"Elizabeth may until the morning sickness hits," he announced.

Sara choked on the apple. "That's great!"

"We didn't want to say anything," he said. "It's still very early."

"I'm happy for you Conrad," beamed Sara.

He smiled as he walked away.

The week continued with strange.

Hank sent a baby catalogue for Sara to order baby items with his credit card.

She sent it back.

Grissom had Chinese delivered at a crime scene when she pulled a double.

She reluctantly ate the food but then sent the same dinner to his residence as reimbursement.

Grissom had a better chair delivered to her office.

It was very nice.

She wanted to keep it until she found he had personally purchased it.

She again reimbursed him by having the charges reversed to her.

He fumed when he was notified by the store.

She threw down the latest messages sent by Hank.

"This has got to stop," she fumed.

"I agree," said Sofia as she stood there. "I'm not sure what I just agreed with but you sounded like you needed some support."

Sara said nothing as the blonde sat down.

"I think my visit is long overdue," she said. "I guess my timing is worse than Grissom's."

Sara still remained silent.

"Sara's he's scared he's not the father," reported Sofia.

"He may not be," replied Sara.

"You don't understand. In his mind, he doesn't think he has any chance of being the baby's father," explained Sofia.

"He has just as much chance as Hank," she said.

"Sara, he and Brass are a lot alike…just don't tell them I said so. Jim wouldn't give me the time of day because of our age difference. It took a couple of beers and one really bad shift for him to…Grissom is no different. He often said he was too old for someone like you. He thought you were better off with someone younger, someone who would marry you and give you a family. He didn't think that was him."

"Older men have children all the time," said Sara.

"He's very insecure what can I say," grinned Sofia. "He doesn't think he can compete with Hank. He thinks you still have feelings for Hank and if it's proven the baby belongs to Hank, you're going to go back to him."

"I never had feelings for Hank," she seethed. "And I don't want Hank… no matter what. I've already told Hank there would be no future for us."

"Talk with Grissom, Sara," she urged. "Oh by the way, returning his gifts has been a blow."

"I don't want anything," she declared. "I don't want anything from either of them."

"Are you sure about that?" asked Sofia as she left.

Sara picked up the phone and called Peggy.

"Peggy, I've changed my mind. I want the amnio," she said.

She finished up the last of the reports and then tapped on Ecklie's door.

"I need a couple of days off," she stated.

"Sure. Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"I'm going in for a medical procedure…nothing life threatening," she reported.

"Okay," he replied hesitantly.

"It's an amnio," she explained.

"Sara, is everything okay?" he asked quickly.

"It's fine…just routine," she assured him.

"Oh. Well, if you need more than two days, just let me know," he said.

"Thanks Conrad," she said as she left.

She cursed when the elevator was not working again.

She climbed the stairs and started to turn around when she saw Hank standing there.

"Sara!"

"Go away Hank," she called.

"Wait. I just want to talk with you," he pleaded.

"I'm having an amnio," she announced. "I'll let you know as soon as the results are back."

"Isn't there risks with having an amnio?" he asked sounding worried.

"Not as much risk as the stress I'm under with this," she said pointing to him.

"Maybe we should talk with your OB. I'll come and we can assess…"

"Go away!" she yelled.

"You heard her," came a voice from behind.

Hank turned and saw Grissom standing there. He merely glanced at Grissom and refocused his attention on Sara.

"Sara, let's talk about this amnio procedure," urged Hank. "I'm sure I'll feel comfortable…"

Sara walked past him and opened her door.

She stepped in, blocking Hank as she shut the door.

Grissom stood there and waited until the young man left.

He tapped on the door.

"Go away!" she yelled.

"Sara, it's me," called Grissom.

"Go home Grissom."

"Please," he added.

She opened the door.

"When is the amnio?" he asked.

"Like I told Hank, I'll tell you when I get the results. It should be…" she stopped as her hands flew to her abdomen.

"Sara, are you alright?" he asked.

She nodded.

"You don't look alright," he said as he grabbed her by the arm forcing her to sit down on the couch.

"I'm fine," she said softly.

"You didn't look fine," he said sounding frustrated.

"I'm good," she announced as she started to get up but he pushed her back down.

"Griss, I swear if you…"

"What just happened?" he asked.

"I felt the baby," she admitted barely above a whisper.

He smiled.

She returned the smile but it soon faded and the anger returned.

"It's probably sick of hearing about this! I've scheduled the amnio and putting an end to it."

"I have to agree with Hank," he began.

"Go!"

"Just hear me out," he urged.

"Move or…"

He quickly pulled her into his arms and kissed her to silence.

She wanted to protest.

The idea even fluttered around in her brain but she relaxed against him letting his tongue meet hers and was breathless for all the right reasons.

He slowly pulled himself away.

"You sure about this?" he asked.

She nodded.

"But…"

"It's safer than dealing with this stress," she professed. "I'm too tired Grissom."

"Then let me help," he offered.

"You're part of the stress," she admitted.

"I won't be," he pleaded.

"That's not possible," she groaned.

"I'll make it possible," he said.

She didn't believe him.

He sat down as if he intended to stay.

She sighed out loud and headed to the kitchen.

He was up instantly.

"Had dinner?" he asked.

"Not yet," she admitted.

"Sit down," he said. "I'll fix you something."

She ignored him as she opened the fridge but quickly shut it.

"I'll eat later," she announced.

"Forgot to get groceries, didn't you?" he asked.

"It's been awhile," she admitted. "I'll order something later."

"Let me," he said pulling out his phone.

"No, you won't," she demanded.

"It's just dinner," he chided. "No strings attached."

She waivered as her stomach growled.

He frowned. "I'm calling."

"Fine," she muttered as she left the room and headed for the bathroom.

He grinned when he heard the shower turn on.

_At least she didn't throw me out…_

He was sitting there reading her pregnancy week by week book when she returned.

She took it from his hands and settled down on the couch.

The smell of lavender floated in the air.

He wanted to sit next to her but thought it was best to keep his distance.

"I ordered Chinese," he announced.

She loved Chinese.

She pretended not to care.

"Extra egg rolls and noodles," he added.

"Fine."

Her stomach growled once again.

"At least someone is impressed," he quipped and she hid the smile behind the book.

The food arrived within the hour.

Grissom paid and quickly took the food.

She tried not to salivate when he pulled out the large portions.

"I got enough for leftovers," he explained.

"Thanks," she replied as she bit into the egg roll.

"When is the amnio?" he asked.

"Tomorrow," she said. "Conrad gave me some time off."

"Glad that you and Conrad are getting along so well," grinned Grissom.

"He still thinks I'm a loose cannon," she said between bites.

Grissom's fork dropped. "He told you that?"

"He said he called me a loose cannon to you one day," said Sara.

"He did. I didn't mind having a loose cannon," he stated.

She grinned.

"When will you have the test results from the amnio?" he asked.

"A few days," she whispered. "Better than months."

"What happens if…"

"I'll get a restraining order against Hank," she announced.

"Has it gotten that bad?" he asked.

"He calls every day, leaves messages at work, he's been the paramedic on more calls of late…I'm not sure how he knows when to transport…it's just been too much of a coincidence. Then there's Melissa. She's now leaving messages and wants to meet. She's all but offered to buy this baby…" she pushed the plate away.

"I'm sorry Sara," he said.

"My problem," she said.

"No, it's not," he said grabbing her hand before she could get away.

"It's our problem," he corrected.

She snatched her hand away.

"Right," she muttered.

"Could I come with you?" he asked.

"No."

"Sara, according to your book, you're going to need bed rest. That means off your feet," he cautioned. "I'm sure they're going to want someone to come with you."

"Nick is coming," she said.

He did not like Nick at the moment.

"Nick has court," he said.

"His case got continued," she replied.

Grissom frowned.

"I should be there," he announced.

"You're not going to be there for the same reason Hank isn't," she blurted out.

"Is Nick going to stay with you?" he asked.

"Yes along with Catherine and Warrick. Greg, I'm saving for a fun day. He makes me laugh. I don't feel like laughing these days," she murmured.

"I'm surprised Jim isn't…"

"He offered but I said no," she admitted. "I'm afraid he would slug Hank if he showed up."

_So would I…_

"I've enjoyed dinner," she said. "But, I'm tired and if I'm going to be ready for the amnio then…"

She turned and was surprised when he was already at the door.

She wasn't sure whether she was relieved or disappointed.

She sighed when she heard the dead bolt click.

"You're locked up until you're ready to leave."

"You need to be on the other side of the door," she fumed.

He was there in three strides.

"I'm staying," he announced. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"No."

"Sara, please," he begged.

"Why?"

"I just want to make sure you get plenty of rest. Hank may come back," he said.

She was already worried about that.

"The couch," she seethed.

"Just give me a pillow and…never mind I don't need one," he said.

She turned to hide her grin.

"I'll get you a pillow and a blanket," she offered.

He settled down on the couch as she turned out the lights.

He heard the click of her own light as she settled into bed.

"Sara?"

"I'm sleeping," she moaned.

He got up and walked to the bedroom door. "You'll know the sex of the baby through the amnio?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to let them tell you?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Isn't that kind of spoiling the surprise?" he asked.

"No. I've had enough surprises for a life time."

"Greg just started the baby pool at work. He has a few…"

She rose out of the bed. "What baby pool?"

He came and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"The unit has bets on the birth date, weight and sex."

"Oh."

She was silent for a moment.

"Did you bet?" she asked.

"Yes."

"On what?"

"That it's mine," he said as he leaned over and kissed her.

She looked confused. "Sofia and Brass told me that they were betting it was mine. I didn't want to bet against myself so I agreed."

"And do you believe that?"

"I want to believe," he said softly. "I want to believe more than anything in the world."

"Griss?"

"Hmmm?"

"What if it's not?"

He said nothing.

She pulled up the covers and turned away from him.

"Could I hold you?" he asked.

"No."

"Night Sara," he whispered.

"Night."

He continued to sit there.

"What?" she asked as she rolled over when he did not return to the couch.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" he asked.

"I want a healthy baby," she said.

He nodded.

She opened her eyes.

"What about you?"

"I just want to be the father."

She rolled over to the other side.

She wanted to protest when she felt the bed give as he scooted over to her side and wrapped his arms around her.

She wanted to throw him out.

She couldn't.

She was much too emotional and vulnerable at the moment.

He kissed her on the cheek and tasted salty tears.

His hand gently turned her face toward his as he kissed her on the lips.

"You never mentioned the plant," he whispered.

"Brass brought it in," she replied.

"Did you read the card?" he asked.

"No."

"The last time I sent you a plant I didn't know what to say when asked for the sentiment," he said.

She remained silent.

"I knew what to say this time," he said.

He waited to see if she would ask but she didn't.

He sighed. "Just in case you threw it away....it said 'Forgive me. Love, Grissom.'"

She sniffled.

"Night Sara," he whispered. "I'll just hold you until you fall to sleep."

Note from author:

Grissom is getting better...persistent at least...

Take care


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen:**

She groaned when the alarm went off.

She rolled over and found the bed empty.

She grabbed a shower, dressing quickly and stepped out to find him sitting there freshly dressed and showered.

"Jim brought over some things," he explained.

She glanced back at the bath room and then at him.

"You never woke," he shrugged.

She found her kitchen suddenly stocked.

"What happened?" she asked.

"You have groceries," he announced. "Greg did some shopping. He seemed upset that he was being excluded so I gave him a list. The frozen popsicles were his idea."

He was disappointed when Nick showed.

He was hoping that something would happen and he would cancel.

"Call me if you need me," instructed Grissom.

Grissom glanced at Nick.

He ignored the young man as he purposely leaned over and kissed her in front of Nick.

Nick grinned but kept his eyes on the floor.

Sara blushed.

"Call me," he warned Nick.

"Gotcha boss," he said quietly.

As soon as the door closed, Sara spoke, "Don't ask."

"I didn't say anything. Thought it but I didn't say anything," Nick smirked.

She leaned back on the examining table and took a deep breath.

"Sara, it's important that you remain very still. We're going to monitor the baby's position with the ultrasound. I want you to take a deep breath when I'm ready."

"Is someone outside to take you home?" asked Peggy.

"Nick Stokes, a friend."

"Do you still want us to use your emergency contact if anything should happen and a medical decision needs to be made?" asked Peggy.

"No. Yes. No. You can call him…Gil Grissom," she said quietly.

"I'm confused. Is that a yes?" smirked Peggy.

"Yes Peggy."

"We're going to start in five minutes," she warned.

_Deep breaths Sara…_

_It may be Hank's…_

"_It could be mine right?" Hank asked…_

_Grissom will be hurt if he's not the father… _

"_I want to believe more than anything in the world."_

_He only came around after Hank found out…_

_He may walk away again…_

_Hank and Melissa want this baby…_

_There'll be custody battles…_

_There'll bring up my past…_

"Sara, are you alright?" asked Peggy.

Sara nodded.

Sara closed her eyes and tried to think of something other than the sheer coolness of the room and the fear that enveloped her.

"_You'll turn out like your mother…worthless."_

_Deep breaths…_

_Breathe…_

_I can't breathe…_

_Everything is going to change…_

_Everything…_

"Sara, do not move. I'm going to insert the needle," instructed Peggy.

"Her heart rate is very high," whispered the nurse.

"Sara, I need you to relax," said Peggy. "I'm going to get in and get out as…"

"Blood pressure just shot up," whispered the nurse.

Dr. Martin glanced over as Sara clutched the side of the examining table.

"Sara, what's wrong?" asked Peggy.

"Can't…breathe."

Nick frowned when Grissom stepped into the waiting room and sat down beside him.

"You know she's going to be pissed," warned Nick.

Grissom said nothing as he continued to sit there.

"Griss…"

Nick cursed when Hank showed.

"Now, she's really going to be pissed," pointed out Grissom.

"Nick…" began Hank.

"Leave Hank," glared Nick.

"Not until I know how the amnio went," demanded Hank.

Nick glanced at Grissom.

"Sit down and keep your mouth shut," instructed Nick.

Hank sat down in the corner of the room.

Nick looked at Grissom.

"I'm not saying anything," said Grissom.

"I'm not responsible if she kicks either of you," said Nick.

It happened so quickly there was little time to react.

Nick was called but he soon returned for Grissom. Grissom hurried to the room as Nick fielded questions from Hank.

Grissom took her hand and held it tight.

She heard distant voices as she tried to clear the cobwebs in her head. She wanted to wake but her eye lids were too heavy to lift and so she lay there listening to the soft whispers. She felt a warm hand caress hers and she wanted to roll over and bury her body next to it since she was cold.

_Wake up Sara…_

_Time to face the world…_

_Time to find out…_

Her eyes slowly opened as she moved toward the voices.

Grissom smiled down at her as he squeezed her hand. She tilted her head and saw Brass there.

"Hey, kiddo," he said softly.

"Where am…I?"

"Sara, Dr. Martin had you admitted for observation," explained Grissom.

"Why?"

"Your blood pressure was too high and we felt it was best to admit you," he said.

"Amnio?"

Brass and Grissom exchanged glances.

"I'll let you two talk," said Brass as he leaned over and kissed Sara on the forehead before leaving.

"Did something happen to the baby?" asked Sara quickly.

"No. The baby is fine," he encouraged her.

She relaxed in the bed.

Grissom sat down beside her.

"Sara, I asked Dr. Martin to stop the procedure."

"Why?" she asked angrily.

"You're blood pressure was through the roof, you had a full blown anxiety attack and there were some mild contractions."

"Contractions? You said the baby was fine," she said letting the fear slip out.

"The baby is fine," he said taking her hand into his, fearful another anxiety attack might occur. "You're both fine now. Sara, I couldn't risk it. I was afraid the contractions would continue and it would place the baby at risk if I let Dr. Martin continue."

"You made the right decision," she admitted quietly. "I would have done the same thing."

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Tired," she groaned.

"Try to go back to sleep," he implored. "I'll be here. Dr. Martin said if the blood pressure remains down then you can be home in a few hours."

Sara nodded.

They heard voices outside the room and Sara glanced at Grissom.

It was Hank.

She was learning to hate the sound of his voice.

He released her hand as she watched him step out of the room.

"I have a right to see her!" yelled Hank.

Grissom grabbed Hank by the arm and shoved him down the hall. Brass followed along with Nick.

"The procedure had to be canceled. Sara's blood pressure reached stroke level because of the stress! She started having contractions which is the reason she was admitted," said Grissom in a low voice.

Hank was silent for a moment.

"Is the baby alright?" asked Hank.

"Continue this and you'll put Sara and the baby at risk again. No more Hank. You don't call, come by or have any contact with Sara," warned Grissom.

"You can't stop me…"

"Yes I can and I just did. By your previous history of assault and behavior we can get a restraining order," threatened Grissom.

Grissom turned and walked back into the room.

"You can leave or I can escort you," said Brass with a grin.

Grissom sat back down and took her hand.

"He's gone," soothed Grissom.

"He'll be back," she whispered as she faded off to sleep.

She was quiet as they drove home.

He laid the instructions down on the counter as she sat down on the couch.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked.

"I didn't have the procedure," reminded Sara. "There's no need for you to stay."

"I want to stay," he said quietly as he sat down across from her.

"I want you to leave," she said.

"Sara…"

"Grissom, it would be easier for me if you left now," she explained. "I…uhm..can't count on you."

"So I make one mistake and that's it? Have you ever made a mistake?" he asked sounding cold.

She flinched and he regretted saying it.

"I take full responsibility for this," she said pointing to her abdomen. "You're free to go."

"It's my responsibility also," he demanded. "Sara it could be my child."

"Go."

"Sara…"

"You're no different than Hank," she said.

"I'm tired of you comparing me to Hank! Have I physically hurt you?" he yelled.

"There are all kinds of pain. Some worse than broken bones," she whispered. "Some of the worst pain my father ever inflicted never showed up on an x ray machine."

"Sara, let me help you," he pleaded.

"No."

"Why?" he yelled. "And stop telling me I'm like Hank!"

"You don't love me," she lamented trying to sound strong but feeling very weak.

"Yes, I do!"

"Love is not conditional," she yelled.

"I'm not putting any conditions…" he stopped as he stared at her.

"Yes, you have. It's a package deal, no matter what. I've been waiting for you to accept that. You haven't. You should already know what is going to happen if Hank is the father of this child. It's going to be hell Grissom, but it should not be an ultimatum. I can't go through this pregnancy not knowing what you are going to do if Hank ends up being the father. I love you unconditionally. I need the same from you. I need to know that your love is not going to be dependent on whether you're the father. If you can't love this baby then I can't be with you."

"Sara…" he didn't know what to say. It had taken him years to admit that he loved her. She was the only person he had ever loved and now she was asking him to love someone else.

"I told myself I just wanted this to be over. I needed to know…so do both of you. I lay there and told myself that soon all of this would be over. The amnio would settle this. The thought of losing you scared the hell out of me but then I realized that maybe I never really had you anyway. I'm not sure if you're capable of love. I was willing to accept that before…take what I could get. I can't do that to my child. I grew up in a loveless home life and I won't do that to this child."

She stood briefly running her hand through his hair. Her hand caressed his cheek as she stared into pained blue eyes.

"The door will lock behind you," she said as she went to the bedroom and shut the door.

He felt his own chest heave at that moment.

She had put him in his place and had not even lifted a finger.

He scrambled to his feet and left letting the door shut with a thud. He didn't even bother to take the elevator but instead took the stairs and was glad to be driving away from there as his chest heaved again and again.

Note from author:

Well, you knew that conversation had to happen...

Take care!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

He threw the keys onto the counter as he reached for the bottle of scotch.

He gulped down a glass as his phone rang.

"Grissom"

"How is she?" asked Brass.

"She's uhm…she's at home," he said.

"Where are you?" asked Brass.

"Getting drunk," announced Grissom as he tossed back another gulp.

"What happened?" asked Brass.

"She realized I was a fake," he declared.

"What are you talking about?" asked Brass.

"I was too late," he announced. "I've been too late for years and just never knew it."

The phone clicked as he threw it on the counter.

He sat down in the chair with the bottle to his side.

He had managed to finish off several more glasses by the time the doorbell rang and then footsteps sounded from the entrance.

"I should take the key back," snarled Grissom.

"Want to tell me what happened?" asked Brass.

"I don't know what is going to happen if Hank is the father," said Grissom. "She needs to know that and I can't tell her."

"Who says Hank is the father?" asked Brass.

"What if he is?" countered Grissom.

"Okay, so what if he is? You and Sara will handle it," declared Brass.

"Sara will handle it," said Grissom. "I won't. She knows me better than I know myself."

"That's bullshit. She was testing you and once again you ran," yelled Brass. "You can't sit there and tell me that after watching that baby grow inside Sara, holding Sara's hand when she gives birth and then watching it take its first breath that any test result in a tube is going to mean shit?"

Grissom sat there and said nothing.

"Let me tell you something," said Brass as he grabbed the bottle from Grissom's hand. "Ellie is not mine!"

Grissom looked shocked.

"I knew a few months into the pregnancy that she couldn't be mine. The math didn't add up. None of that mattered when I held her in the delivery room. I took her in my arms and she was mine. I rocked her. I changed her. I cared for her when she was sick. I did everything a biological father would do. That's what made her mine…not the genes."

"You never had to share…"

"I didn't say it was going to be easy. Hank is a pain in the ass. I can't imagine what he's going to be like after the baby is born. The funny thing about babies is they can never get enough love."

"She said I was too late," he stammered.

"Self preservation," explained Brass. "Talk with her."

"What if she prefers Hank?" he asked.

"Sara wants you," said Brass. "Sara wants to kill Hank."

Grissom stood.

"Shower while I make the coffee," ordered Brass.

Grissom emerged an hour later.

Brass handed him a cup of coffee.

He drank it.

"What do I say?" he asked quietly.

"Tell her what she needs to hear," said Brass.

"Lock up after you leave," called Grissom as he headed for the door.

"Don't come back!" yelled Brass.

He knocked on the door despite the hour.

He expected her to appear half asleep but she opened it as if expecting him.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"Is there a need?" she asked.

"Yes, there is," he said as he stepped inside.

He looked around and saw the she had been cleaning.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" he asked.

"Shouldn't you be leaving me alone?" asked Sara.

"Sara…" he fumbled over his words and she sighed. She stepped around him and began arranging the books in the book shelf.

"You like poetry," he said trying to make conversation.

"I like a lot of things," she replied.

"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own," he quoted.

She dropped the book in her hand.

"Fleur Conkling Heylinger," he whispered. "Some people say it better than others."

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"Marry me Sara," he said. "I want both of you."

She stood there motionless.

"I have a few more quotes," he offered. "In case you didn't understand that I don't care if I'm the father. A good friend of mine reminded me that genes do not make a father…it's actions. I have a lot to make up for."

"What about Hank?" she asked.

"Do you love him?" he asked.

"I never loved Hank! I loved you! I wanted you but you kept turning me down…pushing me away and then when I went to your home and saw Sofia…I gave up Grissom. It hurt too damn much to be the only one trying. I saw Sofia and thought I would never have you. I was a mess after I left your house. I walked around for hours and then I called Hank. He came and got me. We went back to my apartment. I couldn't even blame it on the alcohol. I was completely sober. I just wanted to feel something…anything."

She slipped down in the chair no longer sure of her legs as she felt herself shaking.

"You're wondering how I could have sex with someone I didn't love. I closed my eyes and imagined it was you! Now you know every detail," she said. "Now, you know what I think about every single moment of every day. I relive that moment but it's always with the what ifs. What if I had not gone to your house? What if I had confronted Sofia? What if I had never called Hank to come and get me? What if I had just called you? What if I had said no to Hank? What if I had just had an abortion and never told anyone? What if…"

"You could never do that," he corrected.

"No, I couldn't because the despite the hell this pregnancy has caused in my life, I want this baby…no matter who the father is," she admitted. "It's mine. Not yours or Hank's."

He sat down on the couch and took her hand.

"This is not just your responsibility. It's mine also," he said. "If I had opened the door that night then…I saw you in the red dress with Hank and I thought I was too late. I came home and started drinking. I thought I had lost you."

He sat there caressing her hand.

"Sara, I don't care," he pleaded. "I don't care if the baby is not mine."

She breathed in deeply.

She wanted to believe him.

"Marry me," he asked.

A single tear slipped down as she shook her head.

"Why uhm not?" he pleaded.

"You wouldn't have asked if I wasn't pregnant," she said. "Marriage has to be based on…"

"I love you Sara," he blurted out. "I've always loved you."

She swallowed the lump. "I uhm don't believe you."

It hurt.

"I don't know how to convince you," he confessed.

"I uhm…don't know if you can," she admitted. "You leaving that day…you broke my heart." She said between gulps. "I uhm still love you but you can't hurt me anymore."

"I won't," he declared. "Give me a chance to show you."

She sat there watching his hand caress hers.

"Sara?"

"I uhm scared of this," she whispered.

"Don't be," he soothed.

"I uhm believed you before…let you back in…but then you left and…I can't do this to myself anymore…I have to think about the baby," she said.

"I won't hurt you," he whispered.

She said nothing as his hand continued to caress hers.

He watched as a droplet of water fell upon their hands.

It was followed by another.

He reached up and gently swiped the tears away.

"I need you to go," she whispered.

"Couldn't I stay?" he asked softly.

She shook her head.

"Sara, please let me stay," he begged.

"I uhm need to think through some things," she managed to get out.

"You sure?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Call me if you need anything?" he asked.

She was already at the door before he could finish.

He knew she wouldn't.

He hesitated a moment before stepping outside the apartment.

She shut the door and he felt as if she had given him little hope.

_What did you expect?_

_If you hadn't pushed her away…._

_There would be no doubt…_

_This would be a happy time…_

Brass sat there in the chair when Grissom stepped through the door.

"I told you not to come back," he griped.

"She wouldn't let me stay," grumbled Grissom.

"Did you…"

"She doesn't trust me…I don't blame her," admitted Grissom.

"I guess you have your work cut out for you," said Brass.

"I'm not sure she wants…" he stopped and did not finish.

"We need to talk about Hank," said Brass.

"He's the last person I want to talk about," said Grissom.

"Warrick and Nick are concerned about Sara's safety," said Brass.

Grissom sat down across from him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Nick was there when Sara's wrist was broken. He says Hank was out of control. Warrick said he practically had to pull Hank off Sara in her office. He blocked her path so she couldn't…"

"She never said anything," said Grissom.

"And this surprises you?" asked Brass.

"She won't let me help her," replied Grissom sounding frustrated.

"I think we need to talk with Ecklie," said Brass. "Get Hank restricted in the lab…at least near Sara."

"She should have filed charges against Hank when he broke her wrist," fumed Grissom.

"She blamed herself," said Brass. "She broke it off with him. I'm worried she may get hurt."

"She's not going to like us talking with Ecklie," said Grissom.

"Which is why I'm going to do it," said Brass. "Your name is mud with her right now. I just wanted you to know…be aware."

Grissom nodded.

She was surprised when she saw Nick standing beside her desk.

"Hey Sar!" he called.

"Did I miss a dinner date or something?" she asked.

"I've missed you," he said.

She stared at him.

"You're here to talk about Hank again," she said.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk about this but…"

"I made a mistake. I should have filed charges," she said.

He stood there dumbfounded.

"How rough did he get the other day?" asked Nick.

"I thought I could handle Hank…not now…not when I'm pregnant. He uhm won't get another chance."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," said Nick. "Stay away from him."

"Believe me. He is the last person I want to see at the moment," said Sara.

"Anything I can do?" asked Nick.

"No Nicky, I'm fine," she said. "Really."

"Call me if you need anything," he said.

She sat down in her seat and pulled out the reports.

"Sara," called Ecklie as he popped his head around the corner.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Could I speak with you in private?" he asked.

She followed Ecklie to his office and shut the door.

"Is something wrong, Conrad?" she asked.

"I heard about Hank Pettigrew," he said.

"I'm not sure…"

"I uhm I know I shouldn't listen to rumors but I heard he broke your wrist," said Ecklie.

"He uhm did," she admitted.

"He has a temper," he finished.

"Yes, he does," she said.

"Sara, I'm not going to sit around and have one of my employees bullied. If he's causing any problems…"

"He uhm got out of hand the other day. I don't expect him to come back here after Warrick talked with him."

"I want you to tell me immediately if he tries to harass you," instructed Ecklie.

"I will," she said.

He watched as she disappeared.

Ecklie picked up the phone and called Grissom. "Gil, I'll have security keep an eye on Pettigrew. You know, Jim had already spoken with me about this."

"This is my responsibility," replied Grissom. "I want to thank you Conrad for everything you've done for Sara and...our child."

Ecklie smiled. "Congratulations, Sara never mentioned..."

"She was protecting me. I don't care about that. I care about Sara."

"I'm glad to hear that," answered Ecklie.

There was a moment of silence.

"Gil?"

"Yes?"

"It's worth the risk."

"Yes, it is," Grissom said.

Note from author:

Thanks for the reviews.

Take care


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen:**

She smiled when graveyard was called in to help on a bus wreck.

Greg handed her a cup and she grimaced.

"I can't drink coffee anymore," she said.

"Taste it," he said.

She took a sip and smiled. "This is good!"

"It's a fruit smoothie," he grinned. "One hundred percent fruit juice with a scoop of ice cream."

"You're the best," she smiled.

"I know. That's why all the girls love me," he said as he walked away.

They arrived on the site while the paramedics from the different hospitals assessed the injuries and readied the patients for transport. Sara and the others stood off to the side.

"This seems familiar," said Nick.

"Yeah, I remember the last bus wreck we worked," said Greg. "I forgot my coat and almost froze."

"That's right," remembered Sara.

"So what do we have?" asked Grissom as he arrived on the scene.

Sara kept her gaze from him.

"Bodies…lots of bodies," sighed Sara.

"Want to run it?" he asked.

"I'm not a control freak," she replied.

Jeffrey coughed.

"I heard that Jeffrey," she said.

"Sorry, I have a cold," he lied.

"Right," she laughed.

She finished off the smoothie.

"My group will take this end and meet you guys in the middle," she offered.

"Let's get to work," said Grissom.

They made their way down to the bodies.

Sara began taking photos near the bus.

She glanced up and saw Hank.

He looked at her briefly and then returned to work.

She turned and practically ran into Grissom.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"Yes…why wouldn't I be?" she asked.

Grissom frowned but continued working.

An hour passed as they continued documenting the scene.

The bodies were slowly carried away.

Sara stepped inside the bus but was quickly blocked by Grissom.

"I'll check," he said.

"There's no reason…"

"I'll just be a minute," he said.

He fumed when she followed.

He slowly made his way to the back of the bus and then turned.

"Nothing," he reported.

Sara started back but stopped.

She reached down and picked up an object.

"Did anyone see a baby?" she asked.

"No," he replied.

She turned and he noticed the bottle in her hand.

They made their way out of the bus.

"I'll check with the driver," she said.

She hurried over to the driver.

"Sir! Was there a baby on the bus?" she asked.

He held the bandage on his head. "Yes, it was in a car seat," said the driver.

Sara turned to head back to Grissom but found herself face to face with Hank.

"What do you think you were doing on that bus?" he growled.

"Doing my job. Listen Hank, was there a baby transported?" she asked.

"Baby?" he asked.

"We found a bottle. The driver confirmed there was a baby on board," she said.

"I'll check with the hospitals," he said quickly.

Sara hurried past him. "Hank is checking the rosters to see if a baby was transported," said Sara.

"Ask some of the other survivors if they remember…" Grissom was interrupted by Hank.

"No baby!" he yelled.

Grissom and Sara exchanged glances.

Brass yelled for all persons on the site to gather around.

"We're looking for a baby!" yelled Brass. "It may still be in a carseat."

The others started searching the area.

Sara stared at the broken glass on the bus. She glanced around the side of the bus as she slowly followed the path the bus would have taken as it drove off the highway. She turned and saw Jeffrey following her.

"You think it may still be alive?" he asked.

Sara did not reply.

"I have a nine month old son," he whispered.

"Every minute we don't find it…" she stopped when she saw the overturned carseat.

"Jeffrey, go get a medic," she urged.

Sara knelt down beside the car seat.

Her hand gently felt for the baby.

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard a soft cry.

"Hank!" she yelled.

He and the others came running toward Sara.

Sara gently supported the baby's neck as she slowly turned the car seat over.

"I uprighted the seat…I supported its neck," she said.

Hank glanced at her worried expression.

"You did good Sara," said Hank.

The baby did not move.

Hank felt for the baby's pulse as his hands tried to unfasten the belts to remove the baby.

"Get a crash cart!" he yelled.

Sara dropped to her knees.

"Is it…" she did not finish.

"There's a pulse…it's just a precaution," he explained.

One of the other guys ran back toward the ambulance.

Sara watched as Hank gently examined the baby's body.

The baby wailed and began to thrash about.

The others sighed.

"Just had to get him riled up…looks like he's going to be fine," said Hank smiling as the baby continued to wail.

He gently removed the baby from the carseat placing it on the ground.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Checking for broken bones," he said. "There could still be internal injuries."

Her hand came down and caressed the baby's head.

The baby instinctively turned and looked at Sara.

"She turned my head when I first saw her too," said Hank. "That's it, Sara. Keep him distracted."

The baby wailed when he examined his legs.

"Possible broken leg," said Hank.

Hank gently picked him up as the baby cried.

"Try holding him," he said.

"Me?" she asked backing away.

"Better get used to this," he chided. "I've had lots of practice with nieces and nephews."

Sara hadn't.

She could not remember a time when she held a baby.

He tried to hand the baby to Sara but she refused.

"I don't know how…I might hurt him," she sniffled.

"You won't. He seems to respond to you," soothed Hank. "Just hold him, Sara."

He gently placed the baby in her arms.

Sara held him tightly against her. His wails slowed as his little hands grabbed hold of hers.

She smiled.

She turned as Grissom placed a blanket around the baby.

"I found this several feet away," explained Grissom.

Grissom glanced down and smiled. "Good job Sara."

She nodded.

"He has blue eyes," she whispered.

Grissom glanced down. "Yes…he does."

Grissom wrapped his arm protectively around Sara as he led her to the ambulance.

Hank walked on the other side as he kept an eye on the baby.

"She looks like a natural," said Hank to Grissom.

"Yes, she does," he replied.

"I think he just wet on me," she complained.

"Better you than me," chuckled Hank.

Sara grinned.

Once they arrived at the ambulance she handed the baby to the other medic.

Hank got inside the ambulance.

"Be careful," Hank said to Sara.

"Thanks Hank," she said.

Hank nodded as he shut the door.

"You did look like a natural," whispered Grissom.

"I'm hungry," she confided.

A member from her team handed her an apple.

"You have them trained well," snorted Grissom.

"They know I get grouchy when I get hungry," she said.

"No kidding," called out Jeffrey.

"I heard that," she called.

Jeffrey laughed.

"He reminds me of Greg," she whispered.

They worked into a double.

Brass offered to send out for sandwiches but Sara declined.

"I'll wait," she said as she looked over the crime scene.

"You okay?" asked Brass.

"The baby's parents were located," she said. "They didn't make it. Social services is trying to find next of kin."

"Everything okay with Hank tonight?" he asked.

"Good. No problems," she replied.

"Don't let your guard down," reminded Brass.

"Jim, I don't think he would hurt me…I could be carrying his child," she said.

"Promise me," he said.

"Fine. Promise," she said as she picked up her kit.

"Hey Sara?" called Jim.

"Yeah?"

"We could have dinner at the diner," he offered.

"Shower and a change," she replied. "Then I'll be ready."

Sara stepped into the lab and found a note from Ecklie.

She handed the evidence to Jeffrey and Roberts.

She stopped suddenly when she rounded the corner and saw that her desk was gone.

She turned suddenly and came face to face with Ecklie.

"I had your things moved," he explained.

"Moved?" she asked.

"To your new office," he said.

She followed him down the hall and he opened the door to an office.

"A supervisor needs more space than a desk in the back corner," he announced.

"Supervisor?" she asked.

"Yes," he said.

She looked around the office and smiled when she noticed she had a large desk.

"You deserve it Sara," he said.

"Thanks Conrad," she gulped.

"There's a box of supplies you can return to graveyard," he pointed out.

She grinned. "I'll do that."

Ecklie started to leave when she called out.

"Hey Conrad, we're going to the diner. Could you join us?" she asked.

He smiled. "I think the grapevine would say that hell froze over if I did that. Another time," he chuckled. "I promised Elizabeth I would come home early. Morning sickness has been bad."

He started to leave but stopped. "She been enjoying every moment of it."

Sara smiled. "I'm happy for you."

"Take care, Sara," said Ecklie as he left.

She showered and then made her way to the main lobby when she heard a round of applause. Everyone from graveyard stood there clapping.

"Ecklie sent out a memo," announced Grissom. "It's probably the only one I've read this year."

The guys chuckled.

Sara beamed.

"So does this mean the meal is on you?" asked Greg.

"In your dreams," she teased. "I doubt the supervisor pay will be much different than the CSI III pay."

"It's not," said Grissom. "Which is why Jim is paying."

They glanced at Jim.

"You guys are always so cheap," he growled.

They chuckled as they headed out the door.

Sara's head bobbed over landing on Nick's shoulder. He gently wrapped his arm around her as she let her eyes close. Greg leaned over and whispered to Sara.

"You could lean on me," he offered.

"I trust Nick's hands," replied Sara. "Not yours."

Nick chuckled.

Grissom pretended not to notice how she turned her body inward toward Nick.

"Wake me when the food gets here," yawned Sara.

Heads popped up when Hank walked into the diner. He sat down with a woman. Grissom recognized the woman as Melissa. He had seen them before.

Hank glanced over and saw Sara asleep.

He glared at Nick but said nothing as he picked up a menu.

The food arrived and Nick gently nudged Sara.

"I'm awake," she groaned.

"Sure you are," smirked Greg.

"Greg, get your hand off my knee," warned Sara.

"She's awake," announced Greg.

Warrick laughed.

Sara took a bite and moaned.

All eyes shot to her.

"This is good," she said.

She took another bite and moaned.

"Could you not do that," said Nick. "I suddenly need a shower."

Greg grinned. "It doesn't bother me."

"Sorry," she said. "The food taste good and I'm starving."

She finished off the sandwich and the fruit cup.

She glanced up and saw Hank with Melissa.

Grissom watched for her reaction.

She turned away and took a few fries from Greg.

"This was good guys, but I need sleep," she admitted.

She started to scoot out but Nick blocked her.

"Nick, I need to leave," said Sara.

"Not without one of us," said Nick.

"Look this is ridiculous. He's having dinner with…Melissa," she said. "He's not going to cause any trouble."

"Not taking any chances," said Warrick.

Sara glanced at Brass.

"We're almost done," said Brass.

"I'm finished," said Grissom.

"No thanks," she said. "I'll wait…" she stopped when she saw Hank get up. She tensed for a moment but then he left the diner leaving Melissa.

"See, he left," said Sara. "He probably got called back in."

Sara tried to slip out but Greg wouldn't budge until Brass motioned for him to move.

"I don't need a babysitter," huffed Sara.

Sara hurried out of the diner.

She did not stop until she was back inside the lab.

She grabbed some reports and headed toward the door but was stopped by Hodges.

She spent the next hour reviewing evidence before she was finally able to slip out the door.

"What are you still doing here?" asked Nick.

"I got caught by Hodges," she said.

"Go home," he said.

"I'm leaving…right now…no I'm not," she said as she glanced down and noticed her tire was flat.

"Shit!" she yelled.

Nick walked over and assessed the tire.

"Come on. I'll drive you home," he said leading her by the arm.

She got out of the car and glared as Nick followed her.

"Nick, this is not necessary," she argued.

"I'm walking you to your door," he insisted.

They climbed the stairs when the elevator refused to budge. She unlocked her door and stared.

"Nick."

He quickly looked inside and pulled out his revolver, pulling her to the side.

Nick held her behind him as he walked through the apartment.

The living room had been trashed.

Sara stared at the bedroom.

The bed covers were shredded.

"Think we're being too cautious now?" he asked as they looked around the room.

Note from author:

Well, that was a surprise...I think.

Take care


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen:**

Sara groaned as she glanced around at the mess.

"I just washed those sheets," she said trying to lighten the air.

"Sara, you can't stay here," Nick said.

"I'll get a room," she decided.

"You don't need to be alone," he advised.

She started to sit down on the bed but he grabbed her.

"I'll call it in," he said. "Don't touch anything."

She was sitting in the hallway when Brass and Grissom finished their inventory of the apartment.

They said nothing as she leaned her head up against the wall.

Brass knelt down and looked at her.

"You okay?" he asked.

"You know, there are enough of you here. Lock up when you're done," she said as she stood.

"Where are you going?" asked Grissom.

"I'm going to find a place to sleep," she said.

Grissom glanced at Brass and then followed Sara inside the apartment.

He watched as she grabbed an overnight bag and began throwing some things inside. Once done, she headed out the door.

Grissom followed.

They got half way down the hall when she whirled around to face him.

"Stop following me," she barked.

"Sara, you're exhausted. Come and stay at my place…I have an extra room," he offered.

"I believe that is being occupied by Sofia and Jim," she said as she headed down the hall.

"Stay with me," he pleaded.

"No."

He cursed and it took her by surprise.

It was not often that Gil Grissom lost his temper.

She stepped inside the elevator and it was her turn to curse when he followed.

She pushed the button and waited for the elevator to move.

She leaned against the wall as it headed down.

It jerked and came to a grinding halt.

She glanced at Grissom.

"It will start in a minute," she said.

They waited.

It remained caught between floors.

She banged on the buttons.

She paced.

Grissom flipped out his phone.

"Jim, we're stuck in the elevator," he said.

He pulled the phone away from his ear as he heard Brass chuckle.

"Are you through laughing? Get someone to fix it," he demanded as he closed the phone.

Sara banged on the buttons again.

"Sara, that's not going to accomplish anything," he pointed out.

She yanked on the door and then began to pace once more.

"Sara…"

He looked at her and saw the sheer terror.

"They'll get us out," he assured her.

She continued to pace until he grabbed her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't like being confined," she whispered.

"Claustrophobic?" he asked.

"No…I just want out!" she wailed as she attempted to pull away from him.

He gently pulled her down into the floor.

"Lean against me," he whispered.

She felt her back against his as his arms gently held her.

"Close your eyes," he whispered.

She took a deep breath and gave in to the exhaustion.

His hand gently stroked her hair.

"Better?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"May I?" he asked.

Her eyes shot open as his hand hovered above her abdomen.

She nodded slowly.

She thought he would just lay his hand over her blouse but instead, his hand slipped underneath the blouse as skin touched skin.

She tried not to react.

His hand was warm and soft as it caressed the small bulge.

He sucked in air when he felt the small bulge move.

He kissed her lightly on the head.

He tapped lightly on her abdomen and then chuckled when the baby responded.

She started to move away when he pulled her closer.

"Just rest Sara," he said softly. "I'll watch over both of you while you sleep."

Her breath caught at his words.

She felt him turning her so that he cradled her in his arms.

She kept her eyes closed as he continued to stroke her hair.

Hours passed before the door finally slid open.

Grissom cursed when he saw Hank standing there.

He glanced around catching sight of Brass and Nick.

Hank walked in immediately and knelt down.

"We're required to check any person trapped in an elevator," he whispered.

He reached for Sara's wrist but Grissom blocked him.

"I take it you're the other guy," fumed Hank.

"Actually I thought you were," replied Grissom.

"Just let me do my job," he whispered softly. "I just want to make sure she and the baby are okay."

"She panicked," said Grissom. "She doesn't like confined places."

"I know," whispered Hank.

It surprised Grissom but he said nothing.

Hank took her wrist and checked her pulse.

He pulled out his stethoscope and placed it on her chest.

Grissom and Hank exchanged glances.

"Heart rate is good," he said. "Need to check her blood pressure."

Grissom had to gently shift her.

"I'm awake!" she blurted out.

"Does she always wake with such enthusiasm," teased Nick.

She seemed startled with Hank so near causing her to recoil into Grissom.

She continued to be startled when she realized she was curled into Grissom's lap.

It was an awkward moment as she tried to distance herself from both of them.

"I'm fine Hank," she reported as she started to get up.

Hank blocked her.

She shifted to the other side but was then blocked by Grissom.

"Sara, sit still," said Grissom.

She huffed but sat there on the floor as she leaned her body against the wall.

Hank glanced at her concerned. "Sara, you're pressure is high."

"That's nonsense," she argued. "I don't have a problem with my blood pressure."

"How high?" asked Grissom.

"It wouldn't hurt to check it again in a few minutes," said Hank.

Sara started to get up but Grissom pulled her back down.

"Stay still!" Grissom ordered.

"Look, if you think sitting here on the floor with the two of you isn't enough to…"

Brass stepped forward and helped Sara to her feet.

"Keep them away from me," she muttered.

"You should have your OB check it again," Hank said following. "You feel okay?"

"Tired but good," she said yawning.

"Look, these doubles are not good…"

"I've cut down," she protested.

"The baby…from the bus wreck is in stable condition," he reported. "Broken leg…nothing more."

"Parents died," she added.

"I heard," Hank replied. "What happened to your apartment? The officers wouldn't say anything."

"Someone flattened Sara's tires and then she came home and found her apartment trashed," Brass replied.

All eyes were on Hank.

Hank's head snapped around. "You think I did this?"

"Well, now that you've posed the question, care to answer?" asked Brass.

"No!"

Hank hurried after Sara but he was blocked.

"I didn't do this!" he yelled after her. "Look, whoever did this may come back; she doesn't need to stay here."

"She's staying with me," said Grissom as he followed after her.

"I didn't check you," blurted out Hank.

"No, you didn't," said Grissom as he kept on walking.

Sara did not say anything until they were in his vehicle.

"Drop me off at a hotel," she said yawning.

"No."

She gawked at him.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"No."

"You can't force me…" She yawned again.

"Yes, I can and I just did," he said.

"I'm not going to put up with…" she yawned again.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"Go back to sleep," he ordered.

She did.

He pulled into the driveway and glanced over at her.

He attempted to lift her but she woke immediately.

"Put me down," she demanded.

"Come inside," he said as he grabbed her bag.

He closed the door and watched as she glanced around the room.

He threw his keys down on the counter and started to lead her to the bedroom but she stopped.

"This is not a good idea," she whispered.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I should go," she said starting to back away.

"Sara, let me do this one thing for you," he urged.

She looked like a frightened animal about to bolt.

"Just sleep," he encouraged. "You and the baby need rest."

She looked down and was not even aware her hands were wrapped around the small bulge.

"Just this once," she heard herself say.

He cautiously took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

"Wait, this is yours," she said.

"I'll sleep on the couch," he promised. "The blinds will keep out the light."

"Oh," she said.

He pulled down the covers and she slipped into the bathroom with the overnight bag.

When she returned he sat there on the bed.

"You won't sleep on the couch," she said.

"You need sleep more than I do," he said. He gently pulled her to him as he caressed her abdomen. "It was worth getting trapped in the elevator…I got to feel the baby."

He stood now and let her pass as she climbed into the bed.

"Need anything?" he asked.

She shook her head as she lay on her side.

"I'll wake you a few hours," he said.

"Griss?"

"Yes?" he asked quickly hoping she would allow him to stay.

"Thank you," she said.

"Night," he called.

"It's really day," she corrected closing her eyes.

"Not in here," he said as he started to shut the door.

"Don't shut the door!" she blurted out.

He stared at her for a moment.

"It gets really dark in here, doesn't it?" she asked.

"Yes, it does," he admitted.

"Just crack it," she whispered.

"Call me if you need anything," he said.

He was sure she was asleep by the time he made it to the living room.

He stretched out and closed his eyes.

He was awakened later when the door opened and Brass stepped inside.

"Is she here?" he asked.

"My bedroom," he whispered.

Brass sat down. "We may owe Hank Pettigrew an apology."

"How so?" asked Grissom.

"Sara had a nail in her tire…nothing suspicious," said Brass. "The fingerprints found in the apartment matched a person by the name of Vincent Hopkins. It seems Mr. Hopkins was picked up tonight for disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. He was dating someone in Sara's apartment building until he was dumped. He got drunk , and decided to trash the apartment. Unfortunately he got the wrong apartment number."

Grissom sighed.

"I thought Hank did it too," Brass said.

"At least she's here where I can keep an eye on her," said Grissom.

"Look, I'm worried about her," said Brass.

"Don't be," said Sara as she strolled into the room.

Grissom gulped as he noticed she was wearing his robe.

"Nice robe," chuckled Brass.

"I forgot to bring mine," she explained.

She followed the guys into the kitchen.

"Listen Kiddo…"

"I'm fine," she said. "I'm not going back to my apartment until…"

"Hank didn't do it," said Grissom.

Brass glared at Grissom.

Sara stared at Grissom.

He quickly explained the mix up.

She seemed relieved.

"Good, I can go back today," she said.

"About that…" began Brass. "I think you should stay here."

Brass glared at Grissom. Grissom spoke up quickly. "Yes, it would be best if you…"

Sara interrupted Grissom. "I'm not staying here."

Grissom turned to hide his disappointment.

Brass glared at Sara this time.

"Look, Hank is becoming a big pest. You don't need the stress," he explained.

"Which is why I'm going to talk with my O.B and reschedule the amnio."

Grissom dropped the spatula.

"No!" he boomed.

She stared at him in disbelief.

Note from author:

Oh, okay, so why do I feel like a huge confrontation is about to occur? Of course fluff follows...yeah that white fluffy stuff I try so hard to keep away...

Take care!


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter twenty:**

He turned and his expression caused her to inch away from the counter.

"You are not having an amnio!" he yelled.

She squared her shoulders and Brass fumed.

Brass knew Sara was about to unleash her fury on Grissom.

He stepped between them.

"You don't tell me what to do!" she yelled.

"I just did," he barked.

Brass said nothing as he monitored the blow by blow.

"No, you didn't!" she shot back.

"You're stubborn!" snipped Grissom.

Brass smirked.

"You're immature!" she announced.

"I am not!" Grissom glared.

"You didn't come around until Hank did…you threw me away like some discarded toy but the moment Hank showed up, you're right there wanting me back."

Brass found himself nodding and Grissom shot him a dirty look.

Sara tossed her head up in the air in defiance.

"You've let your pride cloud your judgment!" Grissom bellowed.

"My pride? You're the one that walked out the moment I told you I slept with Hank!" she yelled.

Brass cringed.

"You're not as smart as I thought you were! I left because I wanted that baby to be mine…not Hank's! I didn't give a damn that you slept with him," he seethed.

"You have just as much chance as Hank!...maybe more….Hank and I only…we uhm…" she stuttered through the explanation but both men got the jest.

Hank and Sara had sex once while she and Grissom had made love several times.

Brass stood there flushed.

"Hank is younger," shot back Grissom.

Sara rolled her eyes causing Grissom's fury to erupt.

Brass stood ready to intercede.

"I never wanted to get involved with you!" yelled Grissom.

Brass cursed as Sara gasped.

"You came to me!" she shrieked.

"I've always thought I was too old for you. I told you to get a life! What did you get? Hank!"

"What did you get? Lady Heather?" she shot back.

Alarm bells went off in Brass's head.

"Okay, kids. I think we need to…"

"At least Heather doesn't let her emotions get in the way…"

He didn't finish as Sara stood bracing herself on the counter.

"At least I have emotions!" she screamed.

"That's the second time you've accused me of not feeling anything!" he fumed.

"Fine. You have feelings…just not for me," she pouted.

Brass glared at Grissom.

"Do you think I would be standing here in a shouting match with a witness if I didn't have feelings for you?" he yelled.

"Heather wasn't the first…there were others," she sneered.

"Okay…let's just clear the air," shouted Grissom.

Alarm bells sounded again as Brass waved his arms as if to stop the argument but Sara shoved one of them down.

"Go for it bugman," she glared.

Brass covered the chuckle that wanted to escape.

"What did you call me?" he asked.

"You heard me," she said proudly.

"Stooping to name calling," he shot back.

"Clear the air," she challenged.

"I dated women. What's wrong with that?" he glared.

"You wouldn't even give me the time of day!" she shrieked.

"I'm your boss!" he said condescending.

"Don't use that tone with me!" she warned. "You can use it with the guys or Hodges but don't you think for a moment that I'll not kick your ass."

Grissom smirked and it infuriated Sara.

"I could easily put you on your ass," she threatened.

Brass looked at Grissom as if he was going to kick his ass for her.

"I dated…just dates. I thought you'd do the same. I wanted you to find someone your age…to marry…have children," he said without shouting.

"I didn't want that!" she groaned. "I wanted you!"

"Well, now you have me!" he yelled.

"You'll run as soon as the paternity test comes back that it's Hank," she sniveled.

"See! Even you think…"

"No! I don't! I just meant…I can't count on you!" she groaned.

"Yes, you can!" he sighed letting the aggravation seep through.

"This is the very reason why I want the amnio. You'll have to put up or shut up," she said.

"So, you're just waiting for me to screw up again!" he yelled.

"It wouldn't be the first time!" she said.

"If it's a confession you need Sara then fine, I screwed up! I refused to let myself have you until it was almost too late. I didn't handle the pregnancy news very well. It must be nice to be you, Sara…to never screw up! What was Hank?"

Brass glanced at Grissom and then Sara.

When she did not respond, Brass stepped toward her.

"I screwed up," she whispered. "I screwed up by pretending Hank was you….by sleeping with him because I couldn't have you. Now, I'm paying for it….only this baby is caught in the middle. My father was right," she breathed as she stood there not caring that she had begun to cry.

"Sara, that's not true," said Brass.

Grissom cursed inwardly. "Sara…"

"I screwed up…more than you ever did," she said to Grissom.

She hurried to the bedroom, slamming the door.

Brass turned to Grissom.

"Get your ass in there and grovel!" demanded Brass.

"I can't believe I said that," said Grissom not wishing to see her cry.

"You knew she felt guilty for sleeping with Hank but you just had to throw it in her face," fumed Brass.

Grissom marched toward the bedroom.

He was thankful there was no lock on the door.

He tapped before entering.

She lay there curled on the bed.

"Sara, I'm sorry," he began.

"Leave me alone Grissom," she sniffled.

"I think I've done that one too many times," he said as he crossed the room and sat down beside her.

He gently stroked her hair.

"You shouldn't feel guilty…this is my fault. This is my penance for …waiting so long…for hurting you all these years. I don't deserve to have a child. I don't know why you put up with me…perhaps you're done trying…"

"Shut up," she said.

He grinned slightly.

"I want the amnio," she wept.

"The last time you had a full blown anxiety attack," Grissom reminded her. "You scared the hell out of me when the contractions began!"

"I need the amnio," she begged. "I can't go on like this."

"Then don't. Let's never talk about this again. Let's focus on getting married and having this baby. We'll face whatever happens together."

She shook her head.

"Why not?" he groaned.

"I need the amnio," she said.

"I don't! Sara, please. What if it happens again? Are you willing to risk your life or the baby's?"

"I'll uhm talk with Peggy…I'll accept whatever she says."

He didn't like it.

"Hank is going to be…"

She rolled over and faced the wall.

"Sara…"

"I just want to lay here for a moment…then I'll shower and leave," she said.

"Stay," he pleaded.

She shook her head.

He cursed.

"I'm sorry I upset you," he whispered.

"I'm sorry I did this…to us," she lamented.

"You didn't!"

"I don't want to fight anymore," she admitted. "Please…stop."

"Can I get you anything? You've not eaten," he pointed out.

"I'll get something later," she said.

"Nonsense," he said. "I'll just…"

"Griss?"

"Yes?"

"Could you hold me?" she whispered.

It was the first time she had asked for anything.

He spooned his body to hers and wrapped his arms around her.

"You were right. I was trying to tell you what to do," he admitted.

"You're concerned," she agreed.

"I'm worried," he replied.

He felt her smile and he hugged her tighter.

"I'm not stubborn," she announced.

"I'm not immature," he proclaimed.

"My judgment is not clouded either," she said. "I'm uhm trying to be fair…neutral."

"It hurts. I feel like you're rejecting me," he whispered.

"I am," she replied.

"Ouch," he said out loud.

"Only until the amnio results," she explained.

"Now who's placing conditions on our relationship?" he countered.

"Self preservation," she admitted.

"Sara, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here…for as long as you'll put up with me," he said.

She was quiet for a moment.

"You really didn't care that I slept with Hank?"

"I lied. I do…but it's my fault…not yours," he emphasized.

"I want this baby to be yours," she cried. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with Hank. I just want to…kick his ass."

He grinned. "I'm glad at least you're neutral about your feelings as well."

"No, I'm not. I never loved Hank. I love you. How do I explain that to my child, Grissom? How do I explain that it was not conceived in love? I mean if it's Hank. I don't want it to be Hank's. I don't want to fight over visitation or custody or…"

She found herself gasping for air.

"Breathe in slowly…just relax…Sara, please don't have the amnio," he begged. "I'll talk with Hank. We'll come to some agreement."

Her shoulders shook.

"Please don't….are you laughing?" he asked in amazement.

"You talk with Hank? That would be like me talking with Heather…did you sleep with her?" she asked.

"I can talk with Hank….my relationship with Heather is not up for discussion," he said.

She rose slightly. "You uhm slept with Heather?"

"Sara…"

She scrambled out of the bed.

"I need a shower," she pouted.

"Sara, stop!" he said trying to scramble off the bed since he knew there was a lock on the bathroom door.

He attempted to catch her but it was too late.

He heard the click of the lock.

"Sara, please let me in," he pleaded.

"Get away from me, Grissom. You slept with Heather but you couldn't even have dinner with me!" she yelled.

"Sara, let me explain," he banged.

"You'll have to get through that door…before I…go away!" she shouted.

He fumed.

"This is childish!" he yelled.

"You're a…."

The word was lost on the sound of the shower turning on.

_Wonder what she called me?_

_Well, two can play at this game…_

Grissom hurried to the kitchen.

Brass sat there with a coffee cup.

"Out of the doghouse?" he asked.

"Could you fix breakfast…waffles…she likes waffles…with strawberries…you can make waffles, right?" asked Grissom.

Grissom fished out something from a drawer and then took off toward the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" asked Brass.

"She locked the bathroom," he said holding up the key.

_Going to get his ass kicked…_

_A friend would warn him…_

Brass chuckled.

_He deserves an ass kicking…_

There was a tap at the front door and Brass smiled as he kissed Sofia.

"Just in time to make waffles," he said pulling her inside.

"I came so I can cook breakfast for you?" she scoffed.

"No, you came so you can cook breakfast for Sara and Grissom," he said.

"Where are they?" she asked looking around.

"Sara locked the bathroom door…Grissom has a key. Just a slight lover's spat," he said with a smile.

"He shouldn't…you should warn him…you're not going to are you?" she said with a slight grin.

"He deserves this," chuckled Brass.

She stood there in the shower and cursed when she heard the door click.

"Get out Grissom!"

"We're not finished talking," he said.

"Don't come near me!" she demanded.

"Or what?" he challenged.

He grabbed the shower door and opened it.

She felt self conscious as she stood there naked in the shower.

She turned away from him and began to wash her hair.

He smiled at her naked form.

"Stop looking at me!" she stormed.

"You're beautiful…even more when you're mad," he teased.

"Go away," she ordered.

"I didn't sleep with Heather…I slept with her but I didn't have sex with her," he tried to clarify.

Sara turned around.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"I didn't have sex with her," he admitted. "I did sleep with her…sleep Sara…nothing more."

"Oh," she said.

"I wanted to…but she wouldn't…"

Sara flipped the shower nozzle causing it to spray Grissom.

"Sara!" He bellowed.

Sofia and Brass glanced at one another.

"You think we should check on them?' asked Sofia.

"I'm not going in there," said Brass. "Maybe you should…"

Sofia shook her head also.

Grissom grabbed the shower nozzle and pointed it away from him.

He stood there soaked.

She grinned.

She expected him to retreat but instead he turned the handle.

Sara screeched when the cold water hit her.

"You know maybe we ought to do something," said Sofia.

"I'll go if you go," offered Brass.

They started toward the bedroom.

Sara's screams continued.

"He wouldn't hurt her," stated Sofia in a questioning manner.

"I'm not worried about Sara," said Brass.

Sofia looked shocked.

Grissom turned the water off as Sara stood there shivering.

"You…you!" she yelled.

He was the one to grin now.

She grabbed his shirt collar pulling him closer as her hand flew back.

He caught it in mid air.

"Not nice!" he chided.

"I'll smack that grin off your face if you don't…"

Her mouth was interrupted by his lips.

He pressed her against the shower wall and deepened the kiss.

"I don't hear anything," whispered Sofia.

"Water stopped," noted Brass.

Grissom kept her pinned to the wall as his body crushed hers.

His lips left hers.

"Mind if I shower with you?" he whispered.

"You're overdressed," she said.

"I can…"

There was a tap at the door and then it opened.

Grissom hid Sara's naked body.

"Tell me I don't have to call in a 419," called out Brass.

"We could give us some privacy," growled Grissom.

"Sara?" asked Brass.

"Not yet…maybe later…it'd be for him…not me," she called.

"Well, in that case," Brass stepped out.

The door clicked shut.

Grissom and Sara stared at one another as they began to laugh.

"I told you they were fine," muttered Brass.

"You did not!" shoved Sofia.

Brass pretended it hurt.

"Breakfast is coming up!" yelled Brass.

Grissom stepped back and stared at her.

She tried to turn away but he stopped her.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

"I'm pregnant," she whined.

"Like I said, you're beautiful," he breathed as he pulled her into his arms.

"Your clothes are wet," she smirked.

"Mind if I take them off?" he asked.

Sara licked her lips.

She helped him and soon they were back in the shower.

He reached for the nozzle but she grabbed it first.

"You wouldn't," he warned.

The cold water blasted him.

He cursed loudly.

"They're at it again," said Sofia.

"You almost done?" asked Brass.

"How can you think about food at a time like this?" asked Sofia.

"That was Sara turning the cold water on Grissom," said Brass.

"How do you know that?" she asked.

"My ex did that to me when I came home drunk," he said.

"Did you uhm do that a lot?" she asked.

"Oh yeah…I wanted you…not her," he said.

Sofia smiled. "That might just get you lucky…later."

He grinned as he grabbed a strawberry and plopped it into his mouth.

Grissom grabbed the nozzle and turned it away.

"You just won't quit," he said as he grabbed her. He held her tight and she waited for his kiss but instead she felt him pour the contents of the shampoo bottle over her head.

"You just wasted a bottle….stop it!" she screeched.

He chuckled as her body was covered with shampoo bubbles.

She grabbed the bottle and poured the remainder on him.

"Sara stop!" he groaned. "I'm going to smell like you!"

"Is that so bad?" she asked.

"To me? No. To the guys? They'll never let me live it down," he wailed.

She laughed as she watched him wash it off.

She reached for the bottle once more but he quickly grabbed her, pinning her back to the wall once more.

"You like doing that," she gasped.

"Yes, I do," he grinned.

"You've pinned me down before," she said licking her lips.

"In the lab…I wanted you that day," he whispered.

"I know," she said.

"How uhm did you know?" he asked.

She grinned her Sidle smile and he blushed.

"I didn't think you noticed," he said.

"I did…I had to take a shower later," she said.

"Me too," he admitted.

He kissed her at that moment as his hands followed her curves.

"Let's uhm move this to the bedroom," he whispered.

He towel dried her hair and then covered her with his robe.

He grabbed her hand and quickly pulled her to the bed.

"Maybe we shouldn't…"

She was stopped once more by his lips.

His lips trailed down her neck and she moaned.

It almost pushed him over the edge.

His hand caressed a breast and then trailed down her abdomen to caress the small bulge before dipping between her thighs.

She writhed beneath him.

He gently entered her and she practically came off the bed trying to force him fully inside her.

"Slow Sara," he whispered. "I don't want to hurt…"

He moaned when she pushed him deeper.

"Sara…"

"Shut up," she whispered as she rocked against him.

He slipped out of her and frustration hit her forcibly.

He grinned at the expression on her face just before he plunged deeply sending her into a frenzy. Her body bucked toward his and he gently pushed her into the bed forcing her to lie still. He then slowly set up a rhythm and she followed. Soon they were both moving in unison.

He whispered her name over and over as he made love to her.

They climaxed together and lay there panting.

"That was…"

"We need to fight more often," he announced.

He groaned when her elbow made contact with his side.

"Not nice," he moaned.

"I smell waffles," she said sitting up in bed.

He chuckled.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty one:**

They sauntered out of the bedroom each taking a seat opposite one another.

"I take it you've ended the spat?" asked Brass.

"We weren't fighting," beamed Grissom.

"It sounded like…" Sofia stopped. She covered the snicker.

"We were merely discussing matters," said Grissom taking a bite. "This is good," he commented.

"I made your favorite," purred Sofia.

Grissom did not seem to notice the slight kick under the table.

"If you were aiming for him, you missed," winced Brass.

"Sorry," said Sara.

"It is his favorite," said Sofia. "These two will have you cooking before you know it."

Sara scoffed, "Not after they've had mine."

Grissom's fork stopped in midair. "You can't cook?"

"Is that a problem?" she challenged.

"No…dear," he replied.

Brass and Sofia hid the smirks.

Sara gawked at him.

"What?" Grissom asked as he stared at Sara.

"Dear?" she asked. "That's an animal that…."

"I have a few other choice words to call you," he dared.

Sara stuffed a fork full of food in her mouth.

Grissom did the same.

"Well….dear, I have to get to work," teased Brass as he stood.

Sofia stared at him. "That's it? You eat and then…"

Brass bent over and kissed her.

"Later," she said with a grin.

"Count on it," he said as he headed for the door.

Sara finished the waffle and stood quickly. "I need to go," she said taking her plate but Sofia grabbed it.

"Where are you going?" asked Grissom.

"Home," she said.

He scrambled out of his chair and went after her while Sofia stood there staring at the mess.

"Sara…Sara, wait!" he said.

He watched as she packed her things.

"I've got to get back to my apartment…wait you brought me," she reminded him.

He smiled. "Yes, I did."

He stood there with arms folded.

"Fine, I'll call a cab."

His smile faded. "Stay…here."

"I've got to get ready for work," she said. "I left my reports in the apartment."

"I'll drive you," he offered. "Then you can get some things and…"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Griss, we've been through that," she sighed.

"But…we…"

"I really need to go. Are you going to give me a ride or not?" she asked.

She reached for the bag but he carried it.

He was silent the entire drive.

She slipped out of the vehicle and he fell into step behind her.

Once inside the apartment, she took one look at it and cursed.

"I'll take care of this mess," he stated.

"I'll get to it after shift," she sighed.

"Sara, I'll call my maid. I'm sure she won't mind coming and…"

"I pay," demanded Sara.

"Of course," he relented.

Sara grabbed the reports and then started for the door.

"Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"The amnio…"he began.

"I'll let you know," she said.

She started to walk out but quickly kissed him. "I enjoyed the shower."

He smiled slightly. "Be careful."

Sara sat in the lobby as she glanced over some reports.

She was glad when her name was called as she sat down in Dr. Martin's office.

"I understand you want to talk with me about the amnio," said Peggy.

"I want to reschedule the procedure," she said.

"I'm not sure that is a good idea," said Peggy.

"Look, I know I kind of freaked the first time but…"

"Sara, you never mentioned the anxiety attacks," Peggy stated.

"That's because they were mild and I'd only had one…okay maybe two," she began.

"I would not recommend it," said Peggy.

"Why not? I won't panic this time," assured Sara.

"What's changed?" she asked.

"I uhm…I won't," repeated Sara.

"Sara, unless you prove to me that you've resolved some of your stress then I'm not inclined to agree to do the procedure."

"So how am I supposed to relieve the stress? Not knowing is causing the stress. I have Hank and Melissa wanting to have an active role in my pregnancy…Grissom doesn't like Hank. Hank doesn't like Grissom. I'm stuck here in the middle."

"Have you tried sitting down with everyone and talking about the issues?" asked Peggy.

"I've talked with Grissom."

"No Sara. You have to include Melissa and Hank," she corrected.

Sara was silent.

"If you can discuss the situation with all parties…in a civilized manner then…I might be persuaded to do the procedure. If not, you're going to have to find another doctor," said Dr. Peters getting up.

Sara rounded the corner and stepped into the elevator.

Glancing at her watch, she pushed the button and headed to the nursery.

She had been calling the hospital each day to check on the baby that had been injured on the bus.

Sara stepped out and made her way to the window. She spotted the baby immediately by the small cast. He lay there wailing.

A nurse saw her staring and she tapped on the window.

"Hi, can I help you?' asked the nurse.

"I'm Sara Sidle with the crime lab. I just wanted to see how…Alex was doing," she said.

"He's better. Social Services are having a hard time finding a foster home for him. There are no viable family members. He'll most likely be in care all of his life unless he gets adopted. Not many want a baby with special needs," said the nurse.

"Special needs?" asked Sara.

"He has a cast," she pointed out.

"But he'll heal!" exclaimed Sara.

"He'll also need special therapy and it was a bad break. It will delay his crawling and walking…he'll be developmentally delayed."

The nurse smiled at the person behind Sara.

Sara turned and came face to face with Melissa.

"I was afraid you weren't going to come today," said the nurse.

Sara felt self conscious as Melissa eyes slowly settled on Sara's midsection.

"Melissa?" asked the nurse.

"I'm sorry," Melissa said. "I got caught up…personal matters."

"He's all yours," said the nurse as she handed Alex to Melissa.

Melissa cuddled the baby and then sat down in a rocker.

"I'm sorry," said Sara. "I was just checking on him."

"Ever since Hank told me about him…I've been coming. I just wanted to make sure he was okay," explained Melissa.

"That was very kind of you," said Sara as she started to leave.

"Sara, could we talk?" she asked. "I mean I've tried to talk with you but…"

"I'm sorry but this is awkward…for me," said Sara.

"I just want to talk," she pleaded.

Sara sat down.

Neither said anything as Melissa rocked the baby.

Melissa smiled down at the baby.

"He's a good baby," smiled Melissa.

Sara smiled.

"I didn't know about you," admitted Sara.

"I know," she said. "I didn't know about you…not until you came to the apartment on that case….then I just sort of knew. It started to make sense."

Sara nodded.

"He uhm tried several times to break it off…I even let him go once or twice but I could never really let go…move on," she said. "I love him. I'm not sure I could love anyone else but…"

"Look, I've told Hank that we're done…no matter what."

"He told me. Sara, he's not a bad person…he just came from a big family and wanted children. The moment I saw him, I fell in love with him."

"Do you uhm mind me asking…"

"I had endometriosis in my late teens. I had a hysterectomy by age twenty-two," she said.

"I'm sorry," said Sara.

"We'd been together for a couple of years before the topic of children came up. He proposed and I said yes but then I told him and everything changed."

Sara stared at the floor.

"Hank is very excited about the baby," Melissa said.

"It might not be his," said Sara.

"He's hopeful…I am too," she said.

Their eyes locked.

"I can't give him what he wants. You could," she said. "Sara, I want you to know that I wouldn't…I would be very good to the baby. I would never…"

"I believe you," whispered Sara.

Melissa stared down at the baby. "Some women are so lucky. They never consider how much of a miracle birth is."

"There's adoption," said Sara.

"We talked about it…he was even excited about it until…"

"He found out I was pregnant," finished Sara.

Melissa nodded.

"Alex needs someone," said Sara.

"I'm not sure Hank wants to adopt now," said Melissa.

"What do you want?" asked Sara.

"I just want a baby," sniffled Melissa.

"Then why don't you apply to adopt Alex?" Sara asked.

Melissa stared at her.

"Single parents adopt all the time," explained Sara.

Sara sat there and chatted with Melissa for awhile until the nurse came to get Alex.

Sara watched as Melissa gave up the baby.

"You're very good with him," said Sara.

"You think I really have a chance…to adopt him?" asked Melissa.

"You won't know until you try," replied Sara.

Sara opened the door and found the apartment spotless.

She tossed her keys on the counter and grabbed a glass of orange juice.

"I can do this," she said out loud.

She glanced down at her answering machine and sighed.

There were several messages.

She clicked on the machine

_Sara, give me a call. You didn't tell me you were taking off._

_Sara, I'm worried. You're phone is off. I thought we could have dinner_

_Sara…I uhm love you…_

The machine clicked off.

Sara picked up the phone and called Grissom.

"Hey," she whispered.

"I've been worried," he began.

"I got your messages," she said.

"Are you okay?" asked Grissom.

"Yes, I am. I thought you could come over after shift," she said.

He smiled. "I'll be there."

"Griss?"

"Hmmm"

"I'm inviting Hank," she stated.

He was silent.

"I'm also inviting Melissa," she added.

"I'll be there," he replied. "Want me to come early?"

"That would be nice," she admitted.

"Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll support you…whatever you decide. Don't worry," he urged.

"I'm not…for the first time, I'm not," she said as she hung up.

Note from author:

fluff...see the white stuff floating around...causes havoc to the senses...

Take care!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two:**

Grissom came early as stated.

She grinned when he held up food.

"Doughnuts seem to calm people," Grissom grinned.

"You just like doughnuts," she replied.

Sara glanced into the bag. "They're doughnut holes."

"The best," he said as he plopped one into his mouth.

She did the same.

"These are good," said Sara as she took another one.

Grissom had no more sat the bag down when the doorbell rang.

"They're early," sighed Sara.

"You sure you're up to this?" asked Grissom.

"I'm sure," she replied.

She opened the door.

"We're early," Hank stuttered.

"It's fine," she replied with a forced smile.

Hank stared at Grissom.

"I thought we should talk…plan," Sara added.

_That's it Sara…_

_Use Hank's own words…_

"Good, I've wanted to do that from the beginning," said Hank.

Sara motioned for them to sit at the table.

They took their seats facing off.

"Doughnut?" asked Sara.

They shook their head.

She gulped.

"Okay, here's the thing. You're stressing me out," she began.

"I've not done…okay so I've been a bit overly concerned," began Hank.

Melissa's eyes met Sara's briefly as she sat there with her hands in her lap.

"We need to come to an understanding," said Sara.

"I agree," said Hank.

"If the baby is yours, I'll agree to visitation," said Sara.

Grissom showed no emotion.

Neither did Melissa.

"I thought we had already agreed to that," whined Hank.

"I'm agreeing to visitation…not custody," declared Sara.

"I want joint custody," howled Hank.

Grissom's eyes shot up.

He didn't like the sound of Hank's voice.

Sara's hand caressed Grissom's arm.

He calmed but still glared at Hank.

"No."

Sara's response was stern.

Hank looked frustrated.

Sara glared at him.

Hank glanced at Melissa and then at Grissom.

"That's not fair!" he said to the other two.

Grissom took a doughnut.

Melissa did the same.

"Hank, you can visit. You can be a part of this baby's life but I will not under any circumstance give you custody."

"Melissa and I could petition the court for custody," he shot back. "After we're married, I could ask the court for…"

"Do it," challenged Sara as she leaned forward in a threatening manner to Hank.

It unnerved Grissom.

Hank could easily grab her.

Grissom started to move forward when he saw Hank back away.

"Sara, I don't want to fight," said Hank. "But you know the court will look more favorably on a couple rather than a single parent."

"Grissom has proposed and I've accepted," announced Sara.

Grissom choked on the doughnut.

He quickly grabbed for his drink.

"I didn't know," muttered Hank.

"Neither did he which is the reason he choked on the doughnut," smirked Sara.

Hank smirked himself.

"Okay, Sara. What do you propose?" asked Hank.

"I'll hire a nanny…to stay at our home to keep the baby while I work. You can drop in after work and visit….I won't object to overnight visits as long as it's not difficult on the baby."

"Once Melissa and I are married, she could keep…"

"I'm not marrying you," announced Melissa.

Grissom almost choked again.

Hank's head snapped around to gawk at Melissa.

"I've changed my mind," she announced.

"You what?" Hank asked.

"I still love you which is the reason I agreed to come but I want what's best for the baby. If it's yours then I'll support you…but I'm not ready to marry you."

"You don't mean that!" he stammered.

"Yes I do. I'd like to visit with the baby…be a part of its life…if you'll let me," Melissa said to Hank.

He cursed.

"Have a doughnut, Hank," offered Sara as she shoved the box in his direction.

He took one.

"You could have told me…before we got here," he said sounding dejected.

"I've also completed the paperwork to adopt Alex," Melissa blurted out.

Sara smiled.

Hank choked on the doughnut.

Melissa patted him on the back.

"Alex! Who's Alex…wait the baby in the bus accident?" he asked.

"Yes, I've been going to the hospital everyday to visit with him" said Melissa. "There are no viable relatives willing to take him in. I submitted the adoption application today."

"They'll let you…a single mother adopt a baby?" he asked.

"The social worker was very hopeful," she replied. "She was impressed with my extended family as well as my references."

"Your references?" asked Hank.

"Sara and…the circuit judge."

"Circuit judge?" asked Hank. "Since when do you know…"

"I took the liberty of talking with one of Grissom's friends who assured us Judge Mathis would give Melissa a favorable reference," announced Sara.

Grissom glanced at Sara as he popped another doughnut in his mouth.

Sara smiled, "Judge Mathis is close personal friend of Grissom's...Heather Kessler."

Grissom's jaw dropped open.

Sara took a napkin and handed it to him.

He gulped down his drink.

Hank sighed. "I would have helped. I mean…the baby has no one."

"He has Melissa," retorted Sara.

"Well, Melissa has me," said Hank.

"I don't want anything from you," declared Melissa.

"Oh for Pete's sake, you're beginning to sound like Sara," Hank whined.

Grissom tried to hide his grin.

"Do we have an understanding?" asked Sara.

"What if I say no?" he asked.

"Then…" Sara licked her lips, "Then I'm willing to tell the court about the…broken wrist."

Hank's face lost all expression.

"The court could bar me from seeing my own child," he whispered.

"It was an accident!" yelled Melissa.

"He broke it in two places!" shot back Grissom. "His fingernails dug into her…"

Hank erupted at that moment.

The three of them stood there yelling while Sara sat there quietly in her chair.

"Stop it!" yelled Sara. "Just stop it!"

The others glanced down at her.

"Please stop it," she said.

Hank slumped back to his seat.

"You know that was an accident," he pleaded.

"Hank…this baby…deserves to have stability. We can't pull it from one house to the other. We can fight or we can give this baby what it deserves…a loving extended family. Look at us!" Sara lamented. "How can so many people profess to love a child and yet we can't even do what's best."

Sara shook her head in complete frustration.

"I just want to be with my child," urged Hank.

"I'm not going to deny you the right to see your child, Hank. I just want a life of my own…with Grissom and my child," explained Sara.

Hank glanced at Melissa. "I'm okay with that."

"Then there won't be any custody battle?" asked Sara.

Hank slowly shook his head.

"Good cause this stress is not good for either of us," Sara breathed.

"I agree," said Hank. "Did you have your blood pressure rechecked?"

"Yes…at the hospital," replied Sara. "After I rescheduled the amnio."

Grissom and Hank exchanged glances.

"No, you're not!" they both boomed.

"Yes…I am."

Hank fumed.

Grissom scowled.

"I know what happened last time," she said. "But it's not going to happen again…not now."

"I don't think you should take the risk," said Hank.

"I agree," added Grissom.

"Yeah, listen to your future husband…not that you've ever been good at taking orders," snorted Hank.

Grissom started to object but then had to agree.

Sara glared at both of them.

"Sara…"

Sara's hand flew up silencing Grissom.

"This has been really nice…let's not spoil it," she pleaded as she grabbed another doughnut.

"Talk some sense into her," grumbled Hank as he left with Melissa.

Once they were gone, Grissom stared at her.

She plopped another doughnut into her mouth.

He pushed the bag away and she scowled.

"You didn't tell me you had accepted my proposal," he whispered.

"It was a bluff. It worked. Hank backed down," she replied as she sat down on the couch.

He looked shocked.

"You used me?" he asked.

"I've uhm been thinking about your proposal," she admitted.

"Thinking about it? What if I've changed my mind…like Melissa?" he asked.

She burst into laughter.

He could not help but grin.

"You have to admit the look on Hank's face was priceless," she snorted.

"Had your fun at everyone's expense?" he asked as he sat down in the chair and stared at her.

Her feet came up and rested in his lap.

He rubbed her legs.

She licked her lips.

She started to remove her legs but he held them firm.

"So…do I get a yes from my proposal?" he asked.

"Can you put up with Hank…we may be stuck with him," she sighed.

"I can handle Hank. Will you marry me?" he asked.

She glanced down at the small rounded bulge.

"I scheduled the amnio for tomorrow. Peggy agreed to do it if I could sit down and discuss things without an anxiety attack. I did that."

"Sara, marry me," he pleaded.

"Would you come with me?" she asked. "Sit with me through the procedure?"

He stared at her.

"I won't panic…if you're there," she explained.

"I'll be there," he whispered.

"Griss?"

"Hmmm?"

"I think I'm going to be sick over the doughnuts."

He chuckled.

Note from author:

I'm still giddy over last night's episode....I don't even mind the fluff....

Take care


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter twenty Three:**

She went into work that evening feeling relieved that the get together had gone almost as planned.

She knew Grissom was still upset about the amnio but he was still willing to sit with her through the procedure.

_Just a few hours and then the procedure will be done…_

_In a few days we'll know…_

She grabbed Jeffrey as they headed out the door.

"Busy night," muttered Jeffrey.

"Every night has been busy," she said as she got into his vehicle.

She handed him the address and they took off.

Sara leaned back in the seat as she glanced over at Jeffrey.

"Let's go through what we know. The report says…"

She did not finish as she felt the seatbelt tighten and her body was thrown forward. She wasn't sure when she lost consciousness. One minute she was talking to Jeffrey and then the next she found herself wondering what happened to the windshield. It was then she realized the vehicle was no longer moving. She looked over and saw Jeffrey unconscious.

"Jeffrey!" she yelled.

She tried to reach his wrist in order to take his pulse.

The slight movement brought excruciating pain. She moved her right arm and tried to reach the seat belt but something was in the way. She looked up to find the roof caved in.

"Oh God," she moaned. She panicked when she heard the crunch of metal as their vehicle began to collapse from the weight of the vehicle that now lay on top of theirs.

Sirens exploded in the air and she told herself help would arrive soon. She attempted to move her legs but felt them pinned. Sara quickly tried to assess her injuries. Her chest hurt but she was sure it was just from the adrenaline along with the bruising from the seatbelt.

She slowly turned her head and looked over at Jeffrey.

"Jeffrey!" she yelled again.

He groaned and she sighed.

"What the hell happened?" he asked.

"Wreck," she moaned.

He quickly glanced over. "You okay?"

"Pinned," she fretted. "How bout you?"

"Head hurts…"

She began to yell at him when he lost consciousness again.

She was relieved when she heard voices.

Brass appeared.

"Sara!"

He sighed when he saw that she was conscious.

"I was following you guys," he said as he tried to assess the situation.

"Jeffrey…lost consciousness," she cried.

"Listen honey. There's a truck sitting on top of you guys," he cautioned. "This may take awhile."

"Get Jeffrey," she begged.

"We'll get both of you," he assured her as he quickly grabbed her wrist and checked her pulse.

He cursed when their vehicle groaned from the weight.

Brass began barking out instructions.

Sara tried to calm her nerves.

_Jim won't let anything happen…_

_We'll be out soon…_

_Just need to sit and…_

Her eyes shot open when she smelled smoke.

"Jim!"

A fireman appeared. "Stay calm. We've got it under control."

She breathed in deeply and felt the pressure on her chest. The truck was putting more pressure on her side and with each groan she felt it.

She turned and suddenly Hank appeared.

"Sara!"

"Check… on… Jeffrey," she managed between gasps.

Hank checked Jeffrey's pulse.

Jeffrey was removed within minutes.

"Your turn honey," said Hank.

"I'm ready," she said as she felt the panic rising.

He and a fireman assessed her condition.

The fireman shook his head.

"What's wrong?" she asked anxiously.

"Sara, they're going to have to move the truck first," said Hank.

He could tell she did not like the answer.

She felt something on her face and she turned to find Hank placing an oxygen mask over her mouth.

"Just a precaution," he stated as he took her pulse again.

"Hank…Hank…" she gasped.

"Deep even breaths," he warned.

"I…need…Grissom," she panted.

"Just close your eyes and…"

She grabbed him with her left arm.

"Please!" she begged. "Can't….breathe."

"You're having a panic attack," he said. "Sara, you need to calm down. This is not good for the baby."

"Want out!" she yelled.

The fireman's head appeared.

"Is there a problem?" he asked.

"Grissom!" she yelled.

"Calm down," soothed Hank. "I'll get him."

She struggled with the seat belt causing herself to cry out in pain as her attempts to break free were futile.

"Sara!"

Her head jerked around to see Grissom.

He grabbed her hand.

"Now that I have your attention," said Grissom softly. "Is there anything you want to get off your chest?" She glanced up at the wreckage.

She laughed as he squeezed her hand.

He adjusted the mask.

"Okay?" he asked.

She nodded.

The fireman appeared. "You're going to have to get out of the vehicle."

Sara glanced at Grissom.

"I'm not leaving," he said.

"Sir, we're going to lift the truck," he explained.

"I'm not leaving," Grissom said again.

"You don't have a choice," said the fireman.

"I'm not moving," declared Grissom.

"Look…" the fireman was interrupted by Sara.

"Grissom go," said Sara.

"You can go to the other side," advised the fireman. "We're going to pry the door open and then you can stay with her on that side."

"Grissom, please. I want to get out of here," begged Sara. "You can hold my right hand."

"Once they get the door open then I'll move," agreed Grissom.

They heard the sound of metal being pried away.

Grissom covered her ears as he kissed her gently on the lips.

The door was jerked off.

"Go," she motioned.

"I'll be right back," assured Grissom.

He soon appeared on the other side and held her hand tight.

"Ready?" asked the firemen.

Sara nodded.

She could see Hank and another medic waiting by the side.

She took a deep breath as she watched the truck start to rise. The firemen yelled as they heard the sound of metal slipping. Grissom grabbed Sara and pulled just as the truck came crashing down on top of the vehicle.

"Get a medic!" yelled Grissom as he held Sara. Sara grabbed his other hand. "I'm okay."

Hank and his partner rushed over.

"Sara!" yelled Hank.

"I'm fine," she said.

"How's the breathing?" Hank asked.

"Better," she breathed.

"We're going to assess your condition," consoled Hank.

"I don't think anything is broken…just bruised…not broken," she winced.

"Any contractions?" Hank asked.

She shook her head.

"Any cramps?" asked Hank.

"Baby… is… fine," she said.

Both men seemed to sigh simultaneously.

She held onto Grissom's hand as they placed her on a gurney.

"I'm going with her," said Grissom.

Hank said nothing but moved over allowing room for Grissom.

Grissom gently stroked her hair.

"Jeffrey?" she asked quickly.

"He's good," said Hank. "He has a really bad concussion. Both of you were lucky."

She yawned.

"Wake me when we get there," she said.

Grissom glanced down and chuckled when he saw that she was sound asleep.

She woke to the sound of muffled voices.

She turned her head and Grissom smiled at her.

"Have a good nap?" he asked.

She glanced around the room.

"A room?" she asked.

"Just a precaution," he said.

She scooted up and winced.

"Sore?" he asked.

"Tell me I can leave soon," she whined.

"Tomorrow," he said.

She grimaced.

Hank tapped on the door.

"Just wanted to check on you before I left," he said.

"I'm good," she announced.

Before he could say another word, Sara blurted out. "No cramping…no contractions."

"I'm concerned about you also," Hank said.

Sara smiled. "Bruised…hungry…hate hospitals…want to go home," she whined.

He chuckled. "The nurses are going to love you."

He headed toward the door.

"Hank?" she called.

He turned and looked at her.

"Thanks…for everything," she said.

Grissom waited until Hank disappeared.

She slowly rolled to her side as she curled into a ball.

"You okay?" he asked.

"The baby…is moving," she said.

His hand rested on her abdomen.

He smiled.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked.

"I'm hungry," she said.

"I think we can sneak in some food," he said with a grin.

"An orange smoothie too?" she asked.

"I'll leave it to Greg," he said.

She yawned as she pulled up the covers.

"Take another nap," he whispered. "I'll wake you when the food arrives."

"Thanks Griss," she said as she closed her eyes once more.

She woke to the smell of veggie burgers.

She smiled.

"Greg came through," she said.

She rolled over and found Dr. Martin standing there.

"Just checking on you," she said. "Mr. Grissom let my office know what happened."

"I still want to do the amnio," said Sara.

"How do you feel?" asked Dr. Martin.

"Sore but I'm fine. When can we…"

"Let's see how you're feeling in the morning," she replied. "If your regular physician okays it, perhaps we can do it while you're still here in the hospital. It would mean you would need to stay over another day."

"Fine. I'll do it," said Sara.

Grissom's hand tightened around Sara's.

She refused to make eye contact.

She knew he did not like the suggestion.

Once Dr. Martin left, Sara quickly kissed him.

"I need this," she pleaded. "I need to know."

"I'm worried. Your body has already been through one trauma. Sara…."

"Nothing is going to happen. I'd never do anything to put this baby at risk."

"I don't care about the results. This baby is ours," he said almost pleading.

She caressed his cheek.

She actually believed him.

Note from author:

Okay, so here is the deal, I am going to be out of pocket today so leave a review for boths chapters. Be nice. It may be a month or so before another story is released...maybe less... I have started one that I can't put down...may be the best yet...since I can do nothing except write on it...By the way, I have joined facebook if anyone is on there so go find me.

Take care!


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four:**

Sara sat there quietly on her couch. She had not budged since the amnio results had been delivered. She toyed with the opening but threw the manila envelope onto the coffee table.

Grissom had already called for the hundredth time as well as Hank. She had turned off her phone and chose to sit for the next few minutes in complete solitude. It was not to last as she heard the slight tapping on the door.

_This is it Sara…_

_You might as well open the damn thing and put everyone out of their misery…_

Her hands caressed the bulge in her lap.

_Everything is going to change…_

_There's no going back now…_

_Time to face the future…_

She opened the door and found Grissom standing there.

"Can I come in?" he asked. She stepped aside, letting him enter. His eyes caught sight of the envelope.

"Have you uhm opened it?" he asked.

"Not yet," she breathed.

"Want me to do it?" he asked.

"No."

She sat back down on the couch, drawing up her legs as she continued to sit there quietly.

Grissom sat down on the edge of the coffee table.

"I'm worried about you," he said. "You've not returned my calls."

"I needed some time to be alone… with this," she said pointing to the test results. "This can change everything."

"It changes nothing," Grissom said taking her hand. "No matter what Sara, we are in this together."

Sara picked up the envelope, ripping into the contents and shuffled through the report.

Grissom watched her reaction as one tear slipped down her cheeks followed by another.

He swiped each one away.

"I have a daughter," she gulped.

Grissom smiled. "She'll be just like you."

"Gil…"

"She's mine, Sara. I don't care what any test tube has determined in that report. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

She began to sob as she clutched at the report. Grissom sat down on the couch and pulled her body against his.

"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own," he whispered. "Now that we've gotten this behind us, can we get married now?"

She sniffled as he pulled out a ring from his pocket and placed it on her finger.

"I love you, Sara," he said as he kissed her. "Now once we get married, we need to start work on a name."

"I love you Gil," she cried into his shoulder.

**Epilogue:**

Grissom sat in the nursery as he rocked the baby. He smiled at the way her little fingers fit perfectly around his finger. His wedding band glistened against the light.

"Just like your mother," he whispered as he leaned down and kissed the baby's forehead.

"I've got her bag packed," said Sara. "Hank and Melissa will be here soon."

"Does she feel warm?" he asked.

Sara's hand quickly rested on the baby's forehead. "No fever," she said.

He glanced down at the bag. "She doesn't like expressed milk," he complained.

"It's the same," she countered.

"No, it's not," replied Grissom.

"Gil, this is hard enough as it is," sighed Sara.

"She's changing every day," lamented Grissom. "I don't like being away from her."

"Me either," she said. "But we have to do this."

Sara knelt down beside the rocker. "She's so beautiful."

"It was some birth," chuckled Grissom.

Sara smiled from the memory.

_Sara leaned back in the car seat closing her eyes. Grissom glanced in her direction._

"_You over did it," he said._

"_I never knew Catherine could locate so many baby shops," whined Sara._

"_You should have come home hours ago," he complained._

"_We were having fun. It's the first time she and I have really ever done anything together. I guess parenthood sort of gave us a bond finally," she said with a yawn._

"_The house will be ready in a week," he said. "Jim and I spent the day moving furniture. The guys helped."_

"_How's your knee?" she asked._

"_I'll pay for it tomorrow. At least we only have a few more days in your apartment," he said._

"_Be glad I still had the lease," she said._

"_I didn't think the townhouse would sell so quickly," he admitted. "I'll just be glad when we're settled. You know we're cutting it pretty close."_

"_How's that?" she asked._

"_Sara, your due date is just around the corner," he said as his hand came to rest on the huge mound that now occupied her lap._

"_We have weeks," she breathed. "I would just like to get it over with. My back hurts from this weight."_

"_You should have gotten off your feet," he preached. "No doubt your ankles are swollen."_

"_I wouldn't know. I can't see them," she quipped and he grinned._

_He helped her with the bags as they stepped into the apartment building. They stared at the elevator._

"_I can't do the stairs tonight," she moaned._

"_Neither can I," he admitted._

_They stepped into the elevator and pressed the button. Sara sighed when it began to move._

"_I so want to soak in the tub before bed," she said._

_Grissom looked down at her feet._

"_Your ankles are swollen," he reported._

_Sara glanced down even though she knew it would be impossible to see past the large mound. "I probably won't be able to get my shoes off."_

"_I'll help," he said as he pulled her into an embrace._

_She kissed him lightly but he deepened the kiss._

"_Not nice," she said. "I want a nice warm bath…not a cold shower."_

"_Come on Mrs. Grissom. Let's get you to bed," he said as he took her hand and prepared to get off as the elevator neared their floor._

_There was the sound of grinding metal and then a lurch. Sara was caught off balance and Grissom grabbed her quickly._

"_Not tonight," she groaned. _

_Grissom tried the buttons but the elevator did not budge. He attempted the elevator phone but it was silent. He fumed._

"_Did I say how much I dislike your apartment building," he muttered as he pulled out his phone._

_Sara leaned against the wall as Grissom reported the problem. Her back ached and she wanted nothing more than to lie down in a nice soft bed. He put the phone up and glanced at her._

"_You okay?" he asked._

"_My back hurts," she said._

"_Why don't we sit down," he said._

"_Griss, I can't see the floor. I'm not sure if I get down, I'll be able to get back up," she whined._

_He grinned. "The fire department is on its way. I'm sure they could hoist you…"_

_He moaned when her elbow made contact with his ribs._

"_I was just kidding," he gasped._

"_Not funny," she said as she tried to scoot her way down to the floor. He quickly grabbed hold of her hand and started to help her down. She stopped midway and groaned._

"_What's wrong?" he asked nervously._

"_I have a cramp," she said. "It's in my back. The baby shifted…she's going to weigh ten pounds I'm sure of it."_

"_If she does, it will be because of those fruit smoothies Greg keeps serving to you despite Peggy's warnings."_

"_Are you talking about my weight?" she challenged._

"_No…dear," he added as he decided that now was not the time to remind her of the last lecture they had endured about Sara's bone structure and the pressure of childbirth._

_He waited until the cramp subsided. He tried to help her back up but she grabbed his hand and groaned louder._

"_Stop!" she said in between gasps._

"_What's wrong?" he asked._

"_That hurts," she said._

"_Let's get you off your feet," he said as he tried another approach but she slapped his hand away._

"_Don't move me!" she said._

"_Sara, if it's a cramp, you got to work it out," he reasoned. "You've overdone it. You need to get off your feet."_

_She slowly nodded as he stepped forward and began to help her sit once more. They made it halfway when she grabbed her midsection._

"_Cramp?" he asked._

"_Contraction!" she screamed._

"_Contraction? No contractions Sara! Do you hear me! No contractions while we're stuck here in this elevator," he demanded._

"_Tell that to this baby. She's…ohhh," Sara moaned._

_Grissom forced her back to a standing position._

"_I want to lie down," Sara said._

"_Stay standing," he said._

"_Griss, I need to…lie…down…now!" she screamed._

"_She's not coming yet," he said. "The fire department will be here in just a few minutes."_

_Sara grabbed Grissom by the collar. "Get me down now!"_

_He looked at her pained face and suddenly he grabbed her into his arms._

_They both panicked when her water broke._

"_I'm scared, Gil," she whimpered._

_He kissed her lightly on the forehead._

"_Let's get you down," he said. With one swoop, he gathered Sara into his arms and gently placed her on the floor._

_She sat there leaning against the wall._

"_Better?" he asked._

_She sat there holding her breath._

"_Sara? Sara, stop holding your breath. You're going to pass out," he warned._

_She exhaled. "No contraction."_

_Grissom exhaled. "See, you just need to get off…"_

_He was interrupted by her slow groan._

"_Contraction?" he asked._

_She nodded through the pain._

_She released her grip on his wrist and the circulation slowly returned to his hand._

"_I'm calling 911," he said as he pulled out his phone making the call while Sara grunted through another contraction._

"_Hold on," he whispered._

"_I'm trying but she's being pushy!" she said as she gritted her teeth._

_Once the contraction ended, she sat there panting._

_Grissom shuffled through the bags. "At least we have clothes…blanket…who picked out this outfit? It's hideous!"_

_Sara glared at him and he thought it was best to keep his comments to himself at the moment._

_They heard a commotion on the other side of the door and Grissom smiled._

"_See, they are already here," he said._

"_Can you hear me?" yelled a voice._

"_Yes!" shouted Grissom._

"_It's going to be a few hours before we can get the elevator working," came the reply._

_Sara grabbed Grissom's arm. "We don't have a few hours!"_

"_You have to hurry! My wife has gone into labor," yelled Grissom._

"_Sorry, it's caught between floors," came the reply._

_Sara's screams got everyone's attention._

_Grissom held both of her hands as she gasped from the pain._

"_Contractions are just three minutes apart," said Grissom._

"_I think I'm going to be sick," moaned Sara._

_Grissom held her head._

_The nausea passed and she leaned back against the wall._

"_Let's get you in position," he whispered._

"_I don't want to have this baby here…I don't like closed in places…need to…get out," she panted._

_He cupped her face with his hands. "Sara, focus on my voice. We need to get ready."_

_She nodded slowly._

_He kissed the palm of her hand._

"_We can do this," he said with a smile trying to hide his own fear._

_They could hear the firemen working diligently to get the elevator working as the paramedics waited to get inside. Grissom's cell phone sat on the floor as the paramedic shouted instructions to him._

_The elevator lurched forward but then stopped._

_With each contraction, Grissom encouraged her to continue. His stomach lurched when the head crowned. _

"_Sara, you've got to continue," he urged. She continued to push. The bluish coloring alarmed him. He gently inserted his fingers and tried to get a pulse._

"_Sara, push!" he yelled._

_His voice was frantic and it sent a chill on her back._

_One final push brought the baby forth. She slid into Grissom's arms and he quickly began to assess the baby's condition._

_The paramedics asked for an update as Sara pleaded with him to let her see the baby but he continued to arouse the baby._

"_She's not breathing," yelled Grissom, knowing the knowledge would send Sara into a frenzy._

"_Try to clear her airways," the paramedic advised._

_Three gentle but strong pats were given to the baby's back but no sound followed. He glanced briefly at Sara as he began giving the baby CPR. One final pat and the baby wailed. Grissom wrapped the baby in the blanket as the baby continued to wail._

"_Sara, remember when I said we wouldn't let her cry?" he choked. "This is an exception."_

_He gently placed the baby in her arms._

_Sara opened the blanket and stared at small face that had turned red._

"_Isn't that the most beautiful sound you ever heard?" he whispered._

_Sara merely nodded as she continued to cry._

"_She's going to be fine," said Grissom._

_The elevator lurched again and this time it continued to ascend._

"_Promise me something," said Sara._

"_Anything," replied Grissom._

"_If Hank is the paramedic on duty, shoot him," she said._

_He chuckled. "It was Hank who taught me infant CPR."_

_He kissed her on the forehead._

"_I love you Sara…and Katie."_

Sara stood taking Katie from Grissom's arms.

"I'll get the door," said Grissom sadly.

"Gil?" called Sara.

He turned and looked at his family.

"Be nice."

Grissom opened the door and Hank stood there with Melissa. Hank seemed a bit nervous.

"Hello Hank, come in," said Grissom.

They stepped into the living room. Hank's eyes lit up the moment he saw Sara with the baby.

He stared at the sleeping baby.

"She looks so much like you, Sara," he whispered.

"Really? I think she looks like Grissom. Her eyes are definitely going to be blue."

Melissa walked over and Sara handed her the baby.

"She does look alot like Grissom. She has his hair," said Melissa.

"You think so?" asked Grissom coming to observe his daughter.

"I've left instructions on the fridge. If you need us, just give us a call," said Sara as she hesitated a moment before grabbing her purse.

She grabbed Grissom by the hand.

"Enjoy the wedding," called Hank. "We'll take good care of her…as if she were our own."

Sara smiled.

_but she's not..._

_she's ours..._

_mine and Grissom's..._

"It will be good practice for you."

"Alex gets to come home with us next week," beamed Melissa.

"I'm glad," smiled Sara.

"Thanks Sara…thank you both for helping us…get Alex," said Hank.

Hank extended his hand to Grissom and he took it.

"You've proven yourselves…to us. We would never leave Katie with you if we didn't trust you," said Grissom.

Hank chuckled. "Twenty bucks says you call every hour."

"Try every thirty minutes," called Grissom as he led Sara to the door.

They stood outside the door and waited to hear the slightest sound from their daughter but none came.

"Never been the best man in a wedding," said Grissom.

"Jim is your best friend. It seems fitting. Me, being the bride's maid…that was a bit much," smirked Sara.

"Sofia considers you a good friend," explained Grissom.

Sara stopped at the end of the sidewalk. "You really think she was warm?"

He grinned. "Let's go. Besides, I want to dance with you."

"Really?" she teased.

"I thought we could leave the reception a little early and…"

He didn't finish the sentence as Sara kissed him.

He groaned. "Wait…until after the wedding."

"Sorry…but you're too late."

The End.

Note from author:

Sorry but I couldn't resist...the tease....of course it's Grissom's...LOL

Take care!


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